10-1-00 - DREAM - I was looking at a sheet of paper that was written on both sides.

This was a list of paragraphs about groups of people. I noticed after I looked at both sides of the paper that part of each groups name could be circled and became 'Light Mission'.

It seems that the back side of the paper was 'dark light' and that the front side was of the 'white light'. I can't be sure of that though.

I dreamed this for a long time and I don't know why, and each time I woke up during the night, the words, "Light Mission' came back into my head so I wouldn't forget.


10-1-00 - DREAM - I must have been somewhere in Milwaukee. My job was as apartment manager. My boss was Ralph and one of the maintenance men was Brian. Ralph was also playing a dual role as attorney. (The name Ralph means Red wolf)

For some reason Brian was on trial.

I had a nagging thought in my head that the Brian who was on trial wasn't the real Brian. (The name Brian means strong)

I remembered that Brian was one of twins and the original Brian I knew well was mild mannered, polite, courteous, and kind.  This Brian was loud, boisterous, uncouth, and egotistic. This troubled me.

I wanted to tell Ralph about my suspicions, but getting him alone was a problem. He was never alone. He asked me to do something for him and I went willingly because I wanted to tell him my suspicions, but he never gave me an opportunity to speak in private.

After some time went by, I finally got Ralph alone and told him that I thought I could help him win his case because I knew something that he didn't.  His answer was, "Hmmm! I forgot that I can use outside people in this case. I can go back as far as the Grandmothers."

He walked away before I had the opportunity to tell him what I suspected again.

I tried again to tell someone what I suspected and went to a hospital room with a gift of a Pointsettia plant. Inside the room was Lindsey from One Life to Live and her son ________.  (Lindsey means 'from the linden tree island)

Off to the side was my friend Irv who didn't seem to have anything to do with Lindsey and her son, but had a little office set up on the side. One pile of papers was about people who hadn't paid their rent. The name on top was Linda. I knew Linda and I knew that she had paid her rent, so I told him so. Irv also had a stack of business cards in his hand. The one on top was for a 'Light Mission' of some kind.

I knew I couldn't tell these people of my suspicions. It would only do any good if I told Ralph because he was the attorney.

I went back home and picked up my baby. He was so beautiful. But, when I picked him up and looked at his face and saw that he had the dark skin of a Hindu, I knew he would never be accepted by people like Ralph and Brian who had white skin.  

That didn't make my baby any less beautiful. It was just that he wouldn't be accepted as beautiful by white men. That made me feel a little depressed because I couldn't even show off my baby.


On March 14, 1941, Mary Celeste Francis, a nun, confessed to something she didn't do so another person could go free

Thereafter, people from all over the world looked upon her as the one instead of the true guilty one.


10-2-00 - VISION - I saw the words:  'Think Ptaah!"  "Jmason4557's Light!"


10-2-00 - DREAM - I typed in the names 'Mary Celeste Francis' into a search engine and several web pages came up.

I was in an office where there was a woman who was considered to be an ogre of sorts. Nobody liked her attitude. I got along with her fine because I always thought to myself, "Consider the source".

I went into the basement to finish the laundry. I put in the  delicate things, and saw that there were some hangars in the machine also, some of the clothes were still hanging on them. I removed the hangars. I checked the dryer and found that my robe and some other things weren't quite dry yet.

I remember a woman coming into the basement where I was working on the laundry. I can't remember what she said though.


10-3-00 - DREAM - I worked all night on a computer on a new web page about the God P'taah.  In the beginning the page was just words of the history of the God. Then I put in a light blue background. Then I started putting emphasis in with little pictures of white puffy clouds.  I worked on this what seemed like many hours.

NOTE: See the page I did  P'TAAH


10-3-00 - DREAM  - I was in my apartment. I had just come home from work and planned to go on vacation. I had no destination in mind, just wanted to get out and feel free. Meanwhile I was putting things where they belonged, such as putting away stacks of magazines. I took the magazines from the livingroom and stashed them on closet shelves.

I got a phone call from my ex-husband Ed from prison. He wanted to know if I could find out what State a particular pizza place was in from a list of pizzas he gave me. The first one was Spinach pizza. I didn't hear anything in particular that would give it away, but it seemed that with the variety of pizzas that it was probably a large pizza parlor chain. I told him I would try to find out, but after a bit I started to wonder if it was worth it. Meanwhile I was looking for the phone numbers of pizza parlors to ask if they served these kinds of pizza.

I then discovered I didn't live alone. One of the rooms was being used by one of the kids that worked for me as a maintenance man. His name was Michael. (We called him Mike) He was dressed all in dark blue.

Then I discovered that there was a room across the hall that was like a small dining hall and had a pin ball machine in it. The machine consisted of little mechanical people which ran across the screen in the back, and the person playing tried to knock the little people down with metal balls as they ran.  I watched for a bit, then commented to the others watching ... gee, we could make a lot of money if we filled this room up with these machines. Think of all the quarters we would take in.

I started to get ready to leave on my vacation. My son Ken was going to drive. I had to find a more comfortable pair of shoes. The first pair I found belonged to my son Ken and were too small to me though they were white tennis shoes. I figured my shoes were probably in the closet. I didn't want to wear the high heeled shoes I was wearing while on vacation.

I was thinking about where we should go and I started to think that we should just get in the car, start out on the highway and see where it took us. Then when we were half way to the end of the vacation time, wherever we were, we could turn around the go back. I was thinking it would be cool if we ended up in Las Vegas and maybe get married while I was there.

But my son Ken came in and he was driving. He started to talk about driving and he started making disparaging comments about driving in Las Vegas and I knew I wasn't going to end up there.


10-4-00 - I can't remember my dreams in total, but the last little bit had a heavy Hindu influence again. I was showing the landlord of my apartment building that the couple in the apartment across the hall from mine needed a deadbolt on their door, and when we opened the door I had a flash vision of symbols that were like spirals coming down from above.

When I looked at their door opening, there wasn't even a frame on the door so carpenter work needed to be done before a deadbolt would have even done any good for them.


10-5-00 - DREAM - I spent a long time looking at a computer web page, seemingly reading the html side of the page, so I could see that there were choices that could be made. The page had more than one topic that could be chosen by the reader.


10-5-00 - DREAM - I was living with my family somewhere. It seemed that even the outside was indoors with a ceiling on it. My sons were all in their late teens.

Both ex-husbands were in the house.  Ed had come there and was let in, but after he went to bed, I discovered a small rug on the floor which had been vomited on and I knew that Ed was drinking. I told Jim that I wanted him 'gone'.  Jim reminded me that Ed was sleeping. I told him that as soon as he woke up, I wanted him removed from the house.  I wouldn't allow a drunk to live with me.

My son Ken was laying in bed sleeping so I had to wake him up. He then drove me somewhere. I could see the color of the hood of the car through the windshield. It was white.

The road had been regraded, but not finished off, so we were driving through a lot of loose sand. Where the road ended, was a long table full of plants which I had to move out of the way so we could continue, but I also had to repot the plants as they were growing really fast.

Later, back at home, it seemed that there was a blizzard blowing past the window, but when we looked closer from a different perspective, the windows were wide open and there wasn't even a breeze blowing through the room and it was a perfectly clear night outside. I was very puzzled how this could be possible.

I had to do laundry, because that nasty rug had to be washed, or else I would have to throw it away. We could live without it.

A new law manual arrived. The gun laws were printed on pink paper and the car laws were printed on white paper. They were also separate so we set the gun laws aside while we studied the car laws. Each one of us were studying the car laws and each one of us was marking the book in a different way so we could see how far we had studied the manual.

The laws were also shown on TV, and that was on also.

The dream didn't seem to have an end, I just woke up.


10-5-00 - MEDITATION: I was puzzled because I couldn't find anything historical on P'Taah in my research, so I lay down to meditate on that.

I saw a line of text that said, "Ptah was King of Egypt", then I saw "Obedience! P'Taah!"

I got up and went back to the computer. I then discovered that Ptah was indeed King of Egypt, and P'Taah was a Pleiadian ET. They are not the same person.  That bit of knowledge stunned me. I had never looked up with person before so I didn't know that. I wonder if others also don't know this.

I'm just as confused as ever though, because I don't know which one I'm supposed to be researching. Each one is a whole different topic.


I hate stupid dreams and this one really takes the cake.  This one started out because I heard a mosquito fly by my ear and I rather freaked out and hid under the sheet. I couldn't breathe after a couple minutes and just let my face show enough so I could breathe. It seems like I passed out because I fell asleep so fast.

10-6-00 - DREAM - I was on a city street with a lot of other people. A guy came by with a spray can of something. I grabbed it away from him so he couldn't spray anyone, then people were wary of me instead because they thought I would spray them.

My old friend Irv showed up to drive me home, but he backed the car up so far, he almost hit some people crossing a parking lot. Then, right in front of us, a mother and her kids stood on their porch with electric lights in their hands and jumped up and down, cheering.

I decided to walk across the parking lot, and at first I could see where I was headed, but then I looked down at my feet, and all I could see was the black parking lot close up and nothing else. I watched my feet move forward as I walked, just seeing the pitch black asphalt. Finally, I could look up again just as I arrived at the far end of the parking lot.

Now, I was in a building and had a baby with me in a sling thingy that they sell. I also had a bicycle and I was trying to get on the bicycle with the baby in the sling and it wasn't working very well. Finally, a woman and her son decided they would take care of the baby so I could go home.

By then, I had decided to just walk around the back end of the building and went out into the dark yard and across the way. I went around the back of the building and a guard was standing there. He buzzed me into the building like he knew who I was. However, once inside, I had to go through another buzzed in type door so I knew that too many people had seen me come in, so I could hardly go this way again later. Once was all I could get away with this.

I went to sit down at a computer and a screen came up that had some rules on it. The font type was a brilliant black, not just plain black, and I decided to print them out. I reached for the 'print screen' key and just as I hit it, the words, "DO NOT COPY THIS" flashed on the screen. I swore and said,  "Damn!" so I couldn't print out the rules. I couldn't read them either, so I don't know what they were.

I woke up then, feeling really frustrated.


This started out as another stupid dream, but when I was thinking about the dream later, something astounding happened.  see:

10-6-00 - DREAM - I was in a house somewhere that was really messy. Toys were everywhere on the floors and things were just basically strewn around.  I decided I would clean the house inch by inch starting at the front door in case visitors came.

