Dee Finney's blog


July 20, 2011


today's date May 18, 2013


page 497






5-19-13 - DREAM -  I lived in a big city somewhere and lived with a locksmith and his brother.  His name was Brian.  He was a tall blonde guy.


It wasn't a large business, but they did work in more than one state.


We got a call from a woman one afternoon, who said she needed her locks changed on the following Friday in the city of Stoughton.


(Google shows map of Stoughton in both Wisconsin and Massachusetts)  I used to do locksmith dispatching in Wisconsin for seven years.)


I didn't yet have the woman's whole address yet, and I was writing on an old napkin on the desk because I didn't even have a fresh piece of paper handy on the desk.  


While I was still talking to the woman on the phone, she showed up at the door, so she must have been calling me from a cell phone.


I apparently was living in an apartment with a long hallway and I lived way at the back of the building.


I let the woman into the apartment to get the rest of the information and we started to get acquainted with each other.


I told her that I understood her situation as I had been through it many times myself.


We lay down on the bed to talk and she told me that she had run away from her boyfriend but she needed her locks changed when she went home the following Friday.


I knew what a scary situation that was for her.


About then, Brian came home and found us two women laying on the bed together, so he got friendly and climbed onto the bed with me and attempted to get between us two women.


I grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him over me to the edge of the bed and told him, "No! You get on the outside!"


The pretty blonde woman sat up on the bed and talking fast and excitedly to Brian, she said to him, "You know I feel very close to her already.  She understands my situation.  She really gets it!"


Brian said to me, "Tell her about the time when you were so hungry, all you had in the house was a tablespoon of grape jelly in the cupboard, and your kids wouldn't buy you any food!"


The woman gasped at that information and asked me, "And did your kids get you more jelly?" and I answered, "No! They didn't!" and she gasped again to hear my answer.


By that time, I had gotten off the bed and opened the cupboard door and showed her that all I had in it was about twelve 1/2 pints of dried red beans and I told the woman, "I picked up these beans at a Mexican festival last week."   (That would have been Cinco De Mayo.)


Cinco de Mayo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - Similarto Cinco de Mayo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for "fifth of May") is a celebration held on May 5. It is celebrated in the United States and regionally in Mexico, primarily in the state of Puebla ...

History - Significance - Consequences to the United States - Observances


I explained to the woman, "Some day I'm going to find me a man who will take care of me and feed me!"  and I knew that Brian would feel guilty at what I said because Brian hadn't offered to take care of me, he just slept with me in my apartment.


The woman felt sorry for me and went to the door and started to leave and walked down the hall of the building.  She got to the door of the building and came rushing back down the hall and back into the apartment with fear on her face and right behind her came a yellow car, driving down the hall to get her. It was her boyfriend and he looked like he was going to beat her and drag her back home with him.






I knew that fear and I instantly woke up, feeling that recognition that the woman could have been me and I knew it!


Oppose the violence against Women Act!


Published on Feb 10, 2013

There are many reasons to be opposed to the VAWA-- domestic violence should not be an issue handed by the federal government. There is no real proof that it has prevented domestic violence and it promotes ugly stereotypes about men and women. Radical feminists portray men as violent predators and women as helpless victims-- shame on them. About 40 percent of victims of domestic violence are men.

Follow me on Twitter:

Like me on Facebook:


Vague definitions of domestic violence:

40 percent of victims of domestic violence are men:

Half of all partner violence is mutual:

Cost $660 million:

Reasons to Oppose the So-Called Violence Against Women Act:

This video is my opinion and my opinion only. It does not represent the views of any organization. My channel is my personal YouTube channel.




Stoughton, Massachusetts was named for the Chief Justice named Stoughton who was in charge of the Salem Witch Trials.,_Massachusetts



Irish Names, Gaelic Names

Used in:

English and Gaelic speaking countries

Additional info:

The name Brian has historically enjoyed popularity in Ireland, no doubt influenced by Brian Boru, a great High King of Ireland. The name is shared by Queen guitarist Brian May, 'The Beach Boys' songwriter Brian Wilson, former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and cricketer Brian Lara.

