JOE'S DREAMS - 1989 TO 1990


I first began to record my dreams in 1977. After about nine months, I stopped recording my dreams because I could not understand their meaning very well. For the next thirteen years, I only recorded a few special dreams, most of them in 1982. In 1990 I began to dream very often, sometimes many dreams each night. Many of the dreams seemed to be indicating great changes for humanity, so I began to record them again.

My wife, Nancy, and I separated in 1987. She had a very severe problem with her spine, eventually having six major surgeries. The pain medication affected her mentally, which led to difficulties in our relationship. I continued to raise my two boys from my first marriage, Mike and T.J.  Nancy and I reconciled in 1990, and she returned home. Unfortunately, after about a year, our attempt failed, and we separated again, for good.  

The first dream on this page, "The Rabbit Dream," was the only dream that I recorded during the years of our first separation.

I wrote the various comments and interpretations (in parenthesis) in 1990. My interpretations have changed somewhat since that time.  

The Rabbit Dream
July 17, 1989

I came home from work. We planned to eat dinner. Our home became a different place . . . a much bigger, three-story, white building. We were in a very large room on the second floor, filled with people eating at small, round tables. Only a few people were setting at each table (this could represent the many people who lived at our house and each eating their own conditioned beliefs).  I sat on top of a bunk bed (higher perspective). I became upset because the food looked lousy (negative beliefs. Spilled food = throwing off old conditioning.  Created mess = process causes period of confusion, conflict and stress).  When I tried to clean it up (resolve confusion and conflict), I saw an even bigger mess (other people's conflict worse than mine). Nancy was crying and saying she wanted to go home (she couldn't handle it and wanted to go back to conventional ideas). I tried to clean up the big mess but it was falling faster than I could pick it up. (the messed up world was too much for one guy to straighten out. It was getting worse faster than I could fix it). I got more upset.

I asked people if they had seen my car keys. (I wanted to get out of the situation by finding the right ideas - keys - to unlock a new belief/vehicle - car - to escape. I was seeking ideas from others who were more lost than I). I grabbed a woman's keys setting on a table, and she grabbed them too. I realized they were not mine and let go (this could represent Jane Roberts's "Seth" ideas. I had to let go and find my own).

Nancy cried and ran outside to a stairway. She ran up the steps to the next floor, and went back into the building (this could be her way out of our situation by her back problems and emotional disorder .Going up the outside steps could mean she is actually on the right track for her).

I went after her, but I was somehow under the steps (we tried to go the same way but there was a barrier between us. It was a high road and a low road that led to the same place). I yelled at her but she was gone (I tried to talk to her to keep our marriage together but she didn't hear and we split up).

Rod (a production supervisor from work) came slowly down the steps. (Rod is calm and confident and in charge or in control. He was coming from the top = a knowledgeable entity from heaven or the spirit world). He reached through the stairs (barrier) and gave me a watch. I told him, "No! I am looking for keys." I handed the watch back to him. In a calm voice he said, "Take the watch, it's just as good." I then took the watch. (this could mean that time is as good for making changes, improvements and healing wounds, and/or time to be by myself and the kids without Nancy).

(I think this next part represents what would have happened if I had not heeded the advice. In fact I did accept the advice. The next part is what would have happened if I had NOT taken the advice).

I walked down the steps a little way (this is backsliding away from the ascent to new ideas and higher spiritual development).  I was suddenly in another location, away from the house. It seemed to be night time then. Nancy was standing at the top of some rough dirt steps that led down into a dark forest (this represents going back with Nancy). At that point we were at the top of the rough dirt steps. The steps were old, unstable, and uneven (an old way of doing things, which is unstable and contradictory, almost like they were accidentally made my nature. Evolution of man on earth created the old way. Survival of the fittest = danger of the world, hence 'evil').

Nancy climbed onto my back, like a "piggy-back ride." I start hopping down the steps with my feet together (like a rabbit - being manipulated by sex into a behavior. She had to be "carried," in the sense of a burden on me, which would impede my progress in many ways, including my spiritual development). With her on my back, I could not see her (or know her or the situation).

We descended down into a dark forest (down the old road to a dark - lack of light or truth - way of being. A forest is a place where one can become lost). I couldn't see the end (I did not know where the path would take me = the feeling of a ship without a rudder; no clear direction of where our personal relationship, my life, or my spiritual awareness was going).

I wasn't sure if the dirt steps would hold (I feared our life-path would be a disaster for both of us).  There was a reddish, mud lake at the bottom. The surface of the water had a covering, like a big tarp or blanket. I asked Nancy what it was. She said, "It's the Rabbits Lair." (This refers to where the path led . . . to the hopping-to behavior for sexual favor. The cover is a shell of protection and a barrier to impede an attempt to go back up). An animal was pulling, kicking, or thumping its feet on the cover. (the animal represent me or mankind at an earlier evolution in a stage of trying to get the protective-impeding shell off, so you can start the ascent.)