However, I got interrupted by a phone call.  A woman started a conversation like I was a search service. She needed the phone number of two other people.  I went to the pile where the phone books were supposed to be and they weren't there. So, I put the phone down and went looking for a phone book. I looked and looked and couldn't find one. Finally, I gave up and went back to the phone to tell the woman I couldn't find the phone book. The woman was gone. I didn't blame her. I was gone quite some time.

I don't recall any other people there, but I was presented with a paper plate which had some corn on it, cut from the cob. I was supposed to look at it and see how the quality was.  It looked pretty good to me.

On the same paper plate, where the corn was on the upper half of the plate, a black box appeared which had the word 'BLASTCHIDITIS' or something like that. I wasn't quite certain of the word.

Below the black box was a selection of peas which were arranged in size with the largest towards the black box and the corn with the smallest towards the bottom edge of the plate. I was told that the peas had some kind of disease in the shell.  

I was then shown the shell which when popped open, the peas in the pod had some kind of slimy clear substance around them. The peas themselves looked okay, but the slimy stuff was not good for us. I looked at a bunch of these pea pods and they were all similar with the slimy stuff inside. We were not supposed to eat these.

NOTE:  At this point I woke up because the alarm went off and Joe got up to go to work. I forgot the dream basically, but was trying to remember what the word in the black box was and what it meant.

After Joe left the room and turned off the light, the dream started to come back into my memory rather like a long vision. I again saw the plate with the corn and peas on it, but the box was missing.  It was the word I was trying to think of.  

Suddenly, I was looking at a computer screen, and an invoice popped up from below like it had been a page that was minimized and went down to the bottom of the screen.  Here again was the word, which I think was spelled 'BLASTCHIDITIS'.  

Then a movie screen popped up on top of the computer screen and Nancy Reagan and Ronald Reagan were standing there. Ronald Reagan had a long pointer stick in his hand and was pointing to a chart on the wall behind them like he was demonstrating something for the world to look at.

Then in front of the movie screen appeared a clear portrait picture of Nancy Reagan ... which was wider than high, like a wide movie screen picture ... underneath her face was the word 'HUNGRIER'.

The end.


10-7-00 - DREAM - I was dreaming of a computer page on which there were 56 negative people.


10-7-00 - DREAM - I was dreaming of a computer page on which every fifth person was the leader of 5 negative people.


10-7-00 - DREAM - I was riding in a car with a man ... either my brother or my husband. We stopped to get something to eat from a small shop next to the highway.

He said he didn't have any money with him. I thought I had $20 in my little coin purse.  I opened up a small round coin purse and looked inside. I thought there was $20 in it, but if it was there, it was under the coins of which there were many. I just had to trust that it was there.

I got out of the car and started to go up the stairs to the shop. I was wearing brown strap sandals and got my foot caught on the loose cement blocks that made up the steps. I had to be very careful not to fall.  I called my husband/brother to come and help me.

We got inside the shop which was like going into someone's bright kitchen.  There was nobody inside except an old woman and her younger helper. It must have been near the end of the day because she didn't have much to serve there.

I rather got close to the woman to befriend her and asked her if she had a fish pattie rather than ask for a fish burger because I didn't want the bread part. She said she didn't. I was trying to think what else she might have when a whole bunch of people came in and lined up to our left.

I felt very intimidated that there were so many people to serve and I couldn't make up my mind what I wanted. I finally decided I wouldn't buy anything so she could serve the others and left with nothing.


10-8-00 - DREAM - I was living in a city, in a downtown area, but off the beaten track, more like in a slum-like area. I had a large store or shop which many people came through. It wasn't a restaurant but I had kitchen facilities and lots of people came in to visit that I knew.

Joe's son T.J. came in on a Friday night and I overheard him say to another girl there that he was going to order soup el monde at the restaurant they were going to. (or a term that meant that there was raw fish in it)

A few minutes later, he showed me the contents of his wallet and asked me what a bankcard is.  I told him it was one of those blue plastic cards that allowed you to go into a bank or an ATM and get cash. He showed me that he had a couple cards, larger than a bankcard from AT &T that allowed him a few free minutes on the phone and a discount of 15% on something he would buy in the future. I did see that he had a white bankcard with gold print on it that was a Mastercard. I told him that that was a bankcard but that he should try to get another one if he could. (This card he had could have a double meaning)

Some time must have gone by because it was now daytime and I was outside in the street and came across several Vietnamese women who were so wrinkled and shaking, they resembled 'bloodhounds'. It appeared that they were drug addicts, perhaps on heroine. I felt really sorry for them. I wasn't going to give them any money, but I thought they might feel better if they ate something and got some nourishment in them.

There was another woman standing nearby who was also concerned. I remember seeing her before, an Italian or Spanish woman, but at the moment I can't place her but it probably was on television. She lived across the street on a diagonal from were I was living.

Again T.J. came by and he said he was feeling really ill. He had eaten some soup 'el monde'. He vowed he never would again.

I went into my shop to see what I could feed the women. I had had some chili and thought there might be some leftover, but there wasn't. but I found a peach pie in the refrigerator that only one slice was missing from.

So, I grabbed the peach pie and then looked for some forks the women could use. I ended up with a whole handful of mis-matched utensils and weeded out the ones they couldn't use to eat with like the knives, and pickle forks, etc. and ended up with 4 gold forks.

I ran outside with the pie and the women were gone. I asked around and was told that the other woman had taken the shaking Vietnamese women to her house to feed them.

I was heartsick. I wanted to feed them too. I was afraid that the women might try to steal from the other woman at the same time.

I ran across the street and discovered that the Italian/Spanish woman was sitting on the inside steps leading to the basement. The door to the street was open so they were sheltered but not actually in her house.

The woman had heated up some leftover chili for them like I had intended, so they were eating that.  I offered them all the pie, including the Italian/Spanish woman, then went outside again.

Outside I found that the Italian/Spanish woman had a fruit stand and all the fruit was drying out and wrinkled and she couldn't sell it if she wanted to. I proceeded to help her out by taking the dishes home to wash them and found that she had laundry that needed to be done, so took the dirty pastel towels to wash as well.

I gathered all this together and headed for the laundromat which was next to my own shop. I saw that all new glassplate windows had been installed in the laundromat. It looked really nice.

I then met a policeman on his beat and he said he had seen the drug addicted women and was going to try to find a treatment center that would take them in. He said he didn't have any reason to arrest them because they weren't criminals for using the drugs. I asked him if it was okay to feed them meanwhile and he said that it was.


10-9-00 - DREAM - I was seeing what probably was a computer screen with links to Indian sites, but when I woke up, I could only remember the color background which was like pale yellow bricks with light blue edges.  It had a nice feeling about it, but I don't know what the topic was.  It rather faded out as I woke up like I wasn't supposed to know, just 'feel'.


10-9-00 -  I'd like to call this dream 'LIVING IN QUIET DESPERATION'.

I moved in with some young professional people in an elegant apartment building in a downtown area. I get the feeling it was a northern city because they wore heavy winter coats so it was cold outside, but not snowy.

In the hallway of the apartment building, the walls and doors were all white. It was even hard to tell which apartment was which. I didn't see any numbers on the doors.

When I arrived Bonnie and her daughters were knocking on the door of the apartment they thought was the manager. They were at the wrong door however.

There seemed to be day manager and a night manager. The night manager lived in the apartment next to mine. I rather felt like I was the day manager, but I did something else during the night. I also had an outside job elsewhere.

I brought a gift to the night manager. Her apartment was right next to mine. This gift was like a wall hanging of a Spanish woman. When I started out, it seemed to be about 3 feet tall, like a Spanish dancing woman, with a long gown and fancy headpiece.  The weird thing about this was that the backing of the wall hanging seemed to be a big piece of 'baloney'... must be a metaphor there.  

The woman accepted the gift and hung it on the center of the wall in her diningroom where she had a huge flower and fruit basket wall hanging. She was really happy with the gift. Her husband was in another room just getting ready for work.

I then moved in with the people I was living with. These were all professionals who had busy day jobs. I don't know what they did, I was experiencing how they spent their evenings and mornings, coming home from work, and getting ready for work.

Though the hallways were all white, inside the apartments, each of which must have been between 2,000 to 3,000 square feet like large houses, they were arranged strangely.  When you first came into the apartment, it felt like a normal single apartment and you entered a large livingroom.   Back further in the apartment was a large galley-type kitchen. These were not the dinky little galley kitchens of most apartments. These had huge wooden oak cabinets, large tables with chairs, stools along the counters.  However, I also saw a huge professional cook's kitchen off to the side which my friend Kimber was working in.  In that kitchen were stoves large enough to cook in like a restaurant and here everything was white.

Back further, were the bedrooms. The single men seemed to have normal size bedrooms, but there were also humongous master bedrooms for married people. The single men's apartments were normal size like you would see in any apartment. The master bedrooms were not only huge, they had colored walls like federal blue or a rich green color with gold appointments everywhere on the furniture and rich looking bedding on King size beds. I would call them elegant.

The odd thing about the apartments, even though they had individual doors on the hallway and the bedrooms were individual, there was like a secondary corridor through the center of the apartments, so you could walk from your galley kitchen to a formal diningroom on either side, and continue on through the apartments, like galley kitchen, diningroom, galley kitchen, diningroom, etc. on down the line all the way along the building.  From these kitchen pass-throughs, you could get to anyone elses livingrooms or bedrooms.  

All these people knew each other and went from apartment to apartment if they desired to, though they led separate lives as well. The bedrooms all had doors on them, so they were private when necessary.

Some of the single men were quite messy, so when they got up for work in the morning, they dragged themselves out of bed, just barely in time to grab something to eat, throw on their clothes and comb their hair, etc, and walk out the door. They left behind them all kinds of trash laying on the floor, beds unmade, a general mess.

I was getting ready for work as well, and started out in plenty of time, but I didn't like walking over their trash and the kitchen had a broken bag of garbage on the floor with coffee grounds and leftover half eaten sandwiches with ham slices laying in the coffee grounds. I couldn't stand the mess, so I was picking up trash and the garbage as I went about getting ready for work.

Our galley kitchen where I was staying had a carton of silver foil that would last a normal person several years, but these people seemed to use it liberally to wrap all their garbage in. There was a special brown bin which stored the garbage until one filled it, then it got tossed down a chute to a lower level. So I picked up the garbage, wrapped it in the foil, and put it in the brown bin. The other woman showed me where it would ultimately be dumped.

