A symbol of Baptism?

compiled by Dee Finney

To explain where the land in the dream exists - it is on the far southeastern portion of the glacier melt point of Wisconsin, at the end of the Kettle Moraine line where the glaciers melted many years ago.  Our house was built on the side of one of the mounds left by the glacier in the early 1900's. The way the soil settled on this hill, it is a pile of larger rocks, on top of smaller rocks, on top of sand, which is laying on top of the natural limestone bedrock which outcrops on the side of the hill.  Large oak trees grow on this hill, but the state cut the hill in half when building state highway freeway 15 which goes southwest from Milwaukee to Beloit, WI.  There is a large valley between the hills in this area, with many lakes and hundreds of small houses around them.

3-8-06 - DREAM - I was at home in New Berlin, Wisconsin. We had a government worker in our house and we were making copies of the pages of maps of the land around our house.  Our map was on page 175.

We had flat-bed copier that moved the whole book back and forth on the platen to take the picture of the page.  I t was difficult to keep the book in place to get a clear copy of the map. 

My sister was there also, so we got a copy of the map of her land too. 

When we were done with that, I looked out the window and saw huge plumes of water shooting out of the ground and flooding the land.

I saw then that our neighbors were all getting flooded too. 

I yelled to my husband who was Beau from One Life to Life TV show. I said, "Look out the window at the front 40".

He ran to the window to see what was going on, then ran into outside to try to fix the erosion that was occurring.

He stood on a huge pile of gravel, shoveling it down into the low spots. Huge rocks were crumbling off and he was adding whole colorful sofas to fill in the holes the water had eroded the land into. 

But the water continued to gush out from the ground. There was no way to shut it off.

This page not only tells the story of floods from pre-history - but into the present. This dream may be prophetic of future floods as well.

The 175th day of the year is June 24, 2006. 
It is St. Jean Baptiste day (Quebec)

Also known as the Feast of St John the Baptist

The 24th of June marks the Feast of St John the Baptist. This is known as St Jean Baptiste Day to French speaking cultures.

The date originally was the pagan celebration of the summer solstice. King Clovis of France christianized the event by making it a religious celebration of the birth of John the Baptist. John the Baptist is known as the Precursor of Christ, rebirth, and the light to the world, which explains the link to the solstice. Bonfires were lit to symbolize the light to the world.

This festival was particularly important for the Catholics of Europe, especially those in France, where the king of France would light the traditional bonfire himself. As the French culture moved to America, they brought the celebration with them. Naturally, in Quebec, where there is a large French speaking population the celebration took hold for many decades.

Unfortunately, like many religious holdiays, the holiday was securalized, and is now know as the Fête Nationale in Quebec. This does not stop modern Christians though from remembering the deeds, service, and loyalty of John the Baptist.

Matthew 3

In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the Desert of Judea and saying, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near." This is he who was spoken of through the prophet Isaiah: "A voice of one calling in the desert, `Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.'"

John's clothes were made of camel's hair, and he had a leather belt around his waist. His food was locusts and wild honey. People went out to him from Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan. Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River. But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not think you can say to yourselves, `We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. "I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire."

Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?" Jesus replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." Then John consented. As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." (NIV)

NOTE: Baptisms are done with water - so this dream may have a double meaning.



Wisconsin rivers and lakes

HOOYER, Thomas1, SCHOEPHOESTER, Peter1, MODE, William N.2, CLAYTON, Lee1, and ATTIG, John1, (1) Wisconsin Geological and Natural History Survey, Univ of Wisconsin, 3817 Mineral Point Road, Madison, WI 53705, tshooyer@wisc.edu, (2) Geology, Univ of Wisconsin - Oshkosh, 800 Algoma Blvd, Oshkosh, WI 54901

Large volumes of water contained in proglacial lakes along the southern margin of the Laurentide Ice Sheet occasionally drained catastrophically resulting in large outbursts of water to either the Mississippi or the St. Lawrence River. In Wisconsin, two such proglacial lakes are believed to have drained quickly as the Green Bay Lobe receded from its maximum extent ca. 21 ka ago.

One lake, glacial Lake Wisconsin, formed in central Wisconsin when the western margin of the Green Bay Lobe advanced onto the eastern part of the Baraboo Hills, damming the upper Wisconsin River. With recession of the ice margin 15 km from its maximum extent, the lake, containing more than 80 km3 of water, drained to the lower Wisconsin River Valley. This release of water from the lake cut through the sandstone bedrock, forming the Wisconsin Dells, and carried large boulders many miles downstream.

