January, 1990


1-1-90 - DREAM - It was 5 p.m. I was meditating after work because it was quiet then until the cleaning people came. Alice came and picked up some papers to take to T.M. I went into the back room and I could over hear T.M. through a cabinet on the wall in a meeting where a girl was talking about her problems. He told her to take to a higher Jesus.


1-2-90 - 4 dreams. In each dream a girl was 16 and a boy was 17 and when they grew to adulthood, the woman was 32 and the man was 34.


1-3-90 - 3 - DREAM - I dreamed that I got my divorce.

I dreamed that I met a man who just got his divorce.

I dream that my weight got down to 179.


1-4-90 - DREAM - I dreamed about divorce.

I dreamed that there was a tree across the street and it looked like it was dead and all the branches were cut off. We were offered a deal to cut it down for monay but we didn't want to pay for it. Finally the neighbors volunteered to take it out completely and resod the spot for free and I and my husband agreed to let them do it. I said to him, "We finally agreed on something."


1-4-90 - DREAM - I was dancing to some fast paced jazz music and my rhythm was improving. My husband told my children that I just needed more practice.


1-4-90 - DREAM - My daughter Jeanne came down with Scoliosis.  I hadn't noticed it 3 months earlier. I had developed very quickly.

NOTE:  My mother came down with scoliosis and it got quite bad, but her age of 86 was not in her favor.


1-5-90 - DREAM - I dreamed that my hair was coming out in huge chunks like it was cut off at the scalp.


1-5-90 - I was taken for a ride in the country in a sport car. The manw as driving but by remote control from the back seat. He made 3 right turns and there were no stop signs or delays in traffic. He said he was going to take a short cut through the country to where I was going. The road was very rough with many ups and down but the sport car took them all without feeling them. We arrived at a farm. The man went to bed to rest and left me to clean up and water the plants. I noticed that they were well watered. The phone rang on the wall in the kitchen. The call was for Dolores Garettson or Mary May Garrettson - a hypenated name. The man asked me if there was a sign nthe name and I said, "no! It's just hyphenated." I didn't think the call was for me.


1-6-90 - DREAM - I was in the back seat of a car driven by a woman named Evelyn who lived next door to me. We were going from her house to my house. We were on a wide street in the far left lane and would have to cross all the lanes and turn right to get to my house. There was only one othe car on the whole street. It was a gray car and it cut us off and forced us to turn left.

I expected her to go around the block and go to my house, but instead we made another left turn. She was driving wa over on the right side of the street now that I was afraid she was going to hit a tree. From where I sat, my vision was plit so that I could see both left and right like a split screen, but I could see the whole of the scene also. We were headed toward a school where we would have to turn either left or right. She aid, "I wonder what it would feel like to die. I could just step on the gas and drive straight on."

Evelyn then asked me to take over the driving. I agreed and she made a right turn and pulled up to the curb. Just as I was going to get out of the car, a black sports car pulled up to the driver's window and stopped. Whoever was driving the car, started pounding on the door like he wanted to get in. I put my hand on the door handle of the rght side door to get out and woke up.


1-8-90 - DREAM - I was given a choice of orange, red, yellow, or white lilies. I chose the white one. Then  I offered the same choice to my neightbors. They chose red.

I was then in my house and the phone rang. It was Loretta, my long time friend. There was so much noise that I couldn't hear her, so I promised to write to her.


1-10-90 Meditation: The essence of the soul is a combination of blue, pink, and yellow. The colors are intermingled, but not mixed together. On the right side, you will also see a hint of red and orange.

The seat of the soul is in the heart.

When a heart is transplanted from one person to another, the soul goes with it. When the defective heart is removed, the soul therein returns to whence it came. It does NOT stay with the body. These choices are made on the spiritual levels.


1-12-90 - DREAM - I had some fish in a tank and put two pregnant females into a smaller tank for safety of the babies. As soon as I did, I noticed that there were 3 babies in the tank with them. I was looking to see which fish had given birth to the babies when one of them started flipping higher and higher in her labor pangs. Out popped the baby and flipped right out of the tank into my lap.


