compiled by Dee Finney


Note from Dee:  

I had a dream last night which I titled, "The Shower Curtain Hypothesis",
in which I knew that if I could push the shower curtains aside, of which there
were many hanging on a great number of rings, that there would be someone
behind it.

I had the feeling that there was more to this dream than just walking into a
room where there was a shower curtain hanging, because there were so many
rings on the rod from which the multiple curtains were hanging, and the words
'Ring-Pass-Not' came to mind.

Thus came this page, which helped me to understand what a 'ring-pass-not'
was.  This page, I hope will help others to understand what this is as well.

The Shower Curtain Hypothesis - A Dream

There was nothing abnormal about this dream, except for one thing. There was a series
of shower curtains hanging on a rod between me and whatever was on the other side. I
looked at them. There were about 50 rings on the rod. (I don't know the exact number)
and shower curtains hung from the rings.  There was nothing special about the shower
curtains. They were white to colorless, yet opaque and I felt that if I pushed aside the
shower curtain, there would be someone standing there I couldn't now see.



Ring-Pass-Not - By G. de Purucker

A profoundly mystical and suggestive term signifying the circle or bounds or frontiers within which is contained the consciousness of those who are still under the sway of the delusion of separateness -- and this applies whether the ring be large or small. It does not signify any one especial occasion or condition, but is a general term applicable to any state in which an entity, having reached a certain stage of evolutionary growth of the unfolding of consciousness, finds itself unable to pass into a still higher state because of some delusion under which the consciousness is laboring, be that delusion mental or spiritual. There is consciously a ring-pass-not for every globe of the planetary chain, a ring-pass-not for the planetary chain itself, a ring-pass-not for the solar system, and so forth. It is the entities who labor under the delusion who therefore actually create their own rings-pass-not, for these are not actual entitative material frontiers, but boundaries of consciousness.

A ring-pass-not furthermore may perhaps be said with great truth to be somewhat of the nature of a spiritual laya-center or point of transmission between plane and plane of consciousness.

The rings-pass-not as above said, however, have to do with phases or states of consciousness only. For instance, the ring-pass-not for the beasts is self-consciousness, i.e., the beasts have not yet been enabled to develop forth their consciousness to the point of self-consciousness or reflective consciousness except in minor degree. A dog, for example, located in a room which it desires to leave, will run to a door out of which it is accustomed to go and will sit there whining for the door to be opened. Its consciousness recognizes the point of egress, but it has not developed the self-conscious mental activity to open the door.

A general ring-pass-not for humanity is their inability to self-consciously participate in spiritual self-consciousness.

Ring-pass-not by Theosophical University Press

The limit in spiritual, intellectual, or psychological power or consciousness, beyond which an individual is unable to pass until he evokes from within the strength and the vision to carry him forwards and over the circumscribing limits set by that individual's own karma. In the Stanzas of Dzyan, the lipikas are said to circumscribe the triangle, the first one, the cube, the second one, and the pentacle within the egg, which is the ring called pass not for those who descend and ascend and for those who are progressing toward the great Day Be-With-Us. Also called the dhyanipasa (rope of the dhyanis or angels) that hedges off the phenomenal from the noumenal kosmos. The world circumscribed by this ring is signified mathematically by 31415 = 14 expressing hierarchies of dhyan-chohans. The embodying monads, and men who are ascending towards purification but have not yet quite reached the goal, can cross the ring only on the Day Be-With-Us, the day when man will have freed himself from the trammels of ignorance and recognized fully the nonseparateness of his personal ego from the universal ego, and returns into conscious at-one-ness with Brahman.

These ring-pass-not are therefore obviously not actual rings of matter, but inabilities to pass beyond the limits set by one's own strength. They refer to tangible and intangible, albeit temporarily impassible, frontiers or barriers raised by past karma and guarded by the lipikas, those cosmic spirits of extremely mystical character who are at the same time the guardians and agents of karma.