She said to go into it, into the "Rabbit's Lair." I refused. I did not take the path all the way to the bottom. I went to the left. We looked across to a grassy knoll on the other side of the lake or chasm. Brighter light was shining on it (a better way with more enlightenment was there for me to see but I can no longer get to it.)

I saw many young animals running and playing on the grass. Some young people were running and playing with them. They appeared new and happy. (these are the new ideas of the young being left alone to play. They are in tune with the animals. There is no fear in them, or the world. This results in a happy world, and an improvement in the mind; i.e. carefree fun. The word 'new' indicates a new type of human and animal and earth).

I turned around and saw an awning with a large blanket on the ground. It was brighter (light) there, as a fluorescent light was attached to the underside of the awning. (I turned my focus away from the potential new world to a place with bright, but artificial light - some knowledge - but not the practicing example that I could be. The awning is like a shell that offers less protection, but allows you to look out and escape if you want. This represents a third choice where I stay with Nancy but keep learning and  allowed me to keep my options open. But I would be giving up the practical example of living out the ideas). I walked to the blanket with Nancy still on my back. (I would have to carry her in. She would be a burden still. But I would get to this choice).

We started to make love and I was torn by wanting to stop and wanting the love and sex. I wanted the good feelings but I did not want to hop like a rabbit and stay in that nitch. I wanted to be across the knoll . . . to the bright, happy, carefree place.


Update on The Rabbit Dream
October 24, 1998

I began to look at The Rabbit Dream in a different way by late 1990. I realized by then that one's wife, in a dream, can refer to the feminine aspect of the self, the dreaming, intuitive, right-brained aspect. Various dreams and myths have a theme where the male and female are separated in some way. For example, in the East Indian story of Rama, the hero must battle the evil demon and the Titans who are holding his wife, Sita, captive. After a long struggle, Rama and his warriors, with the help of the Monkey King, defeat the opponents, and he is re-united with Sita.  

The feminine aspect can change in various ways, just as the East Indian Goddesses have various "aspects." I feel this may be why Nancy, in the dream, went upstairs, only to be downstairs - outside, after I descended the stairway. This seems to be showing two aspects of Nancy, and/or my own feminine aspect.

Another example is a dream sent to me by Pablo, which I call, "The Planet of the Apes Dream":  

"I came to earth with a crew of astronauts during the time of a flood. I put a girl into an upper room. We had come to the earth to help a tribe of people who were being dominated by a cruel ruler. Then, I helped a tribe of apes. In order to sign this compact, I had to have sexual intercourse with one of the squalid she-apes."

Another universal theme is the "descent into the underworld," or the like, such as the many Greek myths, where the hero must go down into Hades. There is often a "return" to the surface, the world of light, after a period of time. This can be interpreted as our "descent" into our reality, which in some traditions is equated to "Hell."  It can also indicate a "descent" into the unconscious realms, the part of the mind that is "under the surface."  

This is one of many dreams that may have a greater meaning for humanity. The "duality" theme is quite major in the earth changes ahead, I do believe.


7-17-89 - DREAM  - I got mad at T.J., hurting his feelings and telling him to get out. (this may be a possible result that would have happened if I had stayed with N.)

NOTE: when I woke up, my left arm hurt like it had been under a lot of tension for a long time.


6-15-90 - DREAM - I dreamt that a man was sitting in a car or on a couch. He was dead and his head was tipped back. Someone was putting a pillow or a couch pad over his face to hide him. I told Jason or someone to hide him and take him away.

NOTE: After I woke up I heard on the news that a man had been shot in a drug raid. Another man tried to barricade himself in a bedroom and was also shot.


6-17-90 - EXPERIENCE - I snoozed, woke up, snoozed again, then made a decision to turn off the TV because I could have a psy-time experience. After awhile I fell asleep but remained conscious. Everything remained dim or shaded. I flew over what looked like a future city. It looked kind of Greek-Roman, yet new and modern. Most memorable building looked like Jefferson Memorial building but had a ball on top with a boy on top in an active or running position. He had what looked like a war-army hat on. Later I thought this might have been 'Mercury' who could run fast.

I flew up the side of a mountain that had dim light below (perspective) I also flew over some flat ground, just over the ground. I flew through some concrete rooms like a big parking building (like at an airport). I was afraid I would smash against a wall, but overcame this turned my back while still flying and smiled. I went right through the walls.

I was laying in a bed and nancy was laying on a bed nearby. I rolled over and started to feel suffocated by the pillow. I started to panic and call for nancy but I stopped myself and overcame this too.

I saw a man singing in a framed area, sort of like a T.V. but he was live. The words were very inspiring and emotional. I was yelling and cheering.

I was then standing in a line outside a park(?) A burly young man wanted to take his son out of the line and said to me, "do you mind?" He had plenty of room, but I made more room. He wanted to fight but I turned away and said, "I'm not going to play that game."