All of the women in these apartments had wigs to wear. Mine was a large fluffy brown mop of curls. The other women had brown, red, blonde, whatever they felt in the mood for if they didn't feel like curling their own hair. I stood there watching them blowdrying their hair, trying to decide whether to wear their wig or not.

Bonnie, who lived in the next apartment with her family was wearing an elegant dressing gown that looked like it was made of satin. It was a pretty shade of blue with a gold design on it. It didn't appear she was going to work, and was going into the next apartment to tease someone or play a joke on them. She looked really beautiful though with her dark haired wig on that was similar to mine.

I spent so much time picking up the trash and garbage of the single men, I noted on the clock that it was now twenty minutes to 9 and I had to be at work at 9, so I had to hurry and get dressed and get my own wig on.

I was driven to work by a huge man, wearing a heavy black tweed winter coat. The inside of the car felt like a Cadillac, Lincoln, or a Lexus, elegant but small so that the man, when he drove, sat like in the center of the front seat.  I sat on the right side, and had a seat belt on, but actually was sitting behind the man's right arm. That's how huge he was.  I keep thinking he was like Al Roker (from the TV weather show). (I'm not sure what station)  I told him as we were driving along, "I feel really safe driving with you."  If we would have had an accident, seat belt or not, I wouldn't have gotten hurt because I was pinned into my seat behind his huge arm.  

The last scene, seemed to be back in the apartment though and I saw a stack of newspapers, and saw the headline on the top. It said, "KINDLY LOOK AT THE BLUES".


10-10-00 - This was an all Indian night.

I was jolted out of my own dream when Joe started chanting like an Indian again. I don't know why this scares me, but his whole voice, demeanor and seeming symbology of his speech is frightening like he is in a war-mode or something.  When his chanting went back down to a mumble, I poked him and woke him up, I asked him what he was dreaming.  He said he was in a school, walking down a hallway where other people were looking for someone.  Later, when he woke up in the morning, he had no recall of the dream at all.

This was the clearest and loudest word he said, " Ka - Kay - yah"  phonetically spelled.

As soon as he fell asleep again, he was whispering in Indian, but it was more mumbled so I couldn't understand it.

I then started having my own Indian dreams and visions.

Immediately after he mumbled the Indian words, I had a vision of a sign with two words on it, "Asteyal' and 'Pahte' (The spelling is probably off) I immediately then had a vision of          two little girls, and one girl said the word , "As - tey - ahl" very loudly.  The other word was pronounced, 'Pay tah'.

I then had a dream vision type thing where I saw a tall white-light-being standing off to the left and I was told that I spend all my time working on the web pages of my web site on the computer and not working on the Native American work. I can't remember the details of the dream beyond that.  It didn't seem to have any activity, just a large black and white picture of being admonished for not doing my work. At that point, I didn't realize that the Native American pages are also web pages ... they seemed to have a larger meaning overall.

I remembered just one word from this dream/vision. The word was Cachinga. I had no idea what that was.  I looked it up on the internet. A Cachinga is a female Caracal. A Caracal is a cat... specifically a Desert Lynx.  Interestingly enough, a friend of mine uses the word Lynx to mean links  when he wants to let me know there are links in his e-mail. I thought that was pretty cool.

I then had another dream in which I was visited by two little boys and I told them all about the above. I made it sound mysterious and strange so they would think I was one old strange woman. In this dream I had a cardboard box with things in it like CDs and other material I used to teach classes with. The young man who was on the CD came into the room and saw the CD and commented on it. He was taller than I. He saw the CD in the box and asked me why I had it. I told him I used it to teach my church class because he was rather insinuating that I was stealing it.

I got up and went to the bathroom and came back to bed. I then had a vision of a piece of cardboard which was given to me by someone's hand. It was about 2" high by 4" wide, brown like a piece of cardboard. It was written on in red ink. It said, "Hello!  A long word written in Native American language starting with the letter K. It then said, 'I am your newspaper delivery man and I want to thank you for being one of my customers' (or something to that effect). I was rather freaked out by this because it appeared so suddenly after I closed my eyes when I came back from the bathroom.


10-11-00 - I dreamed all night about a computer page about the 'truth' about ETs. It started while Leo Sprinkle was on the radio, a UFO researcher, but even after I turned the radio off, it continued.

10-11-00 - My girlfriend had a dream with me in it. This is a link to it:


10-11-00 - MEDITATION: I was seeing people talk to me. A chubby blonde woman came to visit and she brought her little girl who needed some advice. I don't recall what was said, only their faces.  Very nice people.


10-13-00 - DREAM - I was working on a computer and the screen was white with flowers on it, but I don't remember the topic.

DREAM - For a long time, I was watching a scrolling dark gray screen with typing I had done at least 6 months ago. It was a list of steps necessary leading to WAR. It was scrolling down and was almost to the end and it stopped scrolling.  I noticed that there was one misspelled word  'Forom'.  It was supposed to be  'FROM'. I thought I would correct the word, but then had second thoughts about it because it might make the paper finish scrolling and I was scared to find out what would happen after that.  As long as it wasn't scrolling war couldn't come.

I woke up, got up and went to the bathroom, then came back to bed and lay there for a few minutes waiting to go back to sleep.

I then saw the computer screen again. The word From was now corrected, the paper changed from dark gray to red, white, and blue, and a large white box in the center had the word PERMIT in it, and the page started scrolling to the end.  All the steps had now been done for WAR to start.


10-13-00 - DREAM - I was with a blonde woman and her husband. She had a blue catalog and handed it to me. Inside, was three sections. The first section was all printed material with regular sized paper and I flipped past that. The second section was a perfume catalog.  This was more interesting. Everyone likes perfume and test the samples. On the first page, was a collection of beautiful rose-pink bottles of lotions, perfumes, etc. I really wanted those.  

I saw that the catalog was a foldout type like a string of postcards, but thinner paper.  The front side was all different types of perfume, but I saw there was a backside to these papers too, and one would have to fold the catalog all the way out and flip it over in order to see what was on the backside of the pages.  It would be really difficult to get that far in the catalog to see that part.

Then there was a third section to the catalog. One had to go through all the perfume pages before one could look at what was in the third section which was also arranged like a string of foldout type postcards.  How would anyone get that far with all the perfume samples to choose from first?

Interpretation:  From J.  10-15-00

Hi Dee, you know how much I love dream interpretation and could not pass this one up. Several things are striking:

1) postcards strung is being strung along

2) the color pink representing love and gold the unconditional love: the outer packaging is attractive to the naked eye yet is something hidden behind the pretty package ?

3) the fragrances....there is much to be said for aromatherapy and we are drawn to certain this is one way to get your attention to the material and you are so taken by that. The information on the back of the postcards is forgotten about and yet you are hooked.

One of the recurring patterns I am seeing with Anna's messages (also shown in this dream) is the secrecy of it all. If we are to free ourselves, we have to expose all as half truths will not work. In addition, the message that comes forth is one of worthiness - some being worthy whereas others are not.

10-13-00 - DREAM - I was working in an office in a large building. I had so much work to do, it wasn't funny. I also felt that I hadn't finished something important ... that perhaps there were purchase orders in a drawer that I hadn't typed and sent out.  Too, I suspected that my boss was sitting on more purchase orders and was waiting too long to give them to me to type and would expect them all to be done at the last minute.

An outside contractor came in.  This was an engineer and he had been given permission to look through all our files and blueprints to work on a special project.

The boss was gone and all my attention was now on making sure my work was done and clean up the floor and make sure everything was completed for the week.  It was almost noon on Friday, and almost time for the Christmas break. So everything had to be done.

The engineer contractor set up his own computer which was different than anything I had ever seen. The case was black with red print on it, and little red lights on it. The case was also more flat ... similar to a VCR type case and had an opening in the front where the software went in. I didn't see a screen on it. It was more like a copier that I could tell, whatever you put in, you also got out only in duplicate.

The engineer was trying to find some specific records of work that had already been done.  Our company was really old and there were numerous cabinets full of old records. But our particular Compressor department only had two cabinets. Four drawers on the left cabinet marked 'A' and 1 open drawer like a shelf in the right cabinet, marked 'B'.  

I pointed out to the engineer where to look and he found a large blueprint folder in the 'B' shelf that was what he was looking for. He got a brilliant smile on his face as he removed the file and took it to his section of the office to work on the problem he had come to solve.

While he started working I went through all the stuff I had next to my desk on the floor which I thought was work I still had to do. There I found bread, cheese, sausage, but not work to do, so I was really done. I finished cleaning this up and got up from my desk and went to the front lobby. In the front lobby was a decorated and lighted Christmas tree, and I saw that there were two coat hangars on the floor, a plastic one and a metal one and several pencils. I picked those up at the same time a black woman came in off the street and tried to use the elevator.

I knew the elevator was not working and the elevator operator/repairman had gone home for the day already. She started to complain that she couldn't use the elevator and threatened to tell someone about it. I knew it was useless to complain.  She would just have to walk up the stairs like everyone else.

I went back to my office where I discovered that numerous dark-suited men were now sitting in the office. I opened the door and recognized some of the men as men I had worked with in the engineering offices prior in my life, but not all of them. Some were strangers to me.

The engineer said to me, "Don't you work for ... and named the President of the Company?"  He said the name and the names were long.  It wasn't Clinton or Bush or Gore. I think the initials were E.M.  He said it like the men had told him the name and he was angry about it.  I said, "I work for him indirectly ... there are many bosses between me and him."   That seemed to satisfy him.

Then he complained that his software wouldn't load so he couldn't work on the blueprints he needed to work on. With all the men sitting around behind me, I went over to where his computer was and said, "Let me fix it for you."  I saw then, but hadn't realized earlier, that he was sitting on a pillow on the floor instead of a chair which was standing right there. There was a wooden chair with a red leather seat on it right in front of him which he could have used.  The computer was also sitting on the floor, so sitting on a chair would be inconvenient to use.

So, I moved the blueprint file and his other work and sat down on the pillow. Before I could even begin to load his software, I had to sort out the stuff he had been already working on.  On top of the computer was an assortment of see-thru paper holders, yellow on top and plain clear under them. Here I found old long grocery lists from the store stuffed in.  On the left where the printer was, I saw that he had started to print but the paper was weird. It started out as regular size sheets of paper, but the paper was shrinking down toward the end of the paper and hard to read.  It seemed to be more of a printer problem than a computer problem.