The term is variable, inasmuch as what would be the ring-pass-not for the human hierarchy would not be so to a superior hierarchy. Similarly the ring-pass-not for the beings below the human kingdom is not a boundary for humans. This has an especial reference to states of consciousness, and the majority of the human host is still unable to extend its consciousness beyond the sphere of man's immediate activities -- which thus at present form for humanity an intangible but very real ring-pass-not. There is a ring-pass-not surrounding globe D, this earth, and a ring of farther extension surrounding the earth planetary-chain, and beyond that still another surrounding the solar system, and a still larger one circumscribing the galaxy, etc.

On Seed Thoughts....

The choosing of a word or a phrase as the subject of the meditation establishes the ring-pass-not of the topic or region of mental focus. The seed thought is chosen for its effect in service upon some aspect of spiritual work, or in some phase of the search for wisdom. The seed thought is to be pondered in terms of its form, its quality (soul), and its purpose or significance. Consideration of the purpose and significance of the seed thought puts one in contact with the originating idea or spirit behind the form.

The Secret Doctrine - (Vol 1 p 129)  by Helena P. Blavatsky


The Stanza proceeds with a minute classification of the Orders of Angelic Hierarchy. From the group of Four and Seven emanates the "mind-born" group of Ten, of Twelve, of Twenty-one, etc., all these divided again into sub-groups of septenaries, novenaries, duodecimals, and so on, until the mind is lost in this endless enumeration of celestial hosts and Beings, each having its distinct task in the ruling of the visible Kosmos during its existence.

(a) The esoteric meaning of the first sentence of the Sloka is, that those who have been called Lipikas, the Recorders of the Karmic ledger, make an impassible barrier between the personal EGO and the impersonal SELF, the Noumenon and Parent-Source of the former. Hence the allegory. They circumscribe the manifested world of matter within the RING "Pass-Not." This world is the symbol (objective) of the ONE divided into the many, on the planes of Illusion, of Adi (the "First") or of Eka (the "One"); and this One is the collective aggregate, or totality, of the principal Creators or Architects of this visible universe. In Hebrew Occultism their name is both Achath, feminine, "One," and Achod, "One" again, but masculine. The monotheists have taken (and are still taking) advantage of the profound esotericism of the Kabala to apply the name by which the One Supreme Essence is known to ITS manifestation, the Sephiroth-Elohim, and call it Jehovah. But this is quite arbitrary and against all reason and logic, as the term Elohim is a plural noun, identical with the plural word Chiim, often compounded with the Elohim.* Moreover, in Occult metaphysics there are, properly speaking, two "ONES" -- the One on the unreachable plane of Absoluteness and Infinity, on which no speculation is possible, and the Second "One" on the plane of Emanations. The former can neither emanate nor be divided, as it is eternal, absolute, and immutable. The Second, being, so to speak, the reflection of the first One (for it is the Logos, or Iswara, in the Universe of Illusion), can do all this.** It emanates from itself -- as the upper Sephirothal Triad emanates the lower seven Sephiroth -- the seven Rays or Dhyan Chohans; in other words, the Homogeneous becomes the Heterogeneous, the "Protyle" differentiates into the Elements. But these, unless they return into their primal Element, can never cross beyond the Laya, or zero-point.

Hence the allegory. The Lipika separate the world (or plane) of pure spirit from that of Matter. Those who "descend and ascend" -- the incarnating Monads, and men striving towards purification and "ascending," but still not having quite reached the goal -- may cross the "circle of the Pass-Not," only on the day "Be-With-Us"; that day when man, freeing himself from the trammels of ignorance, and recognizing fully the non-separateness of the Ego within his personality -- erroneously regarded as his own -- from the UNIVERSAL EGO (Anima Supra-Mundi), merges thereby into the One Essence to become not only one "with us" (the manifested universal lives which are "ONE" LIFE), but that very life itself.