'Monty Python's The Life of Brian' is a comedy film about a man mistaken for the Messiah.


The meaning of Brian

Origin: Celtic

Meaning: In use in England since the Middle Ages. Possibly connected with the Irish word for Hill thus 'He ascends.'. Also some texts define it as Strong. 10th century Brian Boru was a high king and great national hero of Ireland.

Origin: English

Meaning: Brought to England by the Breton companions of William the Conqueror, this name is originally derived from the Irish word for hill.


Origin: Norse

Meaning: Strong.


Origin: Welsh

Meaning: Legendary son of Turenn. 'Strong'.






From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Violence against women is a technical term used to collectively refer to violent acts that are primarily or exclusively committed against women. Similar to a hate crime, this type of violence targets a specific group with the victim's gender as a primary motive.

The United Nations General Assembly defines "violence against women" as "any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life." The 1993 Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women noted that this violence could be perpetrated by assailants of either gender, family members and even the "State" itself.[1]

Worldwide governments and organizations actively work to combat violence against women through a variety of programs. A UN resolution designated 25 November as International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.[2]


History of violence against women

A world map showing countries by women's physical security, 2011.

Some historians believe that the history of violence against women is tied to the history of women being viewed as property and a gender role assigned to be subservient to men and also other women.[3]

The UN Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women (1993) states that "violence against women is a manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women, which have led to domination over and discrimination against women by men and to the prevention of the full advancement of women, and that violence against women is one of the crucial social mechanisms by which women are forced into a subordinate position compared with men.”[4][5]

In the 1870s courts in the United States stopped recognizing the common-law principle that a husband had the right to "physically chastise an errant wife".[6] In the UK the traditional right of a husband to inflict moderate corporal punishment on his wife in order to keep her "within the bounds of duty" was removed in 1891.[7][8]

The Quran verse An-Nisa, 34 has been interpreted as supporting wife-beating (See Islam and domestic violence).[9]

Impact on society

The World Health Organization reports that violence against women puts an undue burden on health care services with women who have suffered violence being more likely to need health services and at higher cost, compared to women who have not suffered violence.[10] Several studies have shown a link between poor treatment of women and international violence. These studies show that one of the best predictors of inter- and intranational violence is the maltreatment of women in the society.[11][12]

Types of violence

Domestic violence

Women are more likely to be victimized by someone that they are intimate with, commonly called "Intimate Partner Violence" or (IPV). The impact of domestic violence in the sphere of total violence against women can be understood through the example that 40–70% of murders of women are committed by their husband or boyfriend.[13] Studies have shown that violence is not always perpetrated as a form of physical violence but can also be psychological and verbal.[14][15] In unmarried relationships this is commonly called dating violence, whereas in the context of marriage it is called domestic violence. Instances of IPV tend not to be reported to police and thus many experts believe that the true magnitude of the problem is hard to estimate.[16] Women are much more likely than men to be murdered by an intimate partner. In the United States, in 2005, 1181 women, in comparison with 329 men, were killed by their intimate partners.[17][18] In England and Wales about 100 women are killed by partners or former partners each year while 21 men were killed in 2010.[19] In 2008, in France, 156 women in comparison with 27 men were killed by their intimate partner.[20]

Though this form of violence is often portrayed as an issue within the context of heterosexual relationships, it also occurs in lesbian relationships,[21] daughter-mother relationships, roommate relationships and other domestic relationships involving two women. Violence against women in lesbian relationships is about as common as violence against women in heterosexual relationships.[22]