12-12-90 - DREAM - I got up on a Saturday to find that Evelyn (my neighber) was in the process of moving from one side of the hall to the other. I was terriby angry because she had only moved into her apartment six months earlier, she had given no notice that she even wanted to move. Her old apartment was filthy dirty and had to be painted and they had Ed the maintenance man helping them. I was screaming at her and asking her what excuse she had in her mind against me that gave her the right to do this on her own without telling me. I told her that I would be charging her for the painting and that Ed got double time pay on Saturdays. Then my boss came and I complained to him too that I was upset because they had everything stapled to the floor and I had to go around and pry up all the staples they left behind.


1-13-90 - Meditation - "For heart transplant cases where a Jarvik 7 artificial heart is installed, the soul will lodge in the spleen. If the spleen is gone, it would go to the liver (but this is just a temporary situation in case a new heart is not available.)


1-13-90 - DREAM - I was walking down a long hallway and a man caught up with me from behind, put his arm around me and walked with me like we were one person, our walking was so synchronized.

I went to my house where I was going to cook dinner. I cut off the entire left side of a chicken and intended to cook the right half, but I oculdn't find a big kettle. They had all been used and were full of food in the refrigerator.

I was going to meet my Mom for lunch at a Mr. Squeeze restaurant on Teutonia and Medford, but the time went by so quickly, that I couldn't make it and it was too late to call her on the phone because she was alredy gone from home. I called her number and there was no answer. I then called 475-3995 and went into another dream.

In another dream, each one of my babies was in a separate house and my baby Ken needed special watching. My cousin Shirley said she would do it.


1-14-90 - DREAM - I was on 20th St. in Milwaukee. My kids were grown and were house-sitting at a house on 20th St. It was snowing heavily. I came up the walk and the snow was about 4 inches deep with ice patches over it. I decided I would shovel it before it got worse. I went up on the porch. I knew I had been at this house before on the left side. Now the owners lived there and my kids were taking care of the right side. I went in and asked for a shovel. The owners came in and asked who I was and I was introduced as the Mother. The owners asked if there was anything that I needed, they would provide it. We requested a shovel, but they said they didn't have one.They said they would take care of the problem tomorrow. I knew that would be too late, that the situation would be way too out of hand to do it then.

I went upstairs where the TV's and antenna wires were. I was watching a huge color TV set, sitting only 3 feet from it.  I said it was a 20" set, but th epicture was more like the BIG SCREEN sets like 3 feet across.

I realized I was much too close to it for comfort and got up to look out the window to see how bad the snow was getting, knowing that a huge storm was coming and that a giant wave was going to wash all the people away that were unprepared for it.

As I looked out the window, I saw the ocean swells begin to grow huge, and then retreat like they do just before they come smashing back in. I grabbed ahold of the yellow wall at a place where I would be able to ride the house wall section when the wave hit and all thosenot holding onto a house at a point like this would be washed away. I knew that I was going to be fine, but the owners would be washed away.

I looked out the window again. It wa dark out and all I could see whas a little snow on the ground, but I knew the waves were in full retreat, ready to come rolling back with full force.


1-14-90 - DREAM - I wanted to deposit a Lincoln cent in the bank. Ed, the maintenance man, and I headed for the bank which was across the bridge and to the right. I was going to deposit $759 and had to be there before the 3 pm. closing time. I could see on the bank clock that it might reach 3 before we got there. Then a cop stopped us for speeding and I knew we wouldn't make it.

While the cop wrote a ticket for Ed, I went to the bank and got in the back door, because I was now a new employee. I stopped a seedy looking character from getting in just by asking him what he wanted. The bank officer buzzed me in through the door and I went to a desk where a pink piece of paper was placed in front of me stating that the Vice President wanted to see me. Meanwhile a good looking man came to give a lecture to new employees. He showed a big poster on the wall and pointed out errors in semantics wehre 90% was said to be ALL and 50% was said to be MOST. The man looked very familiar to me. We went over to a copy machine where he demonstrated that writing had to be done evenly with heavy presure or the copy wouldn't come clear at the edges.