With continued recession of the Green Bay Lobe, glacial Lake Oshkosh formed in east-central Wisconsin along the ice margin at a lower elevation ca. 16.5 - 15.5 ka. The lake was approximately 5000 km2 in area and initially drained southward to the lower Wisconsin River Valley. With continued recession of the ice lobe, four lower outlets opened in succession to the northeast, diverting the drainage into the Michigan basin. The presence of deeply incised channels cut into bedrock below each of these outlets indicates that the lake must have drained quickly before reestablishing itself at a level that was on average 20 m lower. The volume of water that discharged quickly through each of these outlets is estimated between 18 and 57 km3. A series of rotosonic cores collected within the Lake Oshkosh basin commonly shows thick sequences of fine-grained laminated sediment capped by coarse-grained sediment. This coarsening-upward sequence indicates a rapid change in depositional environment that may be the result of a quickly falling lake level.

The discharge from these proglacial lakes may have been significantly less than the discharge from glacial Lake Agassiz located in Minnesota, North Dakota and Manitoba. However, the timing of the discharge events in Wisconsin may be correlated to earlier periods of incision recorded along the lower Mississippi River valley that preceded formation and subsequent discharges from Lake Agassiz.

2004 Denver Annual Meeting (November 7–10, 2004)
General Information for this Meeting

FROM: http://gsa.confex.com/gsa/2004AM/finalprogram/abstract_76387.htm

Spring Valley, WI 

By 1895, Spring Valley had become incorporated and boasted a population of about 1000 souls. Probably the only serious local fiasco was the flood problem. Bridges, railroad beds and trees sustained varying degrees of destruction, depending upon the size of the flood. Major floods occurred in 1894, 1896, 1903, 1907, 1934, 1938 and 1942. There were, in fact, three floods in 1942 and the one that washed through on the night of September 17, 1942 was, you might say, "the mother of all floods" in Spring Valley. That night was pitch black with no electricity and the flood waters moved at 12 to 15 miles per hour. By dawn the valley floor was underwater up to depths of 20 feet (where the present day Bank of Spring Valley is located). The flood quickly receded, but now villagers had to decide whether to relocate Spring Valley or build a dam. Frank Lloyd Wright visited in 1943 and offered to design a new village-as-a-mall (it would have been the first one ever). Instead of rebuilding on West Hill (now the site of Spring Valley Golf Course, "the best kept secret in Northwest Wisconsin"), the residents went to the Army Corps of Engineers and asked for a flood control gameplan.

Twenty years later, after tons of paper-shuffling and legislative wrangles, the present-day dam was authorized, funded and commenced in 1964. On September 21, 1968, the completed project was dedicated during the first "Dam Days" celebration and Spring Valley became known as "The Town That Wouldn't Be Licked." Another fringe benefit of the dam was the creation of the Eau Galle Recreational Area by the Army Corps of Engineers, a park that now attracts 250,000 people per year for swimming, picnicking, camping, hiking, skiing or just enjoying the natural beauty of the place. [historical source: Doug Blegen, "resident historian"]

[Printed with the permission of the author Dorie Haugen.]

FROM: http://www.piercecountywi.com/springvalley.html



inches of precipitation
above the norm

Drought and flood years are equally memorable. You may remember back to 1988 when the state was so dry that the Mississippi River had too little flow to sustain boat traffic. If you lived through them, the Dust Bowl years coupled with the Great Depression caused major migrations from the Great Plains states.

The weather can be downright devastating when several unusual seasons follow back to back. The great floods of the summer of 1993 took their toll following almost 16 inches of rain. The stage for disaster had been set by high rainfall in 1991 and a cold summer in 1992, which lowered evaporation and raised groundwater levels. This was followed by a wet spring in 1993 when 10.41 inches of rain fell in the Midwest. The ground was simply saturated. The additional 16 inches of rain that summer could not soak into soil fast enough. It cascaded down slopes and waterways, flooding out low lands and river valleys. We actually had more rain in the summer of 1980 (16.24 inches), but those storms followed a dry spring. Consequently, few areas flooded.

Tracking the temperature

After tracking the weather year to year for 105 years, hindsight provides some trends. Wisconsin's mean temperatures can be divided into four periods: the 1890s through 1920s when temperatures fluctuated both above and below the mean temperature; the 1930s, '40s and early '50s when temperatures were consistently above normal; the late 1950s through the early '80s when temperatures were consistently below normal; and the late '80s through the present when temperatures appear to fluctuate above and below the norm again.