Diagnosis planning

The American Psychiatric Association planning and research committees for the forthcoming DSM-5 (2013) have canvassed a series of new Relational disorders which include Marital Conflict Disorder Without Violence or Marital Abuse Disorder (Marital Conflict Disorder With Violence).[23] Couples with marital disorders sometimes come to clinical attention because the couple recognize long-standing dissatisfaction with their marriage and come to the clinician on their own initiative or are referred by an astute health care professional. Secondly, there is serious violence in the marriage which is -"usually the husband battering the wife".[24] In these cases the emergency room or a legal authority often is the first to notify the clinician. Most importantly, marital violence "is a major risk factor for serious injury and even death and women in violent marriages are at much greater risk of being seriously injured or killed (National Advisory Council on Violence Against Women 2000)."[25] The authors of this study add that "There is current considerable controversy over whether male-to-female marital violence is best regarded as a reflection of male psychopathology and control or whether there is an empirical base and clinical utility for conceptualizing these patterns as relational."[25]

Recommendations for clinicians making a diagnosis of Marital Relational Disorder should include the assessment of actual or "potential" male violence as regularly as they assess the potential for suicide in depressed patients. Further, "clinicians should not relax their vigilance after a battered wife leaves her husband, because some data suggest that the period immediately following a marital separation is the period of greatest risk for the women. Many men will stalk and batter their wives in an effort to get them to return or punish them for leaving. Initial assessments of the potential for violence in a marriage can be supplemented by standardized interviews and questionnaires, which have been reliable and valid aids in exploring marital violence more systematically."[25]

The authors conclude with what they call "very recent information"[9] on the course of violent marriages which suggests that "over time a husband's battering may abate somewhat, but perhaps because he has successfully intimidated his wife. The risk of violence remains strong in a marriage in which it has been a feature in the past. Thus, treatment is essential here; the clinician cannot just wait and watch."[9] The most urgent clinical priority is the protection of the wife because she is the one most frequently at risk, and clinicians must be aware that supporting assertiveness by a battered wife may lead to more beatings or even death.[9]

Mob violence

In 2010 Amnesty International reported that mob attacks against single women were taking place in Hassi Messaoud, Algeria.[26] According to Amnesty International, "some women have been sexually abused" and were targeted "not just because they are women, but because they are living alone and are economically independent."[26]

State violence

War and militarism

"Brennus and His Share of the Spoils", by Paul Jamin, 1893.

Militarism produces special environments that allow for increased violence against women. War rapes have accompanied warfare in virtually every known historical era.[27] Rape in the course of war is mentioned multiple times in the Bible: "For I will gather all the nations against Jerusalem to battle, and the city shall be taken and the houses plundered and the women raped..." Zechariah 14:2 "Their little children will be dashed to death before their eyes. Their homes will be sacked, and their wives will be raped."Isaiah 13:16

War rapes are rapes committed by soldiers, other combatants or civilians during armed conflict or war, or during military occupation, distinguished from sexual assaults and rape committed amongst troops in military service. It also covers the situation where women are forced into prostitution or sexual slavery by an occupying power. During World War II the Japanese military established brothels filled with "comfort women", girls and women who were forced into sexual slavery for soldiers, exploiting women for the purpose of creating access and entitlement for men. [28] [29][30]

Another example of violence against women incited by militarism during war took place in the Kovno Ghetto. Jewish male prisoners had access to (and used) Jewish women forced into camp brothels by the Nazis, who also used them.[31]

Rape was committed during the Bangladesh Liberation War by members of the Pakistani military and the militias that supported them. Over a period of nine months, hundreds of thousands of women were raped. Susan Brownmiller, in her report on the atrocities, said that girls from the age of eight to grandmothers of seventy-five suffered attacks. (See also: Rape during the Bangladesh Liberation War)

Rape used as a weapon of war was practiced during the Bosnian War where rape was used as a highly systematized instrument of war by Serb armed forces predominantly targeting women and girls of the Bosniak ethnic group for physical and moral destruction. Estimates of the number of women raped during the war range from 50,000 to 60,000; as of 2010 only 12 cases have been prosecuted.[32] (See also Rape during the Bosnian War).