The man started to act sexually with me and finally said, "I've had you before, haven't I?" and I knew he was right and I felt embarrassed because I had just been with Ed too and I felt very promiscuous.

NOTE: Personally, none of that was true.


1-14-90 - Meditation  - After hearing that T.H., the leader of the spiritual group I  belonged to, had been charged by upset relatives that she wheels and deals financially and unduly influences people to will her their money and several people have died willing their money to her, I asked my personal Master guide about the situation. His answer was: "This is too big."  I then saw a woman's face mouthing the words, "Leave it alone!"


1-15-90 Meditation: The chain of mountains between Portland, Oregon and Alaska will all come to life and spew smoke, lava, and cause many earthquakes.

NOTE: Since this meditation, Mount St. Helens, Mount Rainier, and Mount Baker, all in Washington State have been known to be blowing steam, Mount St. Helens has been blowing smoke, and areas both north and south of these three major mountains have been rocked with earthquakes on a continuous basis. Most of them are too minor to be felt, however in checking the records over the years, the evidence shows that these mountains will eventually blow like they have in the past.


1-15-90 - Meditation: "Ted Kennedy will be devastated by losing his office to a much younger man. New evidence regarding Chappaquidic will be revealed and the people will turn against him.

NOTE: As of 1998, new evidence has come out about Chappaquidic and the people still re-elected him.


1-15-90 - Meditation - Q. Why can't I have a man of my own? A. You are being saved for someone special.

While I lay there, this thought came to me, "Martin Luther King is the reincarnation of the Jesus Personality."

NOTE: This was NOT the Second Coming of Christ.


1-17-90 - DREAM - I was wearing a pink dreess. I was shown in a library listinng about a book whiich showed that you can have the power of mind to do anything you want just by thinking iit. The book was by Zimmer, Zimmer, and Alcock!


1-17-90 - DREAM - I went out dancing with N.M. We had a wonderful time and danced beautifully together. When we came home, we were at the New Berlin house. N.M. slept in the bedroom by himself. I slept in the 2nd bedroom with my mother and father. we were all in separate beds. My mother had a bright red blanket, my father hd a bright blue blanket and I had a bright green blanket. My father's bed was across the head of mine like a T. My mother's bed was like extended out to the left of where my feet were like _| .

When I woke up in the dream,  I was laying naked on the white sheet, curled up on my right side. There was a window at my feet and woman in the house next door on the next level up put out her hand in a stop signal to not expose myself. I pulled up a large piece of white cardboard to cover myself, then pulled up the green blanket which had fallen to the floor to cover myelf. I knew too that I could not get up off the bed unless I had the green blanket around me because I couldn't expose myself in front of my father.

I realized that it was past 7:15 a.m. and N.M. had already gotten uup and gone to work. I got up with the green blanket around me and went over to my mother who hd an empty bottle laying on her chin. She handed it to me and said that it was empty and needed to be refilled. I looked at it and it appeared to be full, yet it really was empty. The fluid was sealed between layers of glass and only appeared to be full.

I felt very dizzy like I had a hangover and determined that I needed to get something to eat and woke up.


1-19-90 - DREAM - I was in a large building, maybe a school.  I wanted to mail some letters and went to the postal clerk. The man asked me what grade I was in. I had already graduated or was in the 12th grade, but I said I was in 10th because the postage was cheaper for 10th graders. He looked at my hands to see if I was married and there were no rings there to give my marital status away. Then he said, "Look at your hair!", indicating that he could see some grey. I said, "I dyed it red." He went away to find a woman with more authority. I stood there trying to think who was my 10th grade teacher in case she would ask me and I thought to myself that Mr. Lee was my history and Social Studies teacher. (It really was Mr. Gee) Then  I decided that there was no reason for me to stand there and wait to be questioned, so I left and woke up.