6-24-90 - JASON DREAM - Jason, Cliff, and Justin were going to Waterford or somewhere in Joe's car. (my vehicle or method) Justin was driving real fast. Jason felt 'high or drunk' and like he couldn't see clearly through the seats (Justin is perceived by Jason as leading in following the ideas, but going too fast and being reckless which could cause harm or danger)

Cliff asked, "Why is he driving?"  Jason said, "Hey! You are going too fast!" (Cliff questioned his leadership and told him to slow down) They stopped and started playing outside of the car. (The quit using my method and started playing or living on their own)

Cliff climbed a telephone pole with a bunch of wires on it and a transformer near the top. (Telephone is transmission of message from above. Climbing = to reach higher spirituality. Transformer is source of power through induction. Wires could be the ball of string. Looks like Jason picked up the same information in this dream that I did this morning)

Cliff climbed the pole. His hands started getting sparks and he was getting shocked. (Jason perceived that climbing the spiritual or belief change ladder can be shocking and dangerous)

Cliff worked his way back down and finally jumped back to the ground. (Jason perceived that Cliff couldn't handle the climb and got down to earth or the previous belief system)

NOTE:  Jason woke up laughing. This indicates the sense of play and fun involved in the pursuit of changing beliefs. Also that it takes courage to take on such a challenge. The getting out of MY vehicle represents that you can't just adopt someone else's ideas. You must find your own by being courageous enough to take on the challenge. To go through the shocks, to do it with a sense of play or joy.  The three boys from the dream are all from similar backgrounds of conditioning in Christian values and beliefs. Cliff and Jason were Jehovah Witnesses and Justin was a Mormon. They all rebelled or rejected those beliefs and found their way to me and T.J. and Mike to receive new ideas.


6-27-90 - DREAM - We made B (an official) look so much like he was lying that he or the city stopped the proceedings in the middle and changed their plea to guilty (or innocent?)

Then I heard "Now modify that with an enlightened check".


6-27-90 - DREAM - I told T.J. I would do something when I smiled again. Outside our house two girls asked me where T.J. and his friends were. I said, "Not here!" As they were walking away, T.J. and his friends pulled up in a car. I yelled at the girls, "There they come". One girl got into the car and was happy. I was in the car too. I started smiling. I told T.J. "I'm smiling!"  then I got out of the car to go into the house.


7-27-90 - VOICE - Upon waking, I heard, "In unstructured world, how do you get in if your puzzle pieces don't have the right notch and you won't fit in."

Later I heard, "Take the blue one or red." Reminds me of my oversoul dream, also gang colors. The first sentence reminds me of DNA and picture over Jeff's puzzle pictures. He has two on his desk.


8-5-90- DREAM - this was a sick-joke dream. An old man with Alzheimer's was trying to teach a class on Alzheimers but he kept forgetting what he was saying.


8-11-90 - DREAM - I dreamt that it was time to die or I was going to die. I decided to do it myself. In preparing, I was going to take some papers with me that looked like receipts. They were typewritten, some white and some yellow. I think they had important messages on them. I put them on the bed. Some were in plastic bags. I sorted through them, deciding which ones I would like to have with me when I was found dead. I decided to only take one.

I talked to Mike and T.J. before I left, but I decided to not tell them that I was going out to die. I felt kind of bad about that.

I traded for another vehicle. I felt like I obtained it somewhat immorally. I was newer and larger (Buick I think) It was tan in color. I planned to sell it before I died (killed myself) and sent the money (about $600) to Mike.

NOTE: In 1998, Joe dreamt that he went into another person's body and was shot in the head. He woke up from the shock feeling very strange. (Dee thinks he is a walk-in and has taken over another soul whom was her teacher in Milwaukee)


8-13-90 - DREAM - I dreamt about Frankenstein. I drew a sketch of it. the earth is a rubble with a city in the background looking like post-nuclear destruction. The monster is in tatters. I called to him because I want to help. He is confused and runs away.


8-23-90 - DREAM - Someone was saying that man learns and ets a better perspective from wars. but not much better and prayers are slow. As the words were spoken, I saw troops shooting the enemy in great numbers and then running over them as they stacked up. By this method the killers were a few feet higher off the ground and had a wider field of vision.

Then I was in a room, laying in a bed or on a couch. There was a monster in the corner. Something like Frankenstein. the scene reminded me of the 'Exorcist'. I started saying, "the living consume the dead," over and over. The monster came over and grabbed me. I kept making the statement. Then I realized I was dreaming lucidly and called for T.J. to wake me up. (He did)


8-26-90  - DREAM - I dreamt that human meat was being put on plates. the dream the other night said 'the living consume the dead'.

NOTE: I wonder if when people die in battle for the purpose of our collective learning, if that represents the living consuming them. From the Gospel of Thomas: "He who drinks from my mouth will become as I am and I shall be he."