The 1998 International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda recognized rape as a war crime. Presiding judge Navanethem Pillay said in a statement after the verdict: "From time immemorial, rape has been regarded as spoils of war. Now it will be considered a war crime. We want to send out a strong message that rape is no longer a trophy of war."[33] (See also: Rwandan Genocide)

In 2006, five U.S. troops from a six-man unit gang raped and killed a 14-year-old girl in a village near the town of Al-Mahmudiyah, Iraq. After the rape the girl was shot in her head and the lower part of her body, from her stomach down to her feet, was set on fire.[34] [35] (See also: Mahmudiyah killings)

A 1995 study of female war veterans found that 90 percent had been sexually harassed. A 2003 survey found that 30 percent of female vets said they were raped in the military and a 2004 study of veterans who were seeking help for post-traumatic stress disorder found that 71 percent of the women said they were sexually assaulted or raped while serving.[36]

Violence in empowerment systems

When police officers misuse their power as agents of the state to physically and sexually harass and assault victims, the survivors, including women, feel much less able to report the violence.[37] It is standard procedure for police to force entry into the victim's home even after the victim's numerous requests for them to go away.[38] Government agencies often disregard the victim's right to freedom of association with their perpetrator.[39] Shelter workers are often reduced themselves to contributing to violence against women by exploiting their vulnerability in exchange for a paying job.[40]

Gender-based violence by male college athletes

Violence against women is a topic of concern in the United States' collegiate athletic community. From the 2010 UVA lacrosse murder, in which a male athlete was charged guilty with second degree murder of his girlfriend, to the 2004 University of Colorado Football Scandal when players were charged with nine alleged sexual assaults,[41] studies suggest that athletes are at higher risk for committing sexual assault against women than the average student.[42][43] It is reported that one in three college assaults are committed by athletes.[44] Surveys suggest that male student athletes who represent 3.3% of the college population, commit 19% of reported sexual assaults and 35% of domestic violence.[45] The theories that surround these statistics range from misrepresentation of the student-athlete to an unhealthy mentality towards women within the team itself.[44]

Controversy over contributing factors

Sociologist Timothy Curry, after conducting an observational analysis of two big time sports’ locker room conversations, deduced that the high risk of male student athletes for gender abuse is a result of the team’s subculture.[46] He states, "Their locker room talk generally treated women as objects, encouraged sexist attitudes toward women and, in its extreme, promoted rape culture."[46] He proposes that this objectification is a way for the male to reaffirm his heterosexual status and hyper-masculinity. Claims have been made that the atmosphere changes when an outsider (especially women) intrude in the locker room. In the wake of the reporter Lisa Olson being harassed by a Patriots player in the locker room in 1990, she reflected, "We are taught to think we must have done something wrong and it took me a while to realize I hadn't done anything wrong."[47] Other female sports reporters (college and professional) have claimed that they often brush off the players' comments which leads to further objectification.[47] Other sociologists challenge this claim. Steve Chandler notes that because of their celebrity status on campus, “athletes are more likely to be scrutinized or falsely accused than non-athletes.”[43] Another contender, Stephanie Mak, notes that, “if one considers the 1998 estimates that about three million women were battered and almost one million raped, the proportion of incidences that involve athletes in comparison to the regular population is relatively small."[44]

Response to violence by male college athletes

In response to the proposed link between college athletes and gender-based violence, and media coverage holding Universities as responsible for these scandals more universities are requiring athletes to attend workshops that promote awareness. For example, St. John's University holds sexual assault awareness classes in the fall for its incoming student athletes.[48] Other groups, such as the National Coalition Against Violent Athletes, have formed to provide support for the victims as their mission statement reads, "The NCAVA works to eliminate off the field violence by athletes through the implementation of prevention methods that recognize and promote the positive leadership potential of athletes within their communities. In order to eliminate violence, the NCAVA is dedicated to empowering individuals affected by athlete violence through comprehensive services including advocacy, education and counseling."[49]


Many activists believe that working towards the elimination of domestic violence means working to eliminate a societal hierarchy enforced through sexism. INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence cited racism within the anti-violence movement and suggest that violence against women will not end until the anti-violence movement re-directs its goal from "ending violence against women" to "ending violence against women of color."[50] The same conclusion can be drawn for other systems of oppression.