1-19-90 - DREAM  - I was in a house and a man came in acting accusatory and asking to see me. I picked up my baby in a blanket and held it against my chest protectively to show the man that I was a responsible person. He said that he wasnted to asked me some questions. I said, "The answers are: "No! No! No! No! No!, No! No! and N/A!" Then he asked me questions about whether I used drugs. All the answers I had given him answered all the questions he asked, and they were correct. I walked away , carrying my child, feeling triumphant over the man.


1-20-90 - DREAM - Becky (my daughter-in-law) showed me where he house was and how to get to it. It was through a very narrow alley from the main street and then out into another street. I gave Nathan (my grandson) a folder to play games with and things could be inserted. I gave Becky white papers she could copy from. Becky loaned me her car so I could practice driving it. (I had always told Becky I wished I had her attitude towards life)  I felt I was too close to the steering wheel for comfort and I had to push myself back a little to be more comfortable and have better control. While I was going to Becky's house, Debe (another daughter-in-law) called me on the car phone and said she was going to copy the white papers I had given to Becky. When I got back to Becky's house with the car, Becky said she could only find one of her white shoes, so I was helping her to look for the other one.


1-20-90 - Becky told me this TRUE LIFE STORY from the Barronette, WI newspaper:  There were two very religious people driving along the road near Barronette. They picked up a hitchiker. The man asked them what they had been talking about before they picked him up. They said that they had been talking about the "End of the World". He said, "Whether you know it or not, it's coming sooner than you think!"  They turned around to ask him a questioon to see what he knew about it. He had disappeared from the car. The woman stopped the car when they came to a police car and told hiim about the man. The policeman said, "You are the 7th car to stop and tell me about the man."


1-22-90 - DREAM - I was driving down Clarke St. to the grocery store on 15th St. when I spotted a houe with 4 fish tanks set up for sale so I stopped to see what the price was. I walked up to the house. The man stood on a side porch on the 2nd floor. He told me that in order to see the fish tanks I would have to go up to his Father's house on the other side of the railroad tracks near 16th St. and return through the alley. He said the round trip was about 3 1/2 miles. He said that he did that to weed out the lookers from the sincere buyers.

I really wanted to buy a fish tank set up so I went back to my car to make the trip up to his Father's house and back. I saw many other people wiht more money than I had ...come, look, and leave again.

I got out to my car and my daughter was sitting in my car. She aid that she knew people of influence that could get me into that house, but I knew that if I really wanted to get a fish tank set up I would have to do as the man said and go up his Father's house and back the long way, the 3 1/2 mile round trip and pay the price.


1-22-90 - DREAM - I was at my New Berlin house and was in the kitchen. It was a real mess and I decided that I was going to clean it perfectly and even bake bread before my husband came home. Two of my children were sitting in high chairs in the dining area crying that they were being neglected. They wanted to get down and sit on the floor and watch T.V.

I went back to the sink tow ash dishes and the water was already overflowing on to the floor. I got concerned about the babies getting wet and I went back to them and saw that they were underwater and probably dead. I grabbed them up out of the water, carrying them over my right arm and squeezing their stomachs to force any water out. I carried them to the livingroom, thinking they were already dead, but when I got there, they gasped for air and I saw that they would be fine. They hadn't cried out for help, they had just held their breath until rescue came. They were both wearing little red suits. I rubbed them dry and warmed them up. They were more important to me than cleaning up the kitchen.


1-22-90 - DREAM - I was at work, sitting at my desk. Suddenly, I became afraid that I had not done some work that I had been assigned and had been reading too many books. I began taking the books I had piled in the 'IN' basket and putting them in the typewriter section of the desk. But, when I got down to the bottom of the ile, there was no work to do and I felt relieved that I had, in fact, done everything I was supposed to do. The last book I took out of the "IN" basket was a green Bible. I took it over to the library shelves to put it where it belonged, and another man went with me, but when he pulled out a large encyclopedia volume, I saw that there was no place to put the Bible on the shelves. It didn't fit anywhere.

I went back to my house and the man went with me. I was intending to sort out all my clothes by type and color. The man went into the closet and began to pull out pieces of fur, some small, some large. Most of them were light orange and few were white. They were all soft and fluffy, but after he left, I saw that the fur pieces were beginning to take on a form and flesh of kittens and cats. They grew firmer and girmer, took on flesh and bones and began to walk around and became very agressive.

