By Kiara Windrider and Barry Martin
October 20, 2001

The past few weeks have surely been a wake-up call.  Like many of you, we have been inundated with emails from so many people struggling to make sense out of these events, so many going through the entire spectrum of human emotions, so many holding out a beautiful vision of new possibilities of rebirth and transformation.  We too have felt at times to make our voices heard, presumably voices of sanity in an insane world.  Or is it that the insanity is simply being driven up from the shadows, magnified so we can resolve it?

For ourselves, as we take time to reflect back on these days, there is a realization that much of our writings have come from a place where we have felt "driven" to write.  Searching deeper, this driven-ness seems to arise from  a deep feeling of not being safe, from the fear that we have lost control of our own lives, from the fear that something or someone bigger than ourselves can determine our destiny, and the ultimate fear, the one that drives so much of our human behavior - the fear of ceasing to exist. And so we fight, attempting to regain control in a myriad of ways.

In our conversation together we realized that we have become polarized in our own way. We have been attacked in a place deep within our psyche, and our fear imprints got triggered in response.   Yes, we worry about the possibilities of moving towards a global war with grievous consequences for many, and we worry that the agenda for a planetary awakening or rebirth may be in jeopardy.  These fears may be real, yet where do these fears arise?

Somehow beneath all this there is the assumption that what happened on September 11 was "bad".  We assume that what is "good" would be to undo this somehow.  We assume that if there is the possibility of war to follow that it would undermine the possibility of peace.  We assume that we in our own vision of truth must overcome the dark clouds of a lesser untruth.  We assume our own truths to be self-evident.  How else could a sane person define reality?  How else could God respond?

Would our responses change if we truly felt that there is only God, and that there is nothing but God? Even when we, as individuated aspects of God, forget who we are, and in the forgetting create chaos and distortion, are we not still held in the divine, still part of the dance of God?  This is how God awakens in form, realizing Itself in often disturbing and discordant

"Jai mahamaya ki jai", say the yogis, "hail to the great play of life"!  In our delicate humanness we are programmed to avoid extinction of life, and so we go into fear. This is not "bad" or wrong either.  If this is the basis for our behavior, however, then the cycle of fear, characterized by defense and attack, continues.  This is the core basis for the separated egoic
condition, the basis for what motivated the terrorists, and to some degree what motivates those who seek to retaliate and punish. In God there is no polarity between good and evil, and therefore all things are an opportunity for grace.

We have talked about standing at the threshold of a planetary initiation. As we look at the life of one of the greatest initiates who ever lived, Jesus, we observe how he embraced his own death, knowing that this death was only an illusion.  As  he walked through the gates of illusion with a steady heart, he was enabled to overcome the cellular programming of survival fear, and move into his own resurrection and ascension.  Could it be that part of the doorway we face is to go beyond acting out of fear and separation, even the fear of death, and to transcend the illusion of death entirely?

What seems to be coming up for the two of us at this time is a deeper need to examine our own responses to the current crisis.   If we are truly on the verge of a planetary awakening or initiation, this demands responses from us

that are outside of our familiar boundaries of reality.  How do we reverse the deep programming locked into our very cells, the fear of extinction?  Is this fear of extinction perhaps the basis for our separated egos and all the violence they create?  And as we allow for the possibility that all of this is "good", simply God evolving and awakening in all of Its myriad individuated aspects, may we perhaps move through our own doorway of initiation, going beyond subtle distinctions of polarity/duality into our own experience of resurrection and ascension?  Is this perhaps how unity consciousness will be birthed in the mass consciousness of humanity?

These are the questions that come up for us.  We share this because our process does not seem to be different from what many around the world are now experiencing, and perhaps we can help each other clarify what this process of initiation means.  Although many have experiencing these initiations individually, this is perhaps the first time we are undergoing
this level of initiation as a planetary collective.

Perhaps none of this will change what we are doing on the outer levels. But it may change why we do it.

(Kiara Windrider is author of "Doorway to Eternity", available through Barry Martin is author of "The Time Spiral", accessible through

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