I looked closer at the paper he was using to print on and it was toilet paper.  I looked at him, and his skin was now Arab colored rather than the white skin he had earlier.  I laughed at him and popped him on the elbow with the back of my left hand and said, "You are printing on toilet paper!!!!!!!"   He looked rather sheepish at me and embarrassed.  He didn't seem to realize that what you put in is what you get out, but you still can't use toilet paper to print on.



#1 - a web page with the number 52 referenced
#2 - a web page with the number 170 referenced
#3 - a web page with a list of books. The only one I can remember is "The Devil's Mask".  

NOTE: I looked up the name of the book and it was made into a film which was about shrunken human heads found in a plane crash, about hypnotism and a walking corpse.

I received this in a coincidental e-mail the same day:

"The "number" of the kalki avatar...the second coming...would be 17 X 10, as He is the tenth and FINAL avatar, in the series of THIS Racial high school's curriculum-years...then it is off to College, for us all! 170


19-15-00 - DREAM - I was in a large place like a warehouse, yet it was divided into sections and had a huge kitchen.  It also had a bedroom and livingroom. In the kitchen was a large marker board or something where a menu was displayed. In one of spaces, of which there were 12 - in 3 rows of four, was written the words ' 1st sign of the end'. It was so outstandingly out of place, yet nobody noticed it but me until I told the others about it.

My cousin Shirley came to visit, and there was an old sick woman laying in the bed. Shirley was sitting on the floor or on a really low couch. I felt I had to serve some kind of beverage. All the bottles were on the floor and nothing was chilled. I was embarrassed to serve warm beer, though some of the bottles were cooler than others depending on where they were standing. I also had juice, water, and a tall bottle of wine.

My cousin Shirley chose the wine, which made me glad because that didn't matter if it was chilled.

The details of the kitchen scene have slipped away but there was discussion over the appearance of the sign of the end and it's placement on the menu board. To me it was rather ominous ... to others, they didn't even take notice of it.


10-16-00 - DREAM - I was in the country on 172nd St. in New Berlin with my daughter-in-law Lorna. We were hauling a wheelbarrow or something like it full of plants and seeds to replant them in the field to the East.  We both had to walk carefully backwards because the load was so heavy and we didn't want to drop anything.  We were both barefoot, and we had to walk through an area that had rose bushes cut back and we were pricking out ankles on the thorns.  I thought to myself, Gee! I should have been wearing shoes....

Scene change or new dream. I was renting apartments in a big building in the city.  I was talking on the phone to a woman. I can't remember the conversation. But then I went down to the basement and opened the garage door. There stood the same woman, a short dark haired person. She said, "We've been ringing the doorbell and there was no answer, so we figured you were here somewhere."  She brought in an older white haired woman and her husband who wanted to rent an apartment for their daughter who was not with them at the moment.

We went upstairs and I showed them a large two bedroom apartment that faced south.  It was dark outside so they couldn't see the view. Another woman was with us who had to go to the bathroom. This apartment had three bathrooms, so I told the woman to use one that was off the bedroom.  She went into the bathroom and the rest of us continued our conversation.

The man was complaining that this apartment was really more than what his daughter needed and that he was already paying rent on two apartments and the rent on a third apartment would really stretch his budget more than he wanted.  

I told him that I had another apartment on the corner of the building which faced both East and south that he might like better. Meanwhile we had to wait for the woman who was in the bathroom.

The small dark-haired woman decided to show me a sewing project she was working on. This was a kit she bought at Blockbusters. She emphasized this twice to me.  The material was darker tan ... like the color of burlap, but was finely woven.  It was sewn together in 4 panels as I saw on the backside ... the threads were fine and closely sewn also.

She then showed me the front side which was of a war-dancing Indian with full feathered regalia.  It was a hoop dance of some kind. I'm thinking it's Hopi but I can't be certain of that.  She had already done part of the project which was in the background. The color was pale rainbow colors sewn in one long thread. I can't think what the thread is called ... It reminds me of a feather boa, but very delicate, with puffs of feathers along the thread that one would tack down with another thread ... rather like you would affix rickrack to another piece of material.  She was now working on a long piece of black feathered thread just like the rainbow colored thread that she had already finished.  The black was ebony black and was shiny ... not dull.  

I took one look at this project and knew I had to have one of my own just like it.  She said, "You can do this. I got it at Blockbusters!"

There was a scene change or this is another dream.

I was in a car with my husband, driving south on 172nd St. in New Berlin.  Ahead of us in the sky was a small plane flying low .. like a Piper Cub.  As it flew over, it emitted a dark spay of exhaust or something which formed a dark cloud that slowly drifted downward.

We slowed our car so that when the dark cloud came down to ground level, it was just past us to the west and we didn't drive through it and breathe that exhaust.

Again, another plane came over and did the same thing.  Again, the dark cloud came down just to the west of the road and missed us again.

Then a third plane came over and started spraying the exhaust a little farther to the east so that the dark cloud was coming down right where we were going to drive through. I told my husband to stop the car and he slowed down just enough so that the dark cloud floated over just enough so we didn't breathe it.

I jumped out of the car then at the intersection of 172nd and Beloit Rd. I could still see the small plane flying off towards the west and I needed to jump over a deep ditch into a field on the south-east side of the intersection.

I made the leap easily and it was like landing in a featherbed of burlap colored coverlet. I knew I had to buy this land and that if I looked northwest towards the last plane, I'd see a light in the sky.

I actually looked through the fingers of my hand and thought I saw a light in the sky but figured it was a mirage or trick of sight. So, I looked towards the west and on the horizon was a brilliant bright white light.

I knew this was the right place.

NOTE: A plane crashed at Singapore airport ... out of LA. 179 people were on the plane. A typhoon was going on with winds of 106 km per hour.


10-16-00 - VISION - I was just closing my eyes to go to sleep and saw a group of people looking upward out of a door. It was quite bright, like a full moon or so bright.  There was at least a man, a woman, and a child standing in the door way, though there might have been more people to the side.  

I was wondering what they were looking at, and thinking perhaps a UFO, but then the scene panned towards the left and then I saw what they others saw.  A tall man, wearing a black cape he was holding out with his hands ... rather like Dracula.


10-17-00 - DREAM - It's hard to say what I was looking at. It seemed like it was a map of Canada with a lot of what it looked like potato salad spread across it.  There was a lot of manipulations of politics in the area and blame put on other people for what was going on. People were posting material on the internet about it and using the names of other people to put up information. At the end, a huge spoonful of potato salad was turned upsidedown and the initials 'TB' placed on it.


10-17-00 - DREAM - I came into my livingroom and saw that there was a puddle of water on the tile.  My small daughter was there ... about 3 or 4 years old.  I saw that in the puddle was short snippets of grass and that it was moving.  I looked further along the livingroom floor which I now noticed was all white ceramic tiles.  The furniture was all moved away from the wall and the whole side of the room along the wall was one long puddle of clear water. I also saw that water was bubbling up from between some tiles like Yellowstone waterspouts from time to time.  

I said to my daughter, Where is your Daddy? Where is your Daddy? I was figuring he would take care of the problem.  A man who sounded like my Father hollered in from the kitchen ... "There is no point in fixing it. It's only going to come right back."

The scene changed and I was in the kitchen, standing by the stove, frying some hamburgers.  I started to move the pan with the hamburgers to flip them over, but the pan started to slide off the stove right where I was standing.  I almost couldn't stop it. The weight was so heavy.  I woke up with my hand, which was underneath my body, twitching violently from the weight of the frying pan.


Hmmm. must mean I need to go on a diet.  Damn!


10-18=00 - Twice during the night, I was contact by the voice of Tom from Aaron's to tell me he was going out of business tomorrow because someone had said something on the telephone and he was being sued.  The second time, he asked how I was and then admitted that it was him who was having the problems. He thanked me for asking about it.

NOTE: I decided it was best not to call him on the phone in the physical because I don't think he would have received this news well.  It would have been more hurtful to tell him ahead of time than to let him live it out which would be bad enough.


10-18-00 - DREAM - It was Sunday and I told Joe that I was going to call Milwaukee and find out how Tom was doing.  I had the Milwaukee yellow pages book and got the number. I dialed the phone and it was answered by a young woman who sounded like Rochelle. (Rochelle worked for Tom when I first started with him in 1991. We were not only co-workers, but friends too) I said, "Hi! This is Dee from California."  She didn't seem to remember me, so I was thinking perhaps it was Tom's daughter and she just happened to sound like Rochelle.  I figured his daughter wouldn't remember me because she was only 10 when I first met her and 18 when I left town.

I asked if Tom was around and she called him, but he was busy with the dog and Tom's wife got on the phone. I told her who I was but she didn't seem to know or understand that it was me and I had to tell her too that I was Dee from California.

Somehow, the phone got reversed and I ended up answering the phone for them.  That's how I found out it was Sunday, because the woman said it was Sunday and she had an appointment at 11 a.m.

Normally, everyone stays at home on Sunday and only goes out on individual calls, and I double checked with her to make sure she had an appointment.  

Then Ward came on the phone (Ward quit working for Tom in 1997 just before I left town also)  I told him who I was and we chit chatted a bit and I found myself in Milwaukee somehow and was being welcomed by everyone who had been on the other end of the phone. I was in a van or something, with Joe driving, and we had to make a turn in the driveway and he started to run over some plants I had left behind.  I jumped out of the van to rescue the plants.

The people there recognized me and came running up to me to show me they had plants too, and they were just starting to bloom and they thanked me for being there when they were getting started. One guys wife had just got pregnant and was all happy about it and bragged to me about it and showed me a Christmas cactus that was just starting to bloom that we had started as a plant 4 years earlier.

I also saw some Lilies on the driveway that Joe almost ran over and I saved them too and put them in the van.

The dream just faded away as I woke up.


10-18-00 - The phone rang twice before I fell asleep for my nap.  

DREAM - I was knitting (which I had been doing earlier)  I was learning how to increase the knitting by adding a stitch, and decreased the stitches by purling two stitches together.  Each stitch represented someone I could call on the telephone.


10-19-00 - DREAM - I was in a huge place where people were kept track of by number with little brown stickers (like theatre ticket shapes) Everything they did had to be done in the order of the numbers in turn.  There was going to be a wedding on TV and at the very last second, I got splattered with something so I looked like Minnie Pearl with freckles of orange all over my face and hands of this stuff. I had to quickly pick up all the cheese boxes and other debris from getting ready for the shindig and then run into the bathroom and scrub off these little orange dots off my face and hands.  By the time I got all the stuff off, the wedding was over. Besides that I had to wash my clothes to get rid of the little orange dots as well and threw them in the dryer. The material was such that even when wet, it didn't seem wet but I threw it into the dryer anyway for a few minutes.  When it was done, I pulled out the grey slacks and pulled them on right over the ones I was already wearing. It looked okay that way.