Temperature trends for the winter and summer seasons were nearly identical to the annual averages, but the winters were more variable. Winters during the late '70s were consistently eight degrees colder on average than winters in the 1930s. So, among other things, when your grandparents and parents carp about how much tougher life was during the Depression, remind them that they are only talking about economic conditions. If you are in your thirties and forties, you experienced tougher weather as a child than your elders!

In summer, the differences between the highest and lowest means were about three degrees. That may seem small, but if such subtle changes are sustained, the landscape ecology would shift dramatically. A mean summer temperature change of only two degrees could change the look of the Northwoods, shifting the dividing line between Wisconsin's southern oak savanna and our boreal northern forest about 80-100 miles northward. Eventually the predominant stands of conifers so noticeable north of a line from St. Croix Falls to Wausau to Oconto Falls would not be common until one traveled as far north as the state border between Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Precipitation trends

Except for a short period in the late 1980s, rain and snowfall amounts have been on the high side since 1970, mostly due to really wet summers. The droughts in the Dust Bowl days of the '30s followed several years of back-to-back dry springs and summers. Groundwater levels took a long time to recover from this extended dry period.

I saw a less dramatic example for myself on the family farm. In the late 1950s, we regularly harvested crops of hay from lowlands that would be classified as seasonal wetlands. By the 1980s, after several seasons of cool temperatures and above-average rainfall, these fields had mostly become marshland. Groundwater in this area has risen at least four feet. In fact, my parents had to install a sump pump in the farmhouse in the late 1970s in a basement that was within and above bone-dry soil when the house was built in 1959.

Greenhouse or not?

Worldwide, mean temperatures reached their highest levels in the past 100 years during the 1980s and 1990s. Many scientists attribute part or all of these temperature increases to the greenhouse effect -- where sunlight reaching the Earth is radiated from the surface and trapped by ozone, water vapor and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Although Wisconsin's temperatures in the last 10 years were warmer than they were from 1956-85, they are still well below the average temperatures of the 1930s and 1940s.

However, the fact that average temperatures here have not reached an all-time high does not discount a greenhouse effect. Climatic changes are not constant across the globe; there is substantial regional variety. For example, worldwide temperatures from 1961-70 were somewhat cooler than they were from 1931-60. However in the United States, parts of the West were warmer than the norm from 1961-70, while eastern states (including Wisconsin) were quite a bit cooler. Even climatic models of the greenhouse effect show regional variety as part of the overall trend of global warming.

Some experts believe the greenhouse effect spawns stronger storms because the warmer temperatures provide more moisture and energy to fuel violent weather. Could this explain why Wisconsin's average precipitation has been higher since 1970?

Hard to tell.

The changes that we notice year to year are so subtle that only the hindsight of a few decades allows definite patterns to emerge. For instance, average rainfall increases of only two inches over a 25-year period would increase groundwater levels by four feet. A four degree temperature change during our coldest six months can increase our heating bills by more than 10 percent. During the past ice ages, world mean temperatures were only 10 degrees colder than they are now.

Wisconsin's climate has changed many times throughout our recent and not-so-recent history. These subtle swings bring big environmental changes that define our floodplains, groundwater levels, native vegetation, food supplies and energy use. In following the past 105 years of weather records, it's clear why the art of long-range weather prediction is so open to interpretation. The daily, seasonal and even yearly swings mask the small changes in mean temperature that could tell us if the next swing will head toward the greenhouse or the ice box. It takes a lot of hindsight to sharpen the forecasts.



FROM: http://www.geology.wisc.edu/~maher/air/air13.htm

More photos taken from plane on site


The Floods of 1993: Creating a Farm Family Support Network

R.T. Williams
Agricultural Safety and Health Detection, Prevention and Intervention Conference, Columbus, OH

Most of the damage (86%) caused by the Wisconsin floods of 1993 were experienced by farmers in the state. Yet, while the heavy rains were devastating, they merely capped off a decade of stress for Wisconsin farm families " stress triggered by plummeting land values, low commodity prices, high farm expenses, high property taxes, stray voltage, droughts and floods. This cumulative stress has resulted in an average of 637 calls per month to the WI Farmers Assistance Hotline in 1993 and an average of nearly 1,000 calls per month so far in 1994. Farmers call for a variety of reasons, but, increasingly, the hotline is hearing of serious emotional problems: depression, withdrawal, alcohol abuse, domestic violence and suicidal intentions.