I tried to call T.M. on the phone to tell him of hte miracle that had occurred but I could only get Alice. T.M. was in a long meeting. I became more and more anxious to tell him of the miracle that had occurred, but as I waited I was thinking of the kittens and seeing that they were becoming more agressive and that thie claws had developed too and that they could be considered dangerous.


1-22-90 - DREAM - I was taking over as Manager of a large apartment complex. It was well built all except for the middle of the building. It was old and looked out of place. It resembled the old Italian house in my 16th St. neighborhood. I looked at it and considered that one day it might be removed and replaced with a more modern building.

I went to get the key to my office. It had a special lock on it and the key was hidden. I found the key but was unable to use it at the moment.

Evelyn (my neighbor) came along. She was moving out but refused to leave. She parked her car in the middle of the driveway and refused to move it and no one else could get in or out. I became angry and demanded that an older woman who was in charge of othe check-in and check-out desk call the police to have Evelyn removed. The woman didn't want to so I fired her on the spot. That made others upset too and we all ended up angry.


1-22-90 - DREAM - I was taking over as Manager of an apartment building. The old Manager who was a young woman in her early 20's was in the next apartment to mine. She burned everything she cooked and there was smoke out in the hallway. Someone told me she had just burned a pot of noodels. I saw the smoke and a big Christmas wreath flew up off the table all smudged with soot and flew around the room in and out of the oven where it was too large to fit. I was afraid the soot was going to mark up the walls. I went to the next apartment to see the old Manager and I noted that there was no doors on any of the rooms and no way to lock her out. She could come and go as she pleased. Then I saw that my son was playing along a wall and it looked like several walls had been chipped away at and were disintegrating. They needed to be repaired before they got any worse.

I asked my son who was watching him and he said "Nobody!" I suspected that he was the one chipping away at the walls, but I didn't know for sure. He said, "Irv called you and said that he couldn't make it." Thus my son had been unsupervised. I knew that I would have to keep my eye on him myself, but it would be hard to do that and work too.


1-22-90 - Because I had been shown in dreams and visions that T.H. was moving her spirit into my body, I went into meditation to ask the following using Holy Christ as my Master.

Q. Do I have a second soul in my body using my energy? A. "Yes! As a matter of fact you do. She has not yet accomplished what she went there to do. Q. What is that?  A. To teach the little children about me. A. I need my body's energy to accomplish all that I need to do and she is using it faster than I can make it. Is it possible that I could take over her responsibility?/ A. Yes! But not right now. Q. What is the reason? A. You have not yet learned to control her. Any time that you feel her influence, if you control the temptations, then you will be able to take over.


1-23-90 - DREAM - I was Manager of an apartment building. My boss paid me $100 per month to manage another apartment building in the next block, but when I thought about it, another woman did the actual managing, all I did was pick up the trash there. I did my duty and two old ladies came home there. I asked them if they wee going to come out again and they said, "No!" , so I closed the door and left.

NOTE: In 1996 I actually did do a job like this, managing an additional building in the next block, but I got $500 per month for it. And it was, indeed, for older people.

I went back to my 16th St. house where it was my job to hand out blue flowered shirts to those who deserved them. Not all shirts had the same amount of flowers on them. Some just had flowers on the cuffs and collars. My shirt had flowers all over it, but I preferred to wear a white T shirt over t to hide most of the flowers because I didn't want to look like a show-off.


1-24-90 - I had a new baby. He was 6 weeks old and he began to talk and could already crawl to wherever he wanted to go. I had him in 4 houses, in my 16th St. house, in my new house, in my apatment building, and in my new bosses house.

My own kids almost drowned him twice, once in the waterbed, but I rescued him quickly. I was nursing him and he spit up a lot. I took him to my bosses house and he spit up all over their bed, adn their blue blankets and all over his own clothes. I immediately threw all that into the washer, but that left the bab ywith no clothes. I found myself in bed with a man named Beldin. I had to go bck to my own house to get the baby's clothes. On the way, I saw a crew moving a white house from one street up a hill to another street. I went up the hill to my house and found two 'bag' ladies taking two little Christmas trees away from in front of my new house. They had not been planted, but were in pots. I just let them go and smiled at the ladies.