We then went outside to a gym-like play area and here too, everything was done in turn by the number you were.  Unfortunately, the last group of guys set up water hoses on the gym poles so that everyone was going to get sprayed with water.  I saw the water come flying out of the hoses towards me. The water droplets looked to be about 4 inches across and there were so many, one couldn't outrun them, nor dodge them ... and I was thinking that when they hit me, not only would I get splattered with the droplets, they would go all the way through me like protons.


10-19-00 - This was stupid night ...

DREAM - I was living in a large apartment building. I was looking for something while cleaning out drawers in the bedroom. I opened up a couple of the bottom most drawers and discovered that my husband was saving old candy boxes.  A couple of them were neat little boxes, colored green with many square compartments in them. They were empty and I decided I would let him keep them. I opened the bottom most drawer and discovered that there was a box of candy in this drawer. Only some of it was eaten and it was all wormy.  

When I opened this drawer the worms came crawling out into the light and there were so many of them, I felt quite overwhelmed and went screaming out of the apartment and down the hall to find my husband who was working in another apartment.  

The people around me in the hallway were not at all helpful, but were strange in themselves ... people who couldn't hear well, people who only spoke above a whisper so I couldn't hear what they were saying. There were look-alike people who only resembled people I knew but were too tall, too young, too old, or too short to people I really knew.

I didn't find my husband in the first direction, so I went running down the hall in the other direction.  This hallway became more decrepit the farther I went. First it was carpeted, then became only a concrete floor, and I got the impression that I was walking on the inside of a space station ... the floor was curved so I was always walking at the bottom of a huge curve which went upward just beyond me.  The fact that the hallway was getting more and more scary and decrepit made me finally turn around because I saw ahead of me, the curve was getting even higher as I walked.

So, I went back the other way and the hallway improved as I went and I finally got back to my own apartment and opened the door. A huge sign appeared that said "Entomology 101".


I didn't feel like getting up and finally went back to sleep and rather repeated the dream before except I was trying to tell my husband the dream while a video of the dream was playing.  We would get to talking and we got past the worm part and I told him to rewind it, then he rewound it so far, it went into a different black and white movie which he preferred to watch. I finally gave up trying to show him the video of the previous dream. It just wasn't worth the effort.

I got up and went to see some other people. There were some young woman who were just starting college and I was going to take the same class with them. However, they had gone a day early and got their books and papers ahead of time.  They showed me what was required. The paper they had was legal size and white and held on a clipboard.  

I was fascinated that the teacher expected everyone to label their papers in exactly the same way in specific spaces.  The girl I was talking to said that the teacher said she was only allowed to list one website and she was excited that she was going to tell the teacher that she was linked to MY website. That made her ecstatically happy.

I thought that was great for her, but I wasn't too thrilled by the prospect of having to do everything exactly like everyone else.

I started going through the building again, like before, but this time the hallways were jammed with stuff like a narrow mall and I came to one section where everything looked like it belonged to ME. I looked closer and everything in this section was exactly like mine only more of it.  It looked like I owned a whole store of my own. There were numerous duplicates of everything I really own.  It was pretty cool.

I finally went back to my apartment and my kids followed me inside. In the apartment this time, it was like being in the movies where everything we did was accompanied by dramatic sound. Every step the kids made was accompanied by booming tympani drums. The things I moved made sounds like in a baby crib with little tiny bells and tinkling sounds.

In fact, there were baby toys everywhere in the apartment now, stuffed animals, plastic things babies used, and everything was musical.

The kids wanted to see everything I was doing and I was getting annoyed with the sounds so I decided to wake up.



10-20-00 - DREAM - I was seeing rows of wooden boxes on a wall, which had long sheets of paper in them that were not stacked but rather rolled loosely because they could not be folded. The sheets were longer or shorter according to how much needed to be written on them. These were the truths that were to be brought to the people over time.

Somehow I was then taken to the city where the woman who wrote these truths down was living. There were nasty people with Black Skin who were hunting for her and she hid amongst the poor people so no one would discover who she was.  

I saw the black people at the curb driving up in a silver car. They started to get out of their car,  looked at me and decided I wasn't the one they wanted. They were distracted by another black woman who was just getting out of her car in front of them with a big smile on her face.

So I continued on up a hill through a mowed section of grass where many people were laying out ... like hippies ... each one wrapped in a quilt or blanket.  They lay like street people, huddled in the damp grass in their quilts.  The one I was looking for was to be wearing a yellow quilt and it took me a bit to find her. I finally did find her and walked around her to sit beside her and see who she was.

I stepped around her prone body in the quilt and somehow became her ... like I stepped into her body.

I then got up and went into a large office where I had a new job. I went into the office where they assigned me to a large wooden desk next to some huge windows over looking the city. It was near to noon time and the other girls left for lunch. I was still barefoot but I guess no one noticed it when I came in.

I left the desk where I had been originally assigned and went to one at the back of the room where there was more room to write.  A sign on the desk said, "Journalist". There was a lot of markers, fingernail polish bottles, and lipstick samples on the desk, and I pushed them all aside so I could write about the rolls of paper I had seen earlier.

The boss came over to the desk and said that I hadn't signed the contract yet for my employment.  I looked at the large sheet of paper and my name was at the top along with numerous other names and signatures of people who had recommended me for the job.  

He was right. My name was on the paper, but not my signature.  So, my boss found a spot at the bottom of the contract and wrote ... original signature lost ... signed his own name and then I signed my name next to his and dated it 1981.

The other girls began to come back from their lunch and saw me sitting at the 'Journalist' desk. They looked a little surprised, but then accepted the fact that I would be sitting there. I looked for a place to put all the markers which were in an array of rainbow colors and saw that there was a cabinet on the right side of the desk where numerous new markers and other supplies were kept.  

There was a space in front of the cabinet which another girl said I could keep a child during the day and when I said I didn't have a child, they said they would think of something else I could keep there, like my dog or something. There was a piece of green shag carpeting there on which someone could sit.

Some other girls came in then to make arrangements to order ahead for dinner and they included me and I ordered, "French, and orange juice".  I didn't really know what was going to be 'French' but others had also ordered it and I was certain it would be fine, whatever it was.

I woke up and then began to see writing on a long sheet of paper, much of which looked to be Latin. I saw the words, "In the order of Vitalae" and "From the 12th Luminal".  It seemed that the light was not on in the room as I looked at this sheet of paper, but when I turned on the light, the rest would become clear as well.

I had to get up and write this down because the beginning of the dream was beginning to fade and I didn't want to lose it.


10-20-00 - Now I'm pissed off because I went back to bed, hopefully to get some more words out of the previous dream.  This whole thing is so stupid that now I can't trust the dream before this one either.

DREAM -  I was in a house, and the TV was on, with a Jerry Lewis movie on a huge screen. Jerry Lewis got on an elevator and a really heavy wind was blowing. The wind was blowing so hard, it actually blew some red maple leaves branches down the elevator and Jerry Lewis was blowing in the wind so hard, he couldn't stand up straight. Then, with the wind and rain blowing in the elevator, a branch from a willow tree came down the elevator, and somehow, I reached over to the picture of the TV and I plucked the willow tree branch out of the TV picture and it manifested for real right in my hand.

My husband walked in the room and saw the branch in my hand. I was so in awe and shock, I could hardly explain what just happened. It was so exciting, I wanted to write it down in my journal.

I didn't have a pen handy, so I had to go downstairs and get a pen from the desk.  

Here is where the dream changed to CRAPOLA!  I came back up the stairs with the pen and went back to my bedroom.  I crawled back into bed to write in my journal. I could hear loud sounds outside where a construction crew was remodeling the house across the street.

At the same time, a sweet teen girl came into the room, crying.  She asked me a couple questions about what does it mean to be 'really in the country' when you already live in the country, and some other question about farming.  Her and her boyfriend had just had a big argument over it because he wanted her to live on a farm and she was all upset.  So, I explained to her about 'relative' terms about being in the country and that farming was a good life.

Meanwhile, the guys across the street were running back and forth, coming close to the window and swearing and I was trying to console the girl.  She finally calmed down and left the room.

Then someone brought me a little girl baby who was in a carrier thing. I saw she didn't have a diaper on and I looked to see if she had a diaper rash and she did kind of have reddish spots on her skin so I thought it would be okay not to wear her diaper for awhile but she had soiled her dress and it stunk.  However, I discussed it with the baby and decided I would just leave her alone for a bit. She wasn't hurting anything, but I thought it would be a good idea to put a diaper under the carrier thing to protect the mattress anyway.

I saw a man coming out of the closet and he saw me with love in my heart for the little baby girl and I wondered if he could see the love in my aura, but he disappeared again so I couldn't find out.

Then some kids came and my grand-daughter Taylar and she brought kids in to play. She ran into the closet and climbed up on a shelf and put a basket up against the center lightbulb. I told her she was going to hurt herself but I also told her she was going to be sorry if she hurt herself.  She didn't seem to care, so I left her there and left to go down the stairs again to get a pen.  This time the stairs were full of toys and I had to be careful to step around them.

I still hadn't written down the part about manifesting the willow tree branch.

Now I started meeting other people. Downstairs, one guy wanted me to go into a nice bar with him and I was wearing my nightgown and robe. I declined but he said, 'just listen to the music' so I was sitting in the outer lobby in the light, rather looking inside the bar where people were singing 'the blues' music ... the words were meaningless, but the music was nice just the same. Then the man asked me to dance with him. I didn't want to, but he held out his hand and I finally gave in and put up my hand and he pulled me to my feet.

He pulled me into the bar on the carpeted dance floor and just as I got standing there, feeling like dancing to the music, not only did the music stop, but the man disappeared behind me, and there was just me and another old lady with a old blue sweater on standing there feeling stupid.  I hate jokes like that, so I left and went back out to go get my pen to write down my willow tree manifestation.

Now I met a woman who looked nice, but I could see into the room she wanted me to come in and there was a dentist chair in there ... No thanks! I'm outa here I'm thinking and went scampering down the hall as fast as my dream feet would carry me.

I went to my own room where I knew there was a pen and I needed to go to the bathroom and weigh myself and I was just about to the bathroom and I heard a noise at the door. I saw a huge black shadow of a man's hat ... and fear jumped out of me head like it did when I was a kid and thought I saw a shadow like that on my bedroom wall.