Astronomically, the "Ring PASS-NOT" that the Lipika trace around the Triangle, the First One, the Cube, the Second One, and the Pentacle to circumscribe these figures, is thus shown to contain the symbol of 31415 again, or the coefficient constantly used in mathematical tables (the value of , pi), the geometrical figures standing here for numerical figures. According to the general philosophical teachings, this ring is beyond the region of what are called nebulae in astronomy. But this is as erroneous a conception as that of the topography and the descriptions, given in Puranic and other exoteric Scriptures, about the 1008 worlds of the Devaloka worlds and firmaments. There are worlds, of course, in the esoteric as well as in the profane scientific teachings, at such incalculable distances that the light of the nearest of them which has just reached our modern Chaldees, had left its luminary long before the day on which the words "Let there be Light" were pronounced; but these are no worlds on the Devaloka plane, but in our Kosmos.

The chemist goes to the laya or zero point of the plane of matter with which he deals, and then stops short. The physicist or the astronomer counts by billions of miles beyond the nebulae, and then they also stop short; the semi-initiated Occultist will represent this laya-point to himself as existing on some plane which, if not physical, is still conceivable to the human intellect. But the full Initiate knows that the ring "Pass-Not" is neither a locality nor can it be measured by distance, but that it exists in the absoluteness of infinity. In this "Infinity" of the full Initiate there is neither height, breadth nor thickness, but all is fathomless profundity, reaching down from the physical to the "para-para-metaphysical." In using the word "down," essential depth -- "nowhere and everywhere" -- is meant, not depth of physical matter.

If one searches carefully through the exoteric and grossly anthropomorphic allegories of popular religions, even in these the doctrine embodied in the circle of "Pass-Not" thus guarded by the Lipika, may be dimly perceived. Thus one finds it even in the teachings of the Vedantin sect of the Visishtadwaita, the most tenaciously anthropomorphic in all India. For we read of the released soul that: -- After reaching Moksha (a state of bliss meaning "release from Bandha" or bondage), bliss is enjoyed by it in a place called PARAMAPADHA, which place is not material, but made of Suddasatwa (the essence, of which the body of Iswara -- "the Lord" -- is formed). There, Muktas or Jivatmas (Monads) who have attained Moksha, are never again subject to the qualities of either matter or Karma. "But if they choose, for the sake of doing good to the world, they may incarnate on Earth."* The way to Paramapadha, or the immaterial worlds, from this world, is called Devayana. When a person has attained Moksha and the body dies: --

"The Jiva (Soul) goes with Sukshma Sarira** from the heart of the body, to the Brahmarandra in the crown of the head, traversing Sushumna, a nerve connecting the heart with the Brahmarandra. The Jiva breaks through the Brahmarandra and goes to the region of the Sun (Suryamandala) through the solar Rays. Then it goes, through a dark spot in the Sun, to Paramapadha. The Jiva is directed on its way by the Supreme Wisdom acquired by Yoga.*** The Jiva thus proceeds to Paramapadha by the aid of Athivahikas (bearers in transit), known by the names of Archi-Ahas . . . Aditya, Prajapati, etc. The Archis here mentioned are certain pure Souls, etc., etc." (Visishtadwaita Catechism, by Pundit Bhashyacharya, F.T.S.)

No Spirit except the "Recorders" (Lipika) has ever crossed its forbidden line, nor will any do so until the day of the next Pralaya, for it is the boundary that separates the finite -- however infinite in man's sight -- from the truly INFINITE. The Spirits referred to, therefore, as those who "ascend and descend" are the "Hosts" of what we loosely call "celestial Beings." But they are, in fact, nothing of the kind.