I picked up my baby's clothes and went back to my bosses house to get the baby. My bosses wife was tring to figure out how to lock the door, but the door was wide open and I walked righ tin. They had already dressed him in a green sleeper outfit which covered him from head to toe. I noted that he was still spitting up on himself a little.

I then took the baby out to my new car to park it behind my bosses house. At first I couldn't figure out how to drive it forward, every time I gave it gas, it went backward, but eventually I figured it out. I began to dirve forward, then my husband tried to stop me from driving the car. I had the baby in the car with me. My husband was standing in the driveway with a huge water hose. But with all the powerful spray, he couldn't stop me, the car or the baby. It was like being in a big car wash and the baby and I laughed all the way like it was fun. So I parked the car and began to take the baby around to the front of my bosses white house to go inside. My husband was still trying to stop me, but he crashed into the back of the house on the cornerr and began to bleed, but he didn't follow me.


1-24-90 - DREAM - I was in Washington D.C., riding in a motorcade. My driver started from the 3rd step up and we almost ran over a black boy running in the street when we changed lanes from right to left. He was trying to pull on a green and white sweater and I yelled at him to move over and he did. His mother was very angry that we didn't give them any warning that we were coming.

I then saw a replay of the situation of who was to blame. We were all in a huge limosine but it didn't show who was to blame.

Then I saw a series of three helicopters landing, one of which contained my children, and the next one didn't. I said, "There is no point gong if my children aren't going to be there. The third helicopter contained a pominent world leader in a light brown army uniform and I heard a reporter say, "And who is this world leader who has been demoted?"  The name was "Gromyko" or "Noriega".


1-25-90 - DREAM - I was taking care of my sister's baby and I had painted half of it green, so it was green and white. A man came in and wanted to meet me and I went to shake hands wiht him with my left hand which was full of green paint and my fingers were stuck together. I heard someone say, "How would you like to be married to someone like her?"

I went to my room and my niece had taken a box out of my room with my wedding gown in it. There were black children in the room and my wedding gown was gone.

My husband came to drive me home and my brother was goo-goo- eyeing me and hung on the side of the car and wouldn't let go. I told my husband to drive slow until he finally let go. I was still caring for the baby which was now dressed in a rose colored dress and when we got out of the car at home, I was also caring for her older brother who was dressed in blue. Together they were too heavy to carry at once, and my husband who now looked 100 years old came to take the boy in blue and carry him. We went into the house wehre two children were trying to play two games at once. I took away the game that had blue and yellow squares on it.


1-26-90 - DREAM - I was getting ready for work. I only had 5 mintues, but I wanted to see what I could of a movie I had been given called "The Galilean". I set the TV for channel 3 and then put the tape into the VCR. On the tape it said, "The Manhood". When the picture started, all I saw was slanted lines in blue and white from left to right - going uphill.


1-26-90 - DREAM - Overnight, I became a different person named Elizabeth. My hair was short and dark. I was smaller, my face was different and thinner. I wondered if anyone would know it was still me and recognize me.


1-28-90 - DREAM - My dreams were all food salt, no sugar.  An organ needed repair. I saw a pyramid made of some kind of food. Once it reached it's peak it went back down to the same low point again.


1-29-90 - DREAM - I was out in the west. I was with my husband and we had many jewels all like Tiger's eye and gold. There was danger and we knew there was a jewel that said, "Stop!" or "Help!" or something. We were trying to find it so it would be ready just in case we needed it. There were 6 women outlaws who wanted those jewels. They were all on horseback. First they gathered together i na group and then they split into two groups of 3 to surround the place to capture the jewels.

Meantime, my husband and I were in bed together and a priest or something asked me waht our problem was. We denied any problems and I sat between my husband's legs, facing to the right with our arms entwined over our heads.