However, three women came into the room. I recognized the middle one.  I can't think of her name now. She reminds me of Shirley MacClaine but blonder and I know who she is ... just can't think of her name.  She introduced me to the woman on her left who was smaller and darker haired. She said, "This is Maika".  Maika was carrying a lace wedding garter or something like that which she wanted to present to me.  There was another smaller woman on the right of the Shirley character who also had a gift to give to me.

But I wasn't trusting anything now, so I went up to Maika and patted her face rather lovingly.

Just as I thought, that one little pat on her face changed the shape of her face. So now I knew I couldn't trust what I was seeing and patted her face again ... a little harder ... and her face changed shape again.  I was getting pissed now so I slapped the face of the other woman and her face too was plastic and changed shape, so I decided I would change their faces really good and pushed the palm of my hand into all their noses and their noses pushed inward so they looked like flat pig noses ... Now I was so mad, I pushed their noses in even farther so their noses were flat on their faces.  

The women looked rather dismayed that I had done this to them, but I didn't care, I was through trying to get my pen and write down the damn willow scene in a book because now I couldn't trust nothing ....


NOTE:  A friend of mine told me that the second dream was showing me that I was getting distracted by other things when I'm supposed to be working on 'truth' and getting it out there.


10-21-00  - I had just watched a TV show on hate crime.  DREAM - I was looking at a yellow and white brick wall which represented hate crimes, then it turned into a computer screen with a lot of writing and I was deleting extraneous spaces out of it to make the page adjust to normal.


10-21-00 - DREAM - I was in the country with a bunch of people. We were on one side of a valley with some tiny children - 4" tall or so - and we had to construct new shoes for them in a pond. Somehow the pond 'fried' the shoes which were like coating a piece of fish (don't ask me what that means)  On the other side of the valley I saw some kids or young men walking on loose rock and the whole side of the mountain slid down. I worried if anyone was killed in the landslide when it happened again and once again.  I could still see other people running around on the loose rock, but I couldn't tell if anyone had died in the landslides or not. I don't see how they could not.


10-21-00 - DREAM - I was in an apartment with other members of the family. We were still in bed in the early morning ... just being lazy and relaxing.  This is the calmest I've ever felt in my life it felt like. We finally decided to get up and one of the men went to make breakfast. The milkman came and provided free eggs and milk for breakfast and even cooked it for us. that was really nice.

I then went downtown and met a girl I knew. We were walking along the street and ended up at the jewelry store where she was a clerk. The female owner met us at the door and we went inside. I introduced myself to her and told her that I was just cleaning out my wallet and ripped up a piece of paper I had in it. I don't know why I felt guilty being there.

I then went back home and saw that across the street, some teen girls went up an outside stairway to the second floor apartment and were knocking on the door. I saw that the whole inside of the door's window was bloody.  Nobody opened the door and I was afraid to get involved, so I ran up the stairs to my own apartment. I wanted to get inside fast, but the ceiling was only 3 inches above the floor with a yellow flowered curtain for a ceiling. I discovered I could make the opening a foot high by pushing up on the ceiling, so I did that and crawled inside the apartment.

Later on, I opened the door to go back out of the apartment, and instead of a stairway, the other apartment was right across the hall. I was expecting to see the same blood, but instead an older dark haired woman opened the door to that apartment and there was no blood. I was trying to figure out how she cleaned up all that blood and what she was hiding.


10-21-00 - DREAM - I was a young woman working as a Journalist.  I was working in a smallish office with 12 foot ceilings in a big old house. My boss was a tall, thin, dark-haired man.  There were several desks in this room and my boss had a computer.  I wanted to sit at the desk facing two tall windows facing the east or west (I'm not sure) It was dark out when I got there, but it soon got light and I liked facing the light.  The windows became like a TV or movie screen and I watched as a tall, dark haired man rounded up some bulls in an old truck. The bulls didn't like being rounded up. They jumped off the truck and threw their bodies head-long over a long narrow pile of rocks in the street and sacrificed themselves.

I wrote up the story in my loose-leaf notebook and my boss wrote a paragraph below it and okayed it and signed it on the 30th.   SEE BULL SACRIFICE


10-21-00 - DREAM - I was in a city. I was with my daughter-in-law Becky and I was supposed to take her kids to a roller rink. I had a city map and didn't recognize any streets on the map.  I asked her if she knew where these places were and she said she did.  I didn't want to go. I had other things I had to do. I had to get my license, I had to teach a class, and I had to go to the police station and learn how to shoot a gun, then get licensed for that too.  That made me really nervous.  I needed the gun because they were going to teach me to become a detective.

I asked my daughter-in-law if she knew how to shoot a gun. She said, "No!"  I told her I had to go and learn how.  No sooner than I said it and I was in the police station, standing in line. There was only men there and they all looked mean.  The main guy wanted to know if I knew how to stare at one spot. I said, "yes!"  He said, "Look at those letters in the corner and then stare at the little blue light."  There was a row of 'N's the wall in the corner, and right in front of it was a gadget like a camera. It had a blue light on the front of it. I stared at it for a moment. That's all I had to do and they let me go again.

Then I had to go to the class. I was nervous again, and my father wanted to know if I wanted a piece of gum before I went. He started passing out pieces of gum that looked oddly shaped. They were like fat star shapes.  He passed them out to Becky, me, her kids, and ate two of them himself.  As it turned out it was anti-nerve tranquilizer gum.  Becky spit hers out because it tasted rather bitter. I didn't mind the taste, but I spit mine out a moment after she did because I didn't want to weave all over the road with the car. My Father stood by my right shoulder and said, "It isn't going to hurt you. I had two of them myself."  I looked and he put two chewed gum pieces on the table in front of us.  I was waiting to feel woozy but I didn't at that moment.

I then went to the class where I was the teacher of a bunch kindergarten age girls. The girls sat in an auditorium-like place but with desks and seats in a row.  We only used the 3 last desks in the row. Each girl had a name tag with her name on it in front of her. I had to read the girls name and she would acknowledge it was her.  None of the name was English. It was very difficult but I did okay.

By the time I got to the back of the class, I was feeling really stressed because the names were difficult to pronounce.  But I made it. My daughter who was an adult and the other mothers were all sitting at the back. I said to my daughter, "I may be your mother, but I'm still ----" I forget the word I used .... everybody laughed.

I went back to the class and it was time to pass out the report cards to the girls. They were the size of a deck of cards. One of the girls handed them to me. They were all gritty with chocolate cookie crumbs.  The girl who handed me the report cards had her mouth full of cookie crumbs too, and all over her hands.

The cards had to be alphabetized and there were quite a few of them. I was going to ask a couple of the girls to help sort them out, but the girl with the cookie crumbs insisted she had to help and her mouth was disgusting with the crumbs falls out and she wouldn't swallow what she had in her mouth.  Her mother came and stood behind her to help calm her daughter down but she kept yapping at me. Her mouth stretched out really wide and I grabbed her lips with my fingers and tried to make her shut her mouth. That only made her madder and open her mouth wider.  Finally, her face was all open mouth with chocolate in it and I was squeezing her lips together to try to make her shut it. It was a hopeless task. Her mother had to step in and take her away.

So I took the cards to alphabetize them ... and woke up


10-21-00 - DREAM - It was now getting on towards night and I was heading for a night class where I was going to teach some women.  As I walked down the street, I came to where some men were hiding and a ugly, dark-haired guy dressed in red came running out from behind some bushes. He had a long pointed stick in his hands and he almost got me in the neck with it. It was so close, I felt it actually brush against my skin on the left side of my neck.  I turned and he ran off down the street and nobody caught him.

I got to the school and my class was in the basement. I got to the class which was in room number 105.  The door was ajar and that worried me, but I opened it further and found a painter inside, just finishing up painting something. He was good looking and wearing blue clothing, so I didn't worry about him.

I went back out into the hall and went up one flight of stairs to the lobby. There were a lot of women coming in for night classes. A clunky looking young woman, dressed in an ugly brown coat came up to me to ask a question. Her hair was curly, but wore no makeup. She wanted to know what it took to get a man.  She walked back down the stairs with me, and I let her know that to find a man was not the ultimate goal for a woman these days, that a single woman could still find fulfilling goals for themselves and have a useful life.  As I said that, some other older women were walking by and they nodded and smiled in agreement.  That made the young woman feel better and she walked on towards her class.

I got back to my classroom which was now wide open with the lights on. However, there was a sign hanging on the door that said, 'wet paint' and the door was newly varnished and shining. The coat racks for the women's coat was missing, so as the women came in I told them they could put their coats on the tables down the hall in the laundry room. Thus the woman were delayed coming to class as they walked back and forth down the hall with their coats.

Meanwhile, I walked down the hall the other direction and found another open door where there was a dog inside. He was a cute, fluffy dog, but a man who was there just ahead of me said that the dog had a small bomb attached to his collar.  The man grabbed the bomb off the dog, threw it back into the room, and the dog, the man, and I ran down the hall back towards the classroom.  I didn't hear the bomb go off behind us.

Now I saw guards walking the halls looking for someone they suspected of being there. One guard who came through the classroom was really handsome about 7 feet tall. He continued on his way and I became nervous that the guy in red was there somewhere.

The women were now gathering for the class and I was still dealing with what was going on around us that they were oblivious to.  A man came up to me to ask me about the emergency kit. He said there was a key in the front side of the kit but it didn't open it. He left and I stuck my finger into the opening and found the key. Then I turned the kit around which was a silver box like a small suitcase. I discovered that the kit actually opened from the back side and I undid the latches and found that the key wasn't needed to open the box. That was just a ruse.

Inside the box there was a list of contents and a gun. The list said there was enough stuff in there for 60 women, so whatever it was, it would cover the class if something happened.

I put the kit back and went down the hall towards the class.  However, I could see a man sitting at a desk at the end of the hall and his eyes were glowing.  The guards were nowhere around so I knew it was going to be me against him. I knew he was the guy dressed in red.


10-22-00 - DREAM - I worked for 'the blonde woman' (who shall remain nameless) I was taking care of the mail.  We hadn't looked at it in a long time but 'the blonde woman' wasn't interested in what people had to say or what their questions were. She was too busy 'doing her thing', so she could do more workshops and sell books.

I felt sorry for the people who wrote and got no answers, so I was taking it upon myself to send them thank you notes for writing and apologizing that 'the blonde woman' didn't have time to write letters to them.

