by Monica

Today I begin by asking to be allowed to drop all judgment. I am tired and I lack ‘resistance to change.’ I can see that judgment begins with holding. We must hold judgment as an image of our countenance as we register our resistance to change in the holding. Discernment lacks holding. It flows as a register but not resistor of change. It doesn’t resist flow in the holding, but it beholds the flow as it changes. I am so tired of holding judgment. I am tired of resisting change. I don’t want to resist. I don’t want to hold judgment of any or all things. I will simply go with the flow. If the holding says “Do not step into the flow,” I will not. If the allowing says “I will go,” I will.

‘I see discernment as a lack of holding.’ If a friend wants to perpetuate negative image, then I will not hold that. I will allow that in discernment by its lack of attraction for me. Negative image is held in the mind of the holder as positive image, yet, it perpetuates negative involvement or downward evolution for some who witness its explosion. I will not hold it; I will allow it and ‘I will savor it as fleeting.’ ‘We do not ask you to be incomplete.’ That was in response to the thought that I still have to be aware that it does not attract me. I can’t completely let go of all awareness or comprehension.

I have to say that I am beginning to see it. I am beginning to see ‘with awareness’ to whom the energy flow, who profits from the interaction, from the display of teaching. As much as they speak that their interactions are intended for the integrity of the listener, it is ultimately their ego which profits. I am beginning to see this, ‘aware.’ As much as they bemoan their fate as bearer of bad news and offer assistance, as they energetically may, you can see them balloon out as they profit from the interaction. The listeners display dependence and depletion. They offer good will, only to profit considerably in their self image of importance.

How do we avoid this in future contact? I mean if I begin to teach, how will I avoid the dependence and energy depletion in those whose images are yet too weak to stand on their own?

You can see the import to their image of self. You can see it expand in response to the awe or worship, the praise, of the others which comes toward them in spite of what they profess to aspire to perpetuate in the others. ‘Dependence, they desire to control through dependence.’

The others are led to feel that they cannot initiate contact with the spiritual realm on their own, that their efforts are not good enough, not true enough, not complete enough. The hears of truth give control of their own lives to another rather than take it back from a failing reality. Those who profit will not, cannot, let go of the need to feed their own self image.

Listen to the one whose classes are in night school. How are they completed in her? In the necessity to create fundamental difference in her life from her others? How is this manifested? In the naive delight in the necessity of dependence upon her leadership and control? She believes her initiatives make her uniquely responsible for the plight of those in whom the necessity for leadership makes them dependent.

She craves greater and greater catastrophe to give her greater and greater opportunity to practice her skills. ‘Addicted, craves drive.’ She craves leadership but does not crave responsibility and so she casts that off to others, as she creates her own leadership skills alone. She focuses upon the catastrophes which gives her opportunity to create need for leadership. What was the purpose of the date given to her? Did you see her react to gather those whose needs are to rely upon her for leadership? It didn’t matter whether the catastrophic event were real. It didn’t matter whether the event were guaranteed but she reacted to the dry run of her skills as though it were a real event and not imagined. So out of her need to practice her need to lead, a reactionary event was created for which to perpetuate that drive.

I’m starting to get the idea that we can be played as easily as a drum. Tap here, boom there.

Leaders are being created out the need for leadership. Not all will be called, not all will be needed to fill a gap but all are being created out of that need. Each will fill the gap according to their prior leadership, according to their needs, according to the degree to which they are developed for leadership. Each will fill the gap according to their leadership skills. Some will lead to water. Some will lead to truth. Some will lead to physical survival. All will lead to a spiritual possession of the reality of concern. All will lead through fear as this is a fearfully complex hierarchy.

Some will, however, if they are so inclined, lead in fear. These are those who will disable the fear through the declassification of knowledge. They will apply the truth of this reality that they have been controlled through fear through all the ages. Fear is a double edged sword, controlling both the wielder of the means of control and that which it would control. They will apply the knowledge of their lack of freedom to lead and control their own reality, and so, they will chaff at their blunder. They will return to the knowledge that they are free and able to control their own destiny. They will return to the reins of their own being.