See also


  1. ^ United Nations General Assembly Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women (1993)
  2. ^ UN Resolution 54/134-''International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women''.
  3. ^ Penelope Harvey & Peter Gow Sex and violence : issues in representation and experience (1994) pg 36 Routledge ISBN 0-415-05734-5
  4. ^ A/RES/48/104. Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women. United Nations.
  5. ^ Addressing Gender-Based Violence: Advancing Human Rights. UNFPA.
  6. ^ Calvert R (1974). "Criminal and civil liability in husband-wife assaults". In Steinmetz S, Straus M. Violence in the family. New York: Harper & Row. pp. 88–91. 
  7. ^ R. v. Jackson [1891]. 1 Q.B. 671
  8. ^ Encyclopædia Britannica Eleventh Edition, 1911. Article Corporal punishment
  9. ^ a b c d Yotam Feldner, Middle East Quarterly, December 2000, pp. 41–50,
  10. ^ WHO Factsheet ''Violence against women''. World Health Organization (1 September 2011).
  11. ^ Maffly, Brian (21 March 2009). "BYU study links women's safety, nation's peace". The Salt Lake Tribune
  12. ^
  13. ^ "Intimate Partner Violence". World Health Organization. 2002. Retrieved 2007-09-04. 
  14. ^ A Pourreza; A Batebi; A Moussavi (2004). "A Survey about Knowledge and Attitudes of People towards Violence against Women in Community Family Settings". Iranian Public Health Journal 33 (2): 33–37. Retrieved 2007-09-04. 
  15. ^ Violence & Victimization Research Division's Compendium Of Research On Violence Against Women 1993–2005 1998-WT-VX-0014 pg 35, 1999-WT-VX-0014 pg 59[dead link]
  16. ^ "Intimate Partner Violence: Overview". Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2006. Retrieved 2007-09-04. 
  17. ^ CDC – Consequences – Intimate Partner Violence – Violence Prevention – Injury.
  18. ^
  19. ^ "All domestic abuse deaths to have multi-agency review". BBC. 13 April 2011. Retrieved 14 April 2011. 
  20. ^
  21. ^ Girshick, Lori B., "No Sugar, No Spice: Reflections on Research on Woman-to-Woman Sexual Violence." Violence Against Women Vol. 8 No. 12, December 2002, pgs. 1500–1520.
  22. ^ Fact Sheet: Lesbian Partner Violence.
  23. ^ First, M.B., Bell, C.C., Cuthbert, B., Krystal, J.H., Malison, R., Offord, D.R., Riess, D., Shea, T., Widiger, T., Wisner, K.L., Personality Disorders and Relational Disorders, pp.164,166 Chapter 4 of Kupfer, D.J., First, M.B., & Regier, D.A. A Research Agenda For DSM-V. Published by American Psychiatric Association (2002)
  24. ^ First, M.B., Bell, C.C., Cuthbert, B., Krystal, J.H., Malison, R., Offord, D.R., Riess, D., Shea, T., Widiger, T., Wisner, K.L., Personality Disorders and Relational Disorders, p.163, Chapter 4 of Kupfer, D.J., First, M.B., & Regier, D.A. A Research Agenda For DSM-V. Published by American Psychiatric Association (2002)
  25. ^ a b c First, M.B., Bell, C.C., Cuthbert, B., Krystal, J.H., Malison, R., Offord, D.R., Riess, D., Shea, T., Widiger, T., Wisner, K.L., Personality Disorders and Relational Disorders, p.166, Chapter 4 of Kupfer, D.J., First, M.B., & Regier, D.A. A Research Agenda For DSM-V. Published by American Psychiatric Association (2002)
  26. ^ a b "Algerian authorities must investigate and stop attacks against women". Amnesty International. Retrieved 13 August 2011. 
  27. ^ Levinson, Bernard M (2004). Gender and Law in the Hebrew Bible and the Ancient Near East. p. 203. ISBN 978-0-567-08098-1. 