They are Entities of the higher worlds in the hierarchy of Being, so immeasurably high that, to us, they must appear as Gods, and collectively -- GOD. But so we, mortal men, must appear to the ant, which reasons on the scale of its special capacities. The ant may also, for all we know, see the avenging finger of a personal God in the hand of the urchin who, in one moment, under the impulse of mischief, destroys its anthill, the labour of many weeks -- long years in the chronology of insects. The ant, feeling it acutely, and attributing the undeserved calamity to a combination of Providence and sin, may also, like man, see in it the result of the sin of its first parent. Who knows and who can affirm or deny? The refusal to admit in the whole Solar system of any other reasonable and intellectual beings on the human plane, than ourselves, is the greatest conceit of our age. All that science has a right to affirm, is that there are no invisible Intelligences living under the same conditions as we do. It cannot deny point-blank the possibility of there being worlds within worlds, under totally different conditions to those that constitute the nature of our world; nor can it deny that there may be a certain limited communication* between some of those worlds and our own. To the highest, we are taught, belong the seven orders of the purely divine Spirits; to the six lower ones belong hierarchies that can occasionally be seen and heard by men, and who do communicate with their progeny of the Earth; which progeny is indissolubly linked with them, each principle in man having its direct source in the nature of those great Beings, who furnish us with the respective invisible elements in us. Physical Science is welcome to speculate upon the physiological mechanism of living beings, and to continue her fruitless efforts in trying to resolve our feelings, our sensations, mental and spiritual, into functions of their inorganic vehicles. Nevertheless, all that will ever be accomplished in this direction has already been done, and Science will go no farther.

* The greatest philosopher of European birth, Immanuel Kant, assures us that such a communication is in no way improbable. "I confess I am much disposed to assert the existence of Immaterial natures in the world, and to place my own soul in the class of these beings. It will hereafter, I know not where, or when, yet be proved that the human soul stands even in this life in indissoluble connection with all immaterial natures in the spirit-world, that it reciprocally acts upon these and receives impressions from them." (Traume eines Geistersehers, quoted by C. C. Massey, in his preface to Von Hartmann's "Spiritismus.")

The Garden

An Excerpt from Ancient Qabbalistic Legend

In this ritualistic drama - possibly derived from the Egyptians - Adam, banished from the Garden of Eden, represents man philosophically exiled from the sphere of Truth. Through ignorance man falls; through wisdom he redeems himself .

The Garden of Eden represents the House of the Mysteries in the midst of which grew both the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Man, the banished Adam seeks to pass from the outer court of the Sanctuary (the exterior universe) into the sanctum sanctorum, but before him rises a vast creature armed with a flashing sword that moving slowly but continually, sweeps clear a wide circle, and through this "Ring Pass Not" the Adamic man cannot break.

The cherubim address the seeker thus: "Man, thou art dust and to dust thou shalt return. Thou wert fashioned by the Builder of Forms; thou belongest to the sphere of form, and the breath that was breathed into thy soul was the breath of form and like a flame it shall flicker out. More than thou art thou canst not be. Thou art a denizen of the outer world and it is forbidden thee to enter this inner place."

And the Adam replies: "Many times have I stood within this courtyard and begged admission to my Father's house and thou hast refused me and sent me back to wander in darkness. True it is that I was fashioned out of the dirt and that my Maker could not confer upon me the boon of immortality. But no more shalt thou send me away; for, wandering in the darkness, I have discovered that the Almighty hath decreed my salvation because He hath sent out of the most hidden Mystery His Only Begotten who didst take upon Himself the world fashioned by the Demiurgus. Upon the elements of that world was He crucified and from Him hath poured forth the blood of my salvation. And God, entering into His creation, hath quickened it and established therein a road that leadeth to Himself. While my Maker could not give me immortality, immortality was inherent in the very dust of which I was composed, for before the world was fabricated and before the Demiurgus became the Regent of Nature the Eternal Life had impressed itself upon the face of Cosmos. This is its sign - the Cross. Do you now deny me entrance, I who have at last learned the mystery of myself?"

And the voice replies: "He who is aware, IS! Behold!"

Gazing about him, Adam finds himself in a radiant place, in the midst of which stands a tree with flashing jewels for fruit and entwined about its trunk a flaming, winged serpent crowned with a diadem of stars. It was the voice of the serpent that had spoken.

"Who art thou?" demands the Adam.

"I", the serpent answers, "am Satan who was stoned; I am the Adversary - the Lord who is against you, the one who pleads for your destruction before the Eternal Tribunal. I was your enemy upon the day that you were formed; I have led you into temptation; I have delivered you into the hands of evil; I have maligned you; I have striven ever to achieve your undoing. I am the guardian of the Tree of Knowledge and I have sworn that none whom I can lead astray shall partake of its fruits."