The Health and Human Issues Department at the University of Wisconsin-Madison initiated a project to develop a Farm Family Support Network designed to help farm families deal with flood-related and other stressors. This project -- funded by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and administered by the Wisconsin Department of Health and Social Services -- is addressing the following goals:

  • To provide training for formal caregivers (health, mental health, social service, community action, domestic violence, and JOBS staff) to help them understand the farm crisis and how they can respond;
  • To provide training for informal gatekeepers (veterinarians, milk haulers, milk testers, artificial inseminators, farm credit advisors, creditors and agribusiness persons) to help them identify farm families in crisis and refer them for help;
  • To initiate new farm family support groups and revitalize existing groups by providing trainings for support group leaders and offering consultation to groups in communities across the state;
  • To provide direct assistance to farm families through the use of farm family outreach workers in the two areas of the state hardest hit by the rains of 1993; and
  • To publicize the Farm Family Support Network in various media so farm families are more aware of the resources available to them.

This seminar will highlight

  • the causes and effects of the farm crisis, and
  • the project components and impacts to date.

Participants should also become more aware of the culture or world of farm families "their unique experiences, situations, values, beliefs and attitudes" and how to more effectively work with people who share this cultural background.

Disclaimer and Reproduction Information: Information in NASD does not represent NIOSH policy. Information included in NASD appears by permission of the author and/or copyright holder. More

NASD Review: 04/2002

This research abstract was extracted from a portion of the proceedings of "Agricultural Safety and Health: Detection, Prevention and Intervention," a conference presented by the Ohio State University and the Ohio Department of Health, sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control/National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health.

The author noted above is at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, WI.


Mississippi Flood Claims More Land in Midwest

April 20, 2001 02:32 PM ET -- PRAIRIE DU CHIEN, Wis. (Reuters) - The rising Mississippi River, out of its banks in four Midwestern states, swamped low-lying homes and cut off a 130-year-old tourist attraction in Wisconsin's second-oldest settlement on Friday. As a flood crest moved slowly down the upper reaches of North America's longest river system, forecasters had bad news -- the possibility of weekend thunderstorms that could dump heavy rains into parts of the watershed...

Mississippi River has burst it banks - April 20, 2001
The National Weather Service said the most recent rains in the area were not sufficient to worsen flooding, but added that severe thunderstorms were set to march across the upper Mississippi Valley into Saturday. It said those could produce "very heavy rain which could cause flooding on the tributaries that feed the Mississippi." The big river was out of its banks along 400 miles from Minnesota and Wisconsin south into Illinois and Iowa. While the river was falling slowly in the northernmost sections, it was rising from Prairie du Chien south, and towns that will not see the crest until next week were erecting sandbag barriers and reinforcing existing earthen levees against the highest water seen in those areas since 1965. The Mississippi, combined with the Missouri, which flows into it near St. Louis, forms the continent's longest river system. The amount of water from spring thaws following heavy winter snows and rains now coursing through the upper parts of the valley was hard to conceive. The U.S. Geological Survey said the flood crest when it passed La Crosse, Wisconsin, earlier this week was measured at 224,000 cubic feet per second -- enough to fill several hundred large swimming pools every minute. By comparison, one swimming pool 20 feet long, 12 feet wide and 8 feet deep would hold 1,920 cubic feet of water, filled only once.

FROM: www.newprophecy.net/part2year2000.htm


Heavy rain produces Wisconsin flooding

MILWAUKEE - As pumps vacuumed brown water from the flooded parking lot of a shopping center, Kevin Benkowski donned a pair of chest-high waders to enter his clothing store for children and film the wreckage for his insurance agent and lawyer.

The nearby Underwood Creek had overflowed and poured 7 feet of water into the store Thursday. He and his wife had to be yanked out through windows by rescuers.

"It's a total loss," Benkowski said Friday. "Everything's floating. I'm just kind of praying that my insurance agent and my lawyer can bail me out."

With a chance of more showers today, officials, residents and business owners slowly began assessing the damage from downpours that saturated southern Wisconsin.

The rain flooded freeways, ruined homes and filled Underwood Creek, where searchers found the bodies of two boys.

The receding waters of the creek in suburban Elm Grove exposed the body of the 14-year-old boy Friday. Searchers found the body of his 10-year-old cousin this morning.

The boys disappeared Thursday in a ditch flowing to the creek during a third consecutive day of heavy rain.