I did make note that nobody sent a self-address stamped envelope so it was costing me money to buy the envelopes and I didn't get paid to do this either. I was a volunteer. I still had another job to earn a living with.  

One young woman wrote and asked simply for a map. I didn't know what she needed a map for ... to come to the house, maybe?  The blonde woman didn't really want anyone to know where she lived.

Finally, I opened an envelope from a woman who I thought really deserved something in return, so I wrapped up two beaded necklaces for that person ... these were my own. One was a green emerald necklace and the other one was a rainbow gemstone colored one. I found two small white jewelry boxes and put one inside each one and then taped them together to mail them to her.


10-23-00 - DREAM - I was visiting relatives with my daughter and her kids and my daughter-in-laws kids.  Ethan and Emily came into the room without their shirts and showed me their bellies.  Both of them had Chickenpox so they couldn't go anywhere.

There was a little boy there who had a knife which he had gotten from his Dad. He showed us how he could stab someone and then cut their throat. I determined that my grandkids weren't going to play with him.

I had to go to the bank and the store and my daughter said she would go with me. She owed me $300 for wastebasket liners (I think it was something related to this also starting with the letter W but I can't think of it) and I was going to deposit that in the bank.  We were just getting up in the morning and we all had to comb our hair. It was a tough job. Everyone's hair was hard to comb and I actually pulled a chunk of hair and scalp right out in the back.

I thought at first maybe I would walk because nobody was ready. I started out. It was downhill one way, and uphill the other way and was several miles.  I started out walking, crossed the intersection, and got past the first car which was a golden brown and decided it was too far. I had taken two chocolate candy bars with me and they had half melted. This wasn't a good idea so I went back to get the car instead.

My daughter and the kids said they would go along this time. This meant we had to take more than two candy bars. My daughter started packing the car which was a black convertible with 3 rows of seats. It had no doors on it.  She packed everything but the kitchen sink, including cauliflowers which the kids cut in half on the back seat. We had boxes of dishes, camping equipment and food to make sandwiches for lunch.  

Because they were going along, we were going to go uphill and were going to take a friend of the family who was a wrestler. He was introduced to me with the name "Practice" and he was a really big guy.

So we all piled into the car and then I discovered that the doors to the garage were closed and the right wheel was off the car.  But the owner of the house quickly came, opened the double garage doors in front of the car and put a new wheel on the car.  Finally I got into the car to drive it and woke up.

I immediately had a vision of a fish going up a fish ladder like salmon do.


10-24-00 - This was a series of non-sensical dreams followed by a serious prediction.  

Dream 1 - I was in a kitchen where all the appliances were bright red enameled. It was awesome and I loved it.  As I woke up, I heard the words ... The Mets will win!

Dream 2 - I was in a public kitchen where there were a lot of people. One of the women in front of me had her hair pulled straight back, but it came straight out of her eyebrows.

I said to these people, "The mets are going to win, The mets are going to win, The Mets are going to win."

Dream 3 - I was shown a map of Texas and Mexico.  None of the other states were outlines.  Texas and Mexico were outlined in white.  The dream zoomed in on a square area at the corner where Texas and Mexico meet at the Gulf of Mexico.  This area was separated from both Texas and Mexico.  I was shown the names of two specific towns that were important.  The one on the upper left corner was called  'my co', (pronounced 'my cow')  the one on the bottom right corner was called 'oh no'.

As I woke up, again I heard the words, "The Mets will win."

What that has to do with Texas or Mexico I don't know.  I pulled out a map and looked at this area and it doesn't really exist.  

I guess we'll just wait until the World Series is finished and see what happens.

NOTE:  The Mets won 4-2 over the Yankees in the last moments of the game.  Yay!!!!!!


10-25-00 - DREAM - I was living in an apartmen building and hadn't picked up my mail in a long time.  I went to look for my mailbox key which was supposed to be on the same keyring as my apartment key, but it wasn't.  I found another key on a separate ring that had the number 365 on it so I took that, hoping I could find someone in the lobby to get some help from.

I went down to the lobby, which had high marble stairs and it felt dangerous walking down them, but I made it okay.  

I got to the mailbox and discovered that it wasn't an individual box, but a box intended for the whole building and the #365 key fit right in it.   I looked to where my own mail would be and all I had was numerous yellow slips telling me that the postman had taken all the mail to the post office and I would have to pick it up there.

There was a note there also telling me that I had received two letters from Daniel Ryan that were important.  (This is true)

I then went back upstairs to my apartment where there was a bunch of women visiting me. One was my daughter-in-law Becky.  She said, "Look! We are all wearing blue.!"  I looked and sure enough, every one of us was wearing dark blue... some with flowers on the blue, but all blue.

NOTE: Must be the general Ray influence.


10-26-00 - (I had a really hard time going to sleep after writing long e-mails yesterday. Then when I lay down I felt a sharp like cold electrical poker going through my left brain to my left ear. I don't think it was going from my ear towards my brain ... it felt like the other direction. The pain was incredible. It happened twice, then sent away. I don't konw what caused it. At that moment I wasn't seeing anything astrally. However, after the pain passed, I started seeing gardens and parks with trees and shadowy people walking around in them. It was kind of cool)

DREAM - I was in my 16th St. house and needed to go to the upstairs bathroom. When I got there, I could hear water running behind the closed door and knew that someone was in there. It sounded like a shower was running ... something we never had back then. I realized it had to be my brother.  I quietly walked across the hall and went into my old room, closed the door and started to lay down when I heard my brother come out of the bathroom, go into the master bedroom and start to get dressed. When I felt he was dressed all the way, I quietly walked to the door and came out of the room.

In the hallway, I met my other brother also who only lived in that house as a tiny child, not as an adult as he was now. My brother Marty told me that my brother John needed help in sorting out or dividing some plants that he had growing in his room.  So we went in there.  It didn't appear to me that he needed any help. All the plants were tidy. Perhaps a little large in their pots, but definitely not really needing any dividing at that point.  I saw some really huge cactus type things behind that area and leaned over to look at them. Just my breath alone made one fall over backwards ... Ooops... I said and left the room.

I then found myself in a place that looked somewhat like my old apartment building on Jackson Street in Milwaukee in some aspects, but was quite different in others. It was rather de ja vu at the same time.

In 1989 I was the only white woman managing an all black building. Not the one described above. I  managed that building for a year and a half, then moved to one a block away that was half and half color-wise. Three years later I moved to one that was mostly white near the downtown area.  This was that building ... almost.

I went into one apartment which I asked the manager if it was apartment 5 because there was no number on the door. She didn't answer me, but invited me in to see the apartment which was a model, fully furnished.  

The apartment was fully furnished as I said, with furniture, curtains, drapes, everything. It was wonderful.  No one could have asked for better.  After I finished looking at the apartment, I went out into the hallway again and headed towards the lobby.  

Here in the hallway were all black men, dressed nicely in suits, but they would bump into me and I've have to say, "Excuse me", so they wouldn't think anything bad about me, but none of them said it to me. I was the only one who said it.  I went through some doors, feeling very nervous about being here. I felt quite intimidated being the only white woman with all black men.

I came to the lobby which was quite extensive ... more like a mall seating area.  The air felt quite heavy here and walking was difficult because of the heavy atmosphere it felt like ... like heavy gravity perhaps.  I was wearing a long maroon gown which dragged on the floor it seemed because it felt like the women in the room, of which there were many were stepping on the back hem of my dress as I walked.  Only by picking up my dress a little could I walk at all normally.  

I was walking past the women who were seated. They were dressed in fancy gowns like at the opera, all coifed fancy, and wearing perfume and jewels.  I then realized what was wrong with this scene and it rather horrified me ... these were all men ... dressed up like women.  I had to walk around the whole area so as not to appear uncouth. I couldn't just cut and run. Having this heavy atmosphere or gravity made it take all the longer than normal.

I was being trailed now by the manager and some other woman who were touring with me.  I was about to exit the room ... I was so sickened by what I was seeing, I started to say, "This place should bommmmmmmmmm.." and couldn't finish the word because as I turned my head, there was a cop sitting on the couch next one of them.

I knew as I was saying the word, it was a crime to threaten anyone or any place and instantly regretted it. I asked the women next to me in a whisper, "Do you think he heard me?" She said, "No! But he heard you say, "This is my first time back here! And he wrote it down and was watching you."  I whispered back, "This is the last time I will come back here."

We continued on down the hall and came to an area where there were water hoses on the other side of a door that divided the building in the hallway.  For some reason, I picked up the heavy hose and was dragging it down the hall with me, hosing down the walls to clean them.  

I got almost to the next section door and spotted my grandson Nathan.  He greeted me and said that he had been given the job of the hosing the area and he was allowed to go only to where I picked up the hose and he showed me how far he was allowed to go. He said it was area 'D'.

We went beyond that area then and I spotted my family having some kind of party. They were lining up on a stairway for a family picture. I heard my Father say, "It's too bad that Dolores isn't here."  I piped up and said, "Yes! I'm here!", just as others said, "She's here!" I saw my Father look over towards where I was and he smiled and then went back to the pose he wanted for the picture.

We then got up to go celebrate my mother's birthday which just passed on October 6th and I couldn't be with her.  The women were passing around little salty snacks on tiny trays and that's what my mouth tasted like when I woke up later.  I went to sit next to my mother on a stairway built into the lobby for sitting on ... like built in stair benches.  I saw knitting needles and a sewing kit there like someone had been sewing.  I started to pick them up so I could sit there and started to wake up, feeling a picking feeling under my arm like I was getting jabbed by something I picked up.  There was nothing sticking in my clothing that I could find however.


10-25-00 - DREAM - I was sitting in a livingroom with the television on.  Joe said, "What's going on."  I said , "I'm on TV with Ariana Huffington, to tell her about the ETs".  We were on a remote camera like a computer cam.

NOTE:  Not a bad way to get the topic out in the media, huh?


10-27-00 - DREAM - I was in a huge kitchen.  Dinner was over. Two men were in the room ... a dark haired man and a light haired man. Between them, they stained 4 tablecloths.

I was soaking laundry to be washed, so I planned to wash the tablecloths along with the soaking laundry.

The washer was like an Easy spinner washer and I took the lid of the spinner part where I was soaking earlier laundry. The water was bluish looking. I reached down and pulled out two beautiful soft Indian blankets. There were also some towels.

When the water drained down, a dark boy and girl found some black fish at the bottom. They commented that they were black-water fish. The fish were all small, but black. One I saw had a gold stripe on it.