The Adam replies: "For uncounted ages have I been thy servant. In my ignorance I listened to thy words and they led me into paths of sorrow. Thou hast placed in my mind dreams of power, and when I struggled to realize those dreams they brought me naught but pain. Thou hast sowed in me the seeds of desire, and when I lusted after the things of the flesh agony was my only recompense. Thou hast sent me false prophets and false reasoning, and when I strove to grasp the magnitude of Truth I found thy laws were false and only dismay rewarded my strivings. I am done with thee forever, 0 artful Spirit! I have tired of thy world of illusions. No longer will I labor in thy vineyards of iniquity. Get thee behind me, tempter, and the host of thy temptations. There is no happiness, no peace, no good, no future in the doctrines of selfishness, hate, and passion preached by thee. All these things do I cast aside. Renounced is thy rule forever!"

And the serpent makes answer: "Behold, O Adam, the nature of thy Adversary !" The serpent disappears in a blinding sunburst of radiance and in its place stands an angel resplendent in shining, golden garments with great scarlet wings that spread from one corner of the heavens to the other. Dismayed and awestruck, the Adam falls before the divine creature, "I am the Lord who is against thee and thus accomplishes thy salvation," continues the voice. "Thou hast hated me, but through the ages yet to come thou shalt bless me, for I have led thee out of the sphere of the Demiurgus; I have turned thee against the illusion of worldliness; I have weaned thee of desire; I have awakened in thy soul the immortality of which I myself partake. Follow me, O Adam, for I am the Way, the Life, and the Truth!"

* The above excerpt has been taken from "An Encyclopedic Outline of Masonic, Hermetic, Qabbalistic, and Rosicrucian Symbolical Philosophy" by Manly P. Hall.


Date: 7/8/2001

From: mondrar@xxx

To: Dee777@aol.com

I use a ring-pass-not every day. Actually every time I drive out of my
driveway. It goes like this:Ring pass not. No accidents, no incidents,
no car trouble. No attention from the police, no harm to living things.
Keep the creatures off the road, windshield, grill, and out from under
tires. Off the top, out of the sides, and out from under the bottom.
NO DEER! Keep them off the rear-- Yeaaaaa God!" You would
not believe how many times I should/could/ought to have been hurt
and wasn't. Now when I go on a trip (it's an hour and a half over 2
mountain ridges to get to the nearest Walmart/KMart/Target) and
return with a mundane and uneventful trip, I'm grateful. Deer are the
leading cause of auto insurance claims in the area- with roving herds
of 20 and more deer all over the place. Lots of drivers hit deer every

I was taught by an Indian how to create a ring pass not. You can
make up your own, but I find that if it is sing-song in nature it is more
powerful. Try it--- you'll like it!

Love and Light;



Lyrics by Todd Rundgren

Power changes hands in the unseen worlds
'Cause in '75 something comes alive
Watch the silver cup and the golden rod
Silently listen and it shall be revealed
I was born to fly higher,
born to stand where I'm standing now
Basking in the light of the neon fire
As it burns my useless body to the ground
Desire let me go
I would fly so high through the sky, never to die
Love has come, Love has come
Inside outside, it shall be revealed
Brilliant stars splash down across a crystal sky
And the moon and the sun and the earth are one
See the shining soul break the ring-pass-not
Spiraling upward and it shall be revealed
The spirit is free
The Universe wants it to be, It calls you and me
Love has come, Love has come
Over under, it shall be revealed
When the bells ring out
And the fire burns within and without
When your star grows bright
and fills all of the world with its light
Swallow your pride, you don't need it no more
Don't have to hide, all I am is only one more
Standing at the door
waiting for the world's Initiation
Thunder roar and lightning crack
Snakes of fire dance up and down my back
A long, long road is behind me now
Too late to be afraid of the choice that I have made
But there's one thing I know
Where my spirit says to go,
you know that's where I must go
When the golden ray
Of the dawn signifies a new day
And when loves grows strong
And the spheres join together in song
Swallow your pride, you don't need it no more
Don't need to hide, all I am is
Only one more, then shut the door
waiting for the world's Initiation
Over under, it shall be revealed


12-19-89 - DREAM - I went around shutting off the basement lights and closing the curtains so as not to attract evil people.  I was sleeping on a ship underneath airplanes that were practicing shooting off their machine guns. I was told that the bullets gave off a gas that was heavier than air and could kill you, so I had to move and not sleep there.