Then my husband acted antagonistic and tried to push me away. I asked him, "What's the matter? I just want you to tell me that you love me!"

Then I was agin in the country house and the phone rang. It was my husband's great grandmother. Conversation went on and I asked her if she wanted to speak to the grandmother. She did, but the grandmother didn't answer. Then she came into view, all full of dirt. She had been out slopping the pigs. she had a sliver between her thumb and forefinger. My husband was going to cauterize it for her, but first he had to ge the fire good and hot. I sat down to wait for the fire to build. There wer eother fires back there behind the barn too. I hoped the wouldn't catch any other thing on fire.


1-29-90 - DREAM - Edward came home. He was real nice and I was pleased. He said he was going to sell our house and we would move to "Prince". I thought he meant Prince Albert, Sascathewan, Canada, but he didn't say that. He was outside, staining all the white parts brown. He said he would sign a contract as t owhat he would do. I asked him to say that he loved me, but he couldn't. Then there was another girl there and he wanted both of us to make love to him with our toes. I agreed, but went to the bathroom to get ready. I was wearing 4 black bras at the same time and white underpants with blue flowers on them.

There was another scene in the distance of a city blowing up and then of a bunch of building falling into the river that he owned. They said "Worth" on them. He said he figured out how to solve the problem. He just sold them to me and his problems were over.


1-29-90 - DREAM - I was given two wheels of wood with nine objects embedded in them in the shape of a cross, one was gold and one was silver.

I either had the same dream again, or I was given two more of these wheels.


1-29-90 - DREAM - I was told there was a funeral because a male relative had died. I dreaded it because you had to stand in church for so long, but I got ready to go I was all ready and I discovered that my family had gone without me.

I got to the church and was sitting out in the car in the front seat with the car door open and people were going by and saying "hello" to me by name but I didn't recognize them nor even know them when they told me their name. They even invited me for dinner and I didn't know who they were.

Then a girl went by, headed for the church with a jar of white human eggs with sperm. She said this was special because they were all guaranteed to have black hair like her. She appeared to be of south American origin or Central America.

Then I went inside the church kitchen, and I was nursing a baby. I was feeling guilty because it seemed to be someone else's child but I was treating it as if it was my own and it acted like I was the natural mother and I DID have milk for it.

Then an Englishman came into the room and asked what I had been doing and I explained that I had been nursing the baby. He said that he had just come to this country and his experience in trying to buy food at the grocery store had been terrible and he had left with none.

We offered to make him a salami sandwich (my family had gathered around me by now) then I was given a white box that was square. It was full of eggs. It couldn't only have held 9 from the shape of it and it appeared to be upsidedown and we carried it like it had precious jewels in it.


1-30-90 Dream: I and my sister and my husband and our children were planning to move to a house up the mountain, but my husband had to go another direction to take care of some business and then he would come back and we'd go up the mountain. He didn't come back and didn't come back, so my sister and I started out up the road hoping he would show up so we could leave. Each day we would go farther, but each night we had to come back and feed the children who would stay hidden in the basement or closet so no one could hurt them. My sister and I were afraid that we had gone up the mountain so far that he'd never find us, so we began to pave the road with raw meat on the left side where no traffic went so he could follow our trail. Still, every day we had to come back to feed the children. Finally, one day, we had gone so far up the mountain, we ran out of meat to pave the way and we had to ask for food along the way so we could keep going. A woman gave this to us gladly. Still, we had to come back to feed the children at night. Finally, the girl child had grown up and had a child of her own and my husband still hadn't come back from his trip, so I and my sister and the children had to go up the mountain and live alone.


1-30-90 Dream: I admired a beautiful model dressed in a black negligee. She said I could try on the negligee myself. I put it on and it had a magical quality about it because when I looked down at myself and in the mirror I looked just as beautiful as she did. The model lay on the bed as though made like a Barbie doll and I began to pull meat from her thighs and eat it. It tasted like turkey. The thought of eating her thighs and eating it made me feel sick to my stomach, but I continued to eat the turkey because I wanted to be beautiful.