The water caved in basement walls, stalled an Amtrak train en route to the West Coast and washed away a portion of the Blackwolf Run golf course where Se Ri Pak won the U.S. Women's Open a month ago.

Gov. Tommy Thompson toured the Sheboygan area Friday about 50 miles north of Milwaukee. He put a comforting arm around shoulders of people whose homes were soiled by overflowing creeks, ditches and storm sewers.

"It's much worse than I had been led to believe," Thompson said. "All we can do is assure them we'll do all we possibly can to help them."

Despite exhausted police and flood-damaged streets, Sheboygan proceeded with plans for a Mickey Mouse parade today. Mayor James Schramm predicted the event would attract 60,000 visitors to the Lake Michigan city of 50,000.

Christine Wolf, a landscape designer, spent Friday drying out her basement in suburban Wauwatosa. "I think my plants got a little too much water," she said.

State emergency management officials said floods had to subside before they could estimate the cost of the damage.

"It's just too early," said Lori Getter, a spokeswoman for the state Division of Emergency Government. "There's so much water."

Federal Emergency Management Agency inspectors, already in Wisconsin to assess damage from wind storms in June, will survey the flood damage Monday, Getter said.

By the Associated Press

Floods and Flash Floods
the awesome power


  • Even though Wisconsin doesn't have steep mountainous terrain, it has had its fair share of flash floods and floods which have injured or killed many people, and caused millions of dollars in damage to all kinds of property. Wisconsin has many old, earthen dams which are getting weaker each year for a variety of reasons, one of them being tree roots expanding down through the compacted soil. These old earthen dams are very susceptible to flash flooding! Find out if there is an earthen dam in your local area!!!
  • Flash flooding or flooding due to ice jams are a threat every year somewhere in Wisconsin since most of its river's ice over in the long, cold winters. Flash floods due to ice jams are highly unpredictable, and can happen very quickly.
  • Between 1990 and 1999, flash floods and other floods killed 6 Wisconsin residents.
  • The parts of Wisconsin that are most susceptible to flash floods and other floods are the urbanized southeast locations, and the hilly southwest and west central counties.
  • The Milwaukee Metro area to Fond du Lac and Sheboygan experienced major flash flooding on June 21, 1997 after numerous thunderstorms dumped 5 to almost 10 inches of rain. Luckily, there were no deaths or injuries, but property and agricultural damage totaled about 92.1 million dollars.
  • A killer flash flood occurred on the Baraboo River and Skillet Creek near Baraboo in Sauk County overnight on July 17, 1993. Heavy rains of 12 to 13 inches triggered the flash flood which resulted about 7.8 million dollars in property damage. Sadly, a 12-year old boy drowned in a car he was riding in after it was swept away by the flood waters.
  • A flash flood damaged 50 to 75 miles of highways in Florence and Forest Counties on July 15, 1999, after 5 to 8 inches of rain fell in only a few hours. Damage to 49 homes, 2 businesses and the roads totaled about 2 million dollars.
  • On July 25, 1999, heavy rains of 3 to 6 inches on top of wet soils resulted in flash flooding across Douglas, Bayfield, and Sawyer Counties. Many roads were washed away. Flood damage in Douglas County alone totaled 2 million dollars.


  • Warm season flash floods are the result from intense rainfalls in a short period of time due to slow moving thunderstorms. Topography, soil conditions, and ground cover also play an important role.
  • Flash Floods occur within a few minutes or hours of excessive rainfall, a dam or levee failure, or a sudden release of water held back by an ice jam. You may have only SECONDS to save your life by the time you realize what is happening!
  • It takes only 6 inches of fast flowing water to sweep you off your feet!
  • Water only 2 feet deep can float away most automobiles!!!
  • Nearly half of all flash flood fatalities in the USA are auto related!!! Once a car is floated away, it can easily be flipped over, thus trapping its occupants, and leading to possible drowning.
  • Many flash floods occur at nighttime... when it is difficult to see. 75% of flood deaths occur at night.
  • Flash Floods can affect built-up urban areas because run-off is increased 2 to 6 times thanks to the paved roads, parking lots, sidewalks, and buildings. 60 % of flood deaths occur in urban areas.