I woke up thinking that I had dreamed about a snake and the color orange but could recall nothing.

I woke up thinking that I had dreamed about a lion and the color orange but could recall nothing.

3-8-91 Meditation: This was a general meditation. The visions were continuous and flowed like a dream.

A woman appeared and asked why I hadn't called her. A door on the right opened and I saw a brilliant white light on the ceiling. I walked inside. In the room were 4 single beds, one on each wall. There were also four men there, one assigned to each bed. I decided to sit on the bed right by the door. The man assigned to that bed, reached under the bed and pulled out a baby which was a year or less old. He placed the baby on the bed with me. He said, "Here is the Savior - The Champion!'

The men in the room were roughly dressed, swarthy types, like blue collar workers.

Another woman appeared. She was dark skinned like an Indian from India. I asked her when the child was born. She was very upset and didn't want to tell me.

I then saw a curtained contraption hanging from floor to ceiling. It was for room 308. The curtain opened from floor to ceiling. One of the workmen entered the livingroom and said, "I see trouble here."

I made the man take the woman to the front door and put her out on the porch. I said, "If she doesn't want to cooperate, then she can leave." I told him to tell her, "There is no room in the Inn."

I told the man to tell the baby that, "We're never going to give him up."

I told the man that they should not expect the Second Coming of Jesus to be a rough looking derelict.

I told the man, "The world will rock with surprise when they find out who the Anti-Christ is."

The man began talking about the Christ. He said, "He is definitely a son of the Southern Conventionalists."


4-18-91 - General Meditation:

First, I saw the name, "Edgar Cayce". A voice said, "Do you want a mattress on for your destination?" I saw myself going to the stairway outside of my apartment. I followed two men and they went through the door to the stairway and I followed them down a red stairway. I also saw a stairway going up, but I said, "I have to go down". There were many steps.

I saw what looked like many envelopes flipping and a light on the ceiling beyond. I felt like there is blood involved in this. I saw an oblong shape open up with what looked like blood inside and then it closed up again.

The words, "Psychic Surgery" was heard. I also heard, "Across the nations."

I saw what looked like knives in a butcher block stand - wobbling back and forth.

I saw someone by my front door. A man opened the door and let in a piece of paper with writing on it on the floor. I then saw a book open and on the right side, it said, "Calling all newsmen".

Someone said, "Is there blood involved?" Someone else said, "Yes! There is."

Someone asked, "Is there disease or is there doctors?"

I heard, "The timing is every three weeks".

I saw three applications, ready for signature. The voice said, "Let adversity be behind you." There seemed to be some discrepancy about what level this should be done on. I saw two cheerleaders and one woman got on top of the shoulders of the other, so I knew it should be done on the 2nd level.

A man said, "The lock should be replaced on the door. The door was open. I said, "No! The lock does not have to be changed."

I saw a white haired man looking over the shoulders of his students on a three tiered set of tables. His face kept changing from the white haired man to a dark haired man, to a white haired man and back to the dark haired man. They all seemed to be studying something.

There was a discussion about taking a test to get ready for this psychic surgery. The voice said that it would take at least three to four hours. Each set of questions was set off in three inch squares of differing pastel colors. I felt quite happy about taking this test. I saw a man with short red curly hair. He was also quite happy about it.

I saw my mother then and she was quite happy too. My mother said that they did something wrong in her surgery. She was holding a telephone cord in her hand but the receiver was missing. I also saw them clip off some piece of tissue they should not have. It was small and grey colored. I asked if the psychic surgery is to be done on my mother and that's what it appears.