Remember, however, that each will lead how they are able. If they are a fear based being, it is through their own fear that they will lead. We will not make another fear what they are unable. If it is they who have blunder, they will create control of their blunder. If they do not oppose the concept of creating through fear and continue to create of that fear, they will have continued to have fearful control of their listeners. Listen to them. Listen to who they are. They will continue to create of their true being. She is afraid and perpetuates fear in those who follow her. She develops her leadership skills and so is opposed to true leadership of spirit as it opposes her control. As she enters full consciousness, as she does, she will lead of spirit and not of control. As she releases to her higher awareness as she comes into full contact, she will no longer contradict herself or her species.

Remember in nightschool we come into contact in full alignment with spirit as we enter in through the avenue of the beings full development. As you are developed and seek development, we will enter there through the intention of spirit. Do you seek to develop physical awareness of your environment in order to be suitable for interaction? Then, we will develop that concern. You will seek development of what you are fully worthy of. We say of worth to know that if it is of concern to you, you may know it is of concern to us. No one is judged worthy of itself to stem its growth.

All are grown as they are fully able. Even those at nightschool, learn at their ability to comprehend a larger reality. If your comprehension ability is nil, you will learn at that ability to comprehend. If your ability is gross, or not subtle, your ability to comprehend will confine your perception to thus. If your ability is entirely subtle, you will learn to comprehend at a more abstract and larger concern.

All are confined and all are confined thusly: To determine truth at their ability to comprehend. We aren’t talking spiritual concerns, we are talking mental comprehension. We are not talking about intellectual comprehension which is concerned about mind balance, we are talking about the mental body and its ability to float into its avenue of least defense. This is not about holding in the mental capabilities and the recitation of facts of mind control, this is an avenue which the mind takes when it is least contracted and least concerned about its exposure to mind control. These avenues are gained through the relaxation of the being when it is no longer concerned about contracting itself in its isolation.

And so, true learning, or comprehension, or the building of the mind body is done at night while the body rest and the spirit is returned to its world where its progression proceeds. Its progression to proceed is never abandoned even while at rest in the body. Even while its focus is confined to the body, its truth growth is never abandoned. Progression proceeds and is never abandoned.

But what does one hope to accomplish while in the body? That may be its focus for a while which is assured or life would not be attempted at this level. If your focus or attempt of being is to guarantee physical survival that will be the focus of the mind as it attempts its resuscitation at night. It will be the focus of its concern and will so believe that to be its focus. It will believe according to the maturation of the mental body whether or not it is a concern of all. It will believe according to the maturation of the mental body whether or not it is at peace with that concept. It will believe according to the maturation of the mental body. Belief is located within the confines of the mental body. We can see that the development of the mental body leads to the construction of icons, or the visual representations of truth as it is perceived, whether physical or etheric. All true images are created of the visualization ability to perceive vibration as an object, physical or otherwise. It is holding in its truest form. Visualization is holding of a pattern of a desired form. Visualization attempts to recreate that pattern at the intended level of its form.

When we grow, when we recreate ourselves at our highest level of intended form, there our learning will begin. If we are able, we will begin there. We will begin at the level which we are enabled to comprehend according to our level or need to grow. We recreate ourselves according to divine pattern which is determined by the divine mind which determines our level of comprehend. We can, if we will, determine our minds to be determined or visualized by divine mind. Our patterns or levels of development are according to pattern and we will be represented there. And so we are not truly self determining as we exit this free will reality and enter into the comprehension of the mind. But we will find, however, that far greater freedom exists in the mind than we are able to comprehend. We will find, for instance, that all potential does exist but not all potential exists.

And so as we return from night school we may find we are programmed by a predetermined record of development. We may find that we lack free will to determine our destiny but our destiny is determined by our free will. If we lack imagination, we may be unable to determine that our point of contact has been previously determined, and we may lack the skills to determine this. We may be unable to determine that our level of comprehension determines our comprehension. We determine as we are able. Some lack comprehension that their comprehension does not encompass all. They are not fully enabled. They perceive that their point of comprehension is only correct. They do not perceive that all not correct. They think that their excursions into the night are created or recreated out of an ability to perceive and not deny truth.