  • Know which county you live in. The National Weather Service issues Flash Flood or Flood Watches on a county basis when there is a possibility of flash flooding or flooding in or close to the designated watch area. Be on the alert!
  • Flash Flood or Flood Warnings are issued when flash flooding or flooding has been observed or is highly imminent.
  • Urban and Small Stream Advisories are issued for inconvenience flooding of small streams, streets, and low-lying areas such as railroad underpasses and urban storm drains.
  • Know your area's flood risk, flood history, and elevation above flood stage. Determine whether you live in a flood plain. Identify where high ground is located should a flood occur.
  • Check your homeowner's or renter's insurance coverage concerning flood damage. You may have to pay an extra premium for flood coverage.
  • Have a family emergency plan. Have a pre-determined spot away from your home where you & your family can go to if told to evacuate. Chose an out-of-state friend as your family check-in contact, should you get separated from your family.
  • NEVER drive across a flooded road!!! You don't know how deep the water is, or if the road has been washed away underneath the water level. DO NOT attempt to wade across a flooded street!!!
  • Do not camp or park your vehicle along streams and washes, particularly during threatening conditions.

...Produced by Warning Coordination Meteorologists from the NWS Offices servicing the state of Wisconsin

FROM: http://www.crh.noaa.gov/mkx/flyers/flyerflood.php

Midwest haunted by threat of more flooding

04/20/2001 - Updated 05:23 AM ET

By Jessie Halladay, USA TODAY

Residents along the upper Mississippi River braced for heavy rain forecast for the weekend and kept their fingers crossed that it would not send the river spilling over levees and hastily built sandbag walls. Tensions rose with the water along the banks in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa and Illinois. Residents scrambled on Thursday to shore up existing levees and build emergency walls to keep the water from their homes and businesses. In Wisconsin, Gov. Scott McCallum called in the National Guard to help distribute 20,000 sandbags Thursday as emergency crews fought the rising river in Crawford County.




More photos and story


So how tough are we?

+50 F/ 10 C Wisconsinites plant gardens

+40 F/ 4 C Californians shiver uncontrollably
Wisconsinites sunbathe

+35 F/ 2 C Italian cars don't start

+32 F/0 C Distilled water freezes

+30 F/-1 C
You can see your breath
You plan a vacation to Florida
Wisconsinites eat ice cream

+25 F/-4 C
Boston's water freezes
Californians weep pitifully
Cats insist on sleeping on your bed

+20 F/-7 C
Cleveland's water freezes
San Franciscans start thinking favorably of Los Angeles
Green Bay Packer fans put on T-shirts

+15 F/-10 C You plan a vacation to Acapulco
Cats and dogs insist on sleeping in the bed
Wisconsinites swim with the Polar Bear Club

+10 F/-12 C It's too cold to snow
You need jumper cables to start the car

0 F/-18 C Sheboyganites grill brats on the patio, hey!

-5 F/-21 C You can hear your breath
You plan a vacation to Hawaii

-10 F/-23 C American cars don't start
It's too cold to skate
Ice fishers close the door on their shanties

-15 F -26 C You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Wisconsinites lick flagpoles

-20 F/-29 C Cats sleep in your pajamas with you
People in La Crosse think about taking down their screens

-25 F/-32 C It's too cold to kiss outside
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
The Milwaukee Brewers head for Spring Training

-30 F/-34 C You plan a two-week hot bath
Pilsner freezes
Bock beer production begins
Wisconsinites shovel snow off the roof
-40 F/-40 C Californians disappear
Wisconsinites put on sweaters

-50 F/-46 C Alaskans close the bathroom window
Green Bay Packers practice indoors

-60 F/-51 C Walruses abandon the Aleutian Islands
Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
Wisconsinites put away their gloves and take out the mittens
Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start the Klondike Derby

-70 F/-57 C Hudson residents replace their diving boards with hockey nets
Green Bay snowmobilers organize a trans-lake race to Sault Ste. Marie

-80 F/-62 C Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
Fastest race ever at the Birkebeiner
Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start their Klondike Derby

-90 F/-68 C The edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer

-100 F/-73 C Santa abandons the North Pole
Wisconsinites pull down their ear flaps

-173 F/-114 C Ethyl alcohol freezes
Only Door County cherries are usable in Brandy Old Fashioneds

-297 F/-183 C Oxygen precipitates from the atmosphere
Microbial life survives only on dairy products

-445 F/-265 C Superconductivity

-452 F/-269 C Helium liquefies

-454 F/-270 C Hell freezes over

-456 F/-271 C Illinois drivers drop below 85 mph on I-90

-460 F/-273 C All atomic motion ceases
Wisconsinites allow that it's getting a mite nippy

About the author

Climatologist DICK KALNICKY obtains grants and contracts, and coordinated cleanups of contaminated lands in DNR's Remediation and Redevelopment program in Madison.