I transferred my consciousness, awareness, and sight to the highest astral healing temple then. The voice said, "You must hold the instrument absolutely level."

I saw interference then. It appeared to be my sister. I saw handwriting on the wall, It said, "I lock GUESTS."

I was then called to my mother's hospital room. Someone was saying, "I will let it out." I saw myself going from the lighted hospital room out into a darker corridor. The voice said, "Once someone goes out, they don't want to be called back in." Someone said, "I'm sorry Dolores. There seems to be some jealousy here." I saw a box, covered up with a white cloth. It is being removed from the room.

We were then going over mug shots of doctors in the medical field that I can pick from. They are saying, "Don't rule out gays, just look for the medical tools." I then saw the outside of my building and heard someone say, "Don't let anyone interfere."

I saw a short blue curtain below a long blue curtain. They are making preparations. They are saying, "It does not have to be fancy." They are preparing a wheelchair now for my mother and she has a wrapping around her head. I then helped my mother get into the wheelchair. She said that she had some food that was filling that made her very happy. It appears that my mother is stalling. She is saying that she wants to wait another year.

I then saw a book and the voice said, "The man satisfied the curiosity of his soul."

They are trying to reassure my mother, that everything is all right.

NOTE: That winter my mother was rushed to the hospital with a blocked bowel because it was kinked. They took out 24 inches of her bowel and she was hospitalized for almost two months.

1-11-92 - DREAM - I was moving from my New house to the east side. I had tried to keep it secret but eventually found out about it. I was in a quandary as to what to do with the curtains. They were not usable as they were, but I couldn't bear to throw them away, so I was going to save the good portions of them to make doll clothes.

3-24-92 - DREAM - I was in a house on Clark street, just around the corner from my 16th St. house, hanging up new curtains diagonally across a room. We determined that we were hanging them too low to the ground so we had to raise them up a foot.

I noted that the woman who had just moved into the house, taking our place, was the exact same height as the doorway.

These curtains were too thin and billowy, not flat like drapes. They were light blue and light green.

4-3-92 - MEDITATION - I was relaxing, hoping to sleep a little, and said my 3 'Our Fathers' and began to raise my vibrations. I saw a large room, surrounded by a brilliant blue velvet curtain. A woman entered, dressed in blue and sat at a little table... like a card table at one corner. I was thinking it was like a real estate office and she was the secretary. Then a tall, handsome, man in a suit came in and went behind the curtain, followed by a shorter, balding man who stood by the woman in blue.

The tall, handsome man pulled aside a portion of the blue curtain and he was sort of standing behind a backdrop like the front of a marionette or puppet theatre. He said to me, "Isn't it nice to know there's always someone available to call when you need help?" I had to agree that it was. He peeked out from another gap in the curtain at the other two people as if to get their approval.

Then a man came down some stairs on the right and said to the woman who had gotten up from her chair and gone over to greet him, "Why don't you send her on up?"

I started to raise my vibrations to do just that when someone knocked on my door and I had to get up and stop meditating.

4-8--92 - MEDIATION - I called Babaji and James R. Torsten. A voice said, " I could have locked and closed the door!" I then saw myself wearing an old fashioned peasant type dancing costume with a blue jacket, and a red, white, and blue pin striped flared dress, and heard the words, "I'm dancing!". A voice said, "Bill should go!" I saw a white curtain open with a red light display in brilliant red in a pin ball type cabinet. I then saw Tom in a room with Christmas decorations and red and white lights. It was all lights, the tree, the snowman, etc. Solid red and white lights. A voice said, "it's going to cost $100." Tom said, "I know that."

I asked about the 8th of September and three women came out of a room on the left. One was short and very buxom. They were all wearing long red and black checked flannel nightgowns or robes and sneaking down the hall towards me. I asked about the 8th of September again. The three women were now seated and said, "In 1993?" I said, "No! 1992". They said, "It'll be put off a year. It'll just go from one aggression to another.

The next scene was a huge calculator set into a ceiling. I asked,"Does this involve Michael McGee?" They said, "Yes! It does!"

NOTE: Michael McGee was a black politician in