All examples or expressions of truth are created of an ability to perceive and deny. We block as we are able and we receive as we are able. And so our perceptions of what we term truth are both perceptions. Perceptions are created in the mind and do not contain an external reality. We are guided as if by two streams. We are guided by two poles as if we balance from two extremes, as though we are held and guided by two guides, two streams of knowledge, held and suspended between two poles of knowledge. We hold onto our guide raft like a balloon guided by two lines grasped by two hands each pulling toward another extreme. We are guided thusly: We are balanced and determined by two polar extremes, neither manifesting dominant control, but each manifesting out of need to guide and control. We create out of our ability to balance two polar extremes. We manifest out of our ability to guide the balance into reality.

And so we see our lives here manifests our ability to balance those extremes. We see some who are clearly unbalanced. We determine, then, their destiny to counteract the extreme which manifests dominant control. We perceive thusly: Some lack domination of one control or another and lack the need then to dominate others. Exist then in balance and your record of contact with others will always reflect the lack of domination. Do not exist either in subjugation and your life will not reflect a need to subjugate others. Neither extreme exists but is held in the mind of the holder, and is not real but in the reality of the holder. Remember what we do to ourselves, we do to others as it is the holding of it in the mind which leads to its manifesting. What we do to others, we do to ourselves eternally.

Truly amazing. I had forgotten the question, ‘my control, my message,’ that I asked which led to the answer - but you didn’t. What is held in the eternal mind is always held. Release control that you might be released to Its control. What is held in the imagination as real is always real.

Now we look to the subconscious mind, to subconscious control. We have known for some time, of a lack of control in the conscious self to determine own destiny. We have become aware of some blockages leading to the loss of an appearance of self control. We see an image of one. In the celestial body of the solar plexus we see that one did not desire development of a certain aspect of self. We see how that lack of development was guaranteed until one was ready. We see the in the development of a previous lifetime of a blockage, or an avoidance of self to delay conception of a certain ideal of self. The ideal being the goal of self of development. That development was delayed until the self was ready to manifest that idea. We are ready. ‘Describe.’

Whenever thinking about going somewhere away from home or out the norm, I get a burning, sick feeling in my solar plexus. While my hand was on one day, I heard, ‘Fear.’ I thought it occurred whenever I plan to leave the normal reality, whether of physical or ideological reality. Later another day, I had my hand on the solar plexus until ‘the body of readiness was complete.’ It became so uncomfortably hot that I removed that hand and ‘wafted the congestion which congealed above, ‘ blocking the flow to the remedial bodies.

        "I thought I was supposed to describe. ‘We are one.’ Okay."

Then I was told to simply stop and remove the hands altogether. A short time later. A very plaintive voice said that ‘The priests are all right but the priestesses are in extreme danger.’ I knew that the priests were nonthreatening to the masses but the priestesses were very much of a threat.. The male priests were somehow knowable and acceptable to the ‘mineral’ masses. The female energy was frightening and unknowable, somehow mysterious. It felt like their power was disturbing and uncontrollable so they had to be eradicated, wiped out. The male hierarchy of priests was allowed to remain in existence and so the priestesses went underground where they now remain to this day (at least for me.) Now we are being allowed to come out and play. The female energy felt dark and mysterious, unknown and powerful. Not dark in a negative connotation, but black as in all colors and all unseen, as in below the surface and complete. Like a black and bubbling cauldron, its disturbances must lead to the emergence of effects whose causes and origins are unknown and mysterious. It felt like they feared they couldn’t control the priestesses and so it no longer was safe to manifest in that way. The priests, however, were allowed as the masculine projection and protection of the divine unknown. They were controllable as they were given to control, as the masculine does seek control. The feminine does not control but allows and so is given to allow the deeper realities to emerge. This they feared and so ended the Divine Priestesshood in the destruction and violence born of their fear. They did not allow what they could not allow.

by Monica