Though the water drained down, there was still a lot of water in a now square tub and the water was clear. The dark girl stood under the water and I watched her to see if she was breathing. It appeared that the was blowing out her own air but there were no air bubbles.  After some minutes, she came up out of the water and took a deep breath. I asked her how she had stayed under the water so long, and she stated that it was very difficult.

I now had to transplant some plants for spring and there was a man and woman there who were watching over the old plants.

In the dirt, which was in the same big water tub whcih was square, I was making space to put in the new plants, but was burying them on top of little WHITE stuffed animals like rabbits and teddy bears. I laid the stuffed animals in the dirt like they were being buried and placed the new plants on top of them. These new plants would take root and bloom again.

At the same time, there was a baby there and I had to make sure he didn't get buried along with the stuffed toys.



10-29-00 - EXPERIENCE - I had been wondering why I hadn't seen anything unusual lately .  A couple hours later, I walked into the office where the computers are and saw something white coming at me ... head high ... I ducked ... it seemed to be a white bird coming down to land on my head or shoulder.  After I ducked, I had to laugh because there was nothing there.  The next time I left and room and came back, it happened again, more clear this time ... and I ducked again.  Silly girl. :-)


10-29-00 - AFTERNOON NIGHTMARE: I was the manager of a school/apartment. I lived on the third floor. The 1st floor was the school, but also apartments.  As manager, part of my job was to watch everything that went on that affected the other people who lived there and went to school there.

I went into a rather dark apartment on the 1st floor, which was a mess. It seemed as though the people had moved out fast, but there was a lot of stuff left behind.  What there was left behind was disorganized and jumbled. I looked around quickly, then went up to my apartment on the third floor.

At this point I felt like my right ear was burned. I touched the top of my ear and it felt a little hot and swollen.  I went to my neighbor's apartment to ask her if she could look at my ear and see if it was burned because I couldn't see behind my ear by myself.

She looked at it and said there was a row of white dots all along the top back of my ear like little blisters like it was burned. I wanted to see this for myself and found a double sided mirror, one side of which was like a closeup mirror while the other side was regular.

I went into the bathroom, turned on the light of which there were two. I stood with my back to her big mirror and held the magnifying mirror in front of me so that it would magnify what was reflected in the big mirror.  This worked well as any woman who has tried to see the back of her head to check her hairdo will testify. But it wasn't bright enough to see if my ear was burned.

So, I took the double sided mirror back to my own apartment where I thought the light would be brighter so I could see better. However, when I was in the bathroom, the whole fluorescent bulb above the mirror was missing. Someone had taken it.  Thus is was darker in my bathroom than it had been in the neighbor's bathroom.

My neighbor who was trailing after me was delayed in the hallway by a couple people.  She came in then and said, (unnamed female) was looking for me. I asked her why.

Her answer astounded me. She told me that in the 1st floor apartment where I had been earlier was was disorganized and jumbled with stuff, was the scene of an assassination.

I hadn't seen that there was a dead body in the apartment, but the woman and her boyfriend had been there hiding and had seen me there. They thought I saw them assassinate the dark haired guy who was the master mechanic for the building.

I knew this woman well. She was well respected by everyone. She was a spiritual person ... or at least presented herself that way.

Knowing that she and her boyfriend were looking for me made me fear for my life. I knew that this was all about the website that had been created and the teachings being presented there.  I knew I had to get out of there if I wanted to live.

I hadn't witnessed the assassination, but I had been in the apartment and the killers had seen me there. Thus, I would be next to be assassinated unless I left.

I went out into the hall and went towards the stairway that went down to the 1st floor. Just before I got there, a tall, really handsome blonde guy was coming up the stairs. I knew he was looking for me. This was the nameless woman's boyfriend. He was one of the assassins.

He came up to me and smiled broadly. He was about the same height as me. I'm 5' 10" tall... he was about the same ... give or take an inch.

I knew what he was there for ... he was about to wipe me out like the guy on the first floor.

However, I saw my son (whom I shall not name for good reason). coming up the stairs to visit me. Numerous other people were on the stairs as well coming up to the third floor which as far as the stairs went.  These were all students.

I felt that the safest place for me was with the students. Nothing could happen to me while I was surrounded by the students.  

The blonde guy came up to me, trying to befriend me. He tried to hold my hand and get cozy. He began to sing to me. He had a beautiful voice and sang beautiful words ... but I knew he was there to assassinate me and I couldn't allow that to happen if I was to do the job I had come there to do.

I went to the stairway, and the blonde guy couldn't do anything but follow me, but he couldn't do anything while I had the students there.

I told my son to follow me and went to the stairway and descended the stairs as fast as my feet could go. That was fast. I was now on the second floor, and descended one more stairway the same way ... as fast as I could, with my son and the blonde guy behind him ... all the way to the 1st floor. The stairway was full of people, both ascending and descending.  I still felt safe with them around.

Down on the 1st floor, the school rooms were.  The principal's office was right across from the apartment where the master mechanic had been assassinated.

There I saw the spiritual woman who was doing a wonderful job out in the hallway with the other people, pretending to be something she was not. She was a co-assassin and wanted me dead.  She smiled at me with a frozen smile while her eyes were wishing me death.

I knew that I could not be her friend and never could and I would have to leave the school/apartment building.  The competition over the website had to be left behind.


10-30-00 - VISION - I saw a black box like a movie theatre announcement . it said   THE FIREBURNER - ALAN ALFORD

I then slipped into a short dream in which I was writing a long e-mail and I typed in the title - THE FIREBURNER - ALAN ALFORD

Then I met a woman named Jeanine who I knew when I was younger. She told me that Alan Alford had six daughters and they were all named after flames.


10-30-00 - VISIONS - I was really tired so I lay down ... actually a little depressed as well.  I began to see people walking around as soon as my eyes were closed.  I thought I heard the telephone ring, but Joe didn't come to get me. I found myself in a room, sitting at a long table. A blonde woman standing up on the other side of the table and waved her hand at me to shut up, so I did.  

I then heard a loud knock which I knew was in my head. I said mentally, "what do you want?" and some other people started telling me what I should do. ( I can't remember any of that)

I then finally went to sleep and had a nightmare about my ex-husband Ed. I knew when I woke up that I was creating my future reality by what I was doing, my suspicions, my looking for bad things to happen, my depressions itself would be a cause for how the other person reacted to me. I was smelling Ed's breath for marijuana and booze. I was expecting him to help with things and he wasn't, he was just walking around doing what he felt like doing.

Ed left with one of our kids (we never had kids together) he came back and said that he had taken the car downtown to have the oil changed.  He said it took an hour and a half. He said that he told the man that he could buy cocaine faster than that and the garage man had told him that the oil was too thin, so that's why it took so long. That didn't make any sense to me.

In the beginning of the dream I was wearing a red dress with a red robe over it, and thought I wasn't dressed so I pulled on a pair of green flowered slacks, and then was trying to remember if I had the red dress on under the green slacks. I didn't even know.

I was picking up cut up pieces of paper which were all over the floor. They looked like someone had written notes and letters and then took a scissors to them before throwing them down. But I had to pick them all up. Nobody else bothered to do this.  

I knew that Ed expeced a perfect house and I was trying to quickly do this before he came back but I wasn't making very good progress.  Some other people were in the house. One woman started telling me how to lose weight. I told her I wasn't concerned with that at the moment, as I had to clean.

The furnace came on several times and it sounded different each time and I didn't want to stand over it in case it blew up.

Finally Ed came back and walked through the messy house which I was still trying to clean up. I opened a closet door to get out a brown garbage bag to put all the trash in. There were numerous bags stashed in there since I had used them to move into this house.

I was kneeling on the floor by a chair, separating the cut up paper and separating it from Christmas cards which had been strung across the room at some recent time.

Ed walked right over a couple green pillowcased pillows without picking them up.  An old man who looked like my first husband's deceased father came the other direction, and I handed him one of the pillows and asked him to pass it to Ed so he could carry it with him as it had to go that way.  

I was getting more and more depressed and then I started to wonder if there was going to be any romance between us. So far, there was no hugging or kissing, just expecting me to be there and do all the work with no effort on his part.  

I woke up not even knowing where I was.  It was way too real.


10-31-00  - DREAM - I was at a computer, looking at files about ETs. They were being stretched all out of proportion.  It was being sent in an e-mail.  The sender was from WSU.  (Washington State University?)

I then was shown drawings of ETs, which were separated out from a collection of drawings of ETs. These two were stretched all out of proportion.  I could see one of the tiny greys behind the drawings holding them up for me to see.  The ET had a symbol on the front of his little chest.  It was the symbol for the 4 directions. I've seen this before but I don't know where.


10-31-00 - DREAM - I came home from somewhere.  I was living with a lot of adult people. New carpeting had been installed on the stairway. It looked like a long, soft Indian blanket. It was tacked on the edges so no one would trip on it.

I heard someone comment that they hoped that no cats were underneath it.  

When I came into my apartment, I looked at all the faces of the sleeping people who were on the couch. I knew them all.  They were lined up like dead cordwood.

There were some other men there, who I don't know their faces, but they were helping get through the maze of furniture.


10-31-00 - DREAM - I was with some women.  One woman was preparing to get married to a guy and was all excited.  Another woman who was Vicky from One Life to Live, decided she wanted to thrwart this marriage, so she went to the minister and told him a sob story about her being in the middle of the marriage ceremony and a storm came up and he was killed so she never got to say her part of the vows.  The minister said that he would let her say her part of the vows so they would be legally married.  However, she got distracted by her sexual urges and never completed the vows. So her marriage wasn't legal either.  (I think the man she said she was going to marry was conqui or conche)  That's a wild guess .. it was something like that.


10-31-00 I woke up and decided to go back and try to finished the dream, but I had this one instead.

DREAM - I was outside with some men. There was a computer inside a baby buggy and there was a technician there who was trying to disconnect the computer and he wasn't finding all the connections to disconnect.  I knew that there was more than one connection and I thought I knew where it was, so he said I should shows him where it was.

I put my head down under the hood of the baby buggy which was made of wicker, and smelled beer really strongly. I could see a glass of some liquid ahead of the baby buggy and moved that and the smell went away.  

While I was looking for the connection I thught I had seen, the men were discussing a child.  The man was in charge of the child while his wife was off doing something.  The child was not in it's crib and the men were discussing where the baby should be meanwhile.

I looked closely at the computer connections and every one of them had been removed, so the computer couldn't possibly work at all.