  28. ^ "Why Soldiers Rape – Culture of misogyny, illegal occupation, fuel sexual violence in military"
  29. ^ Tessa Morris-Suzuki (March 8, 2007), Japan's 'Comfort Women': It's time for the truth (in the ordinary, everyday sense of the word), The Asia-Pacific Journal: Japan Focus, retrieved 2011-08-04 
  30. ^ WCCW 2004.
  31. ^ Dworkin, Andrea: Scapegoat: The Jews, Israel and Women's Liberation. pg. 316. Free Press, 2000. ISBN 0-684-83612-2
  32. ^
  33. ^ Quoted in citation for honorary doctorate, Rhodes University, April 2005 accessed at [1] March 23, 2007
  34. ^ "Soldier: 'Death walk' drives troops 'nuts' - Aug 8, 2006". Retrieved 2012-11-06. 
  35. ^ "US ex-soldier guilty of Iraq rape". BBC News. 2009-05-07. 
  36. ^ "The Nation: The Plight of Women Soldiers"
  37. ^ Barbara Laker and Wendy Ruderman, hosted by Terry Gross (3 May 2010). "Covering 'Tainted Justice' And Winning A Pulitzer". Fresh Air. NPR. WHYY.
  38. ^ Professor Jeannie Suk, At Home in the Law: How the Domestic Violence Revolution Is Transforming Privacy, Yale University Press, 27 October 2009.
  39. ^ Cheryl Hanna, "No Right to Choose: Mandated Victim Participation in Domestic Violence Prosecutions," Harvard Law Review, 1996, Vol. 109, pp.1850–1910.
  40. ^ Koyama, Emi "Disloyal to feminism: Abuse of survivors within the domestic violence shelter system." in Smith A, Richie BE, Sudbury J, eds. The Color of Violence: INCITE! Anthology. Cambridge, Mass.: South End Press, 2006. ISBN 0-89608-762-X
  41. ^ Vaughan, Kevin. "Colorado woman seeks justice in alleged sexual assault Read more: Colorado woman seeks justice in alleged sexual assault". denver Post. Retrieved 17 April 2012. 
  42. ^ Brady, Jeff. "Scandal Returns to University of Colorado Football". NPR weekend edition. NPR. Retrieved 12 March 2012. 
  43. ^ a b Chandler, Steve B; JOHNSON, DEWAYNE J. CARROLL, PAMELA S. (12/01/1999). "Abusive Behaviors of College Athletes". College Student Journal 33 (4). 
  44. ^ a b c Mak, Stephanie. "Are Athletes More Abusive Than the Rest of the Student Population?". Hopkins Undergraduate Research Journal Online. Retrieved 12 March 2012. 
  45. ^ "Statistics". The National Coalition Against Violent Athletes. Retrieved 12 March 2012. 
  46. ^ a b Curry, Timothy Jon (1991). "Fraternal Bonding in the Locker Room: A Profeminist Analysis Of Talk About Competition And Women". Sociology of Sport Journal 8 (2): 119–135. Retrieved 12 March 2012. 
  47. ^ a b Disch, Lisa; Kane, Mary Jo (Winter 1996). "When a Looker is Really a Bitch: Lisa Olson, Sport, and the Heterosexual Matrix". Signs 21 (2): 278–308. Retrieved 17 April 2012. 
  48. ^ Newsom, John. "Share on emailShare on redditMore Sharing Services Few Colleges Tackle Issue of Athlete Sex Assaults". Los Angeles Times Online. Retrieved 12 March 2012. 
  49. ^ "Mission". National Coalition Against Violent Athletes. Retrieved 12 March 2012. 
  50. ^ INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence: Color of Violence: The INCITE! Anthology. pg 4. South End Press, 2006. ISBN 0-89608-762-X

External links



My favorite ‘anarchist’  is stephan molyneux.  Have you read any of his books?  I have “Everyday Anarchy” and “Practical Anarchy”.  Fortunately there is another name for people like us now—is it called “Volunteerism” which is much less offensive to people and is actually more to the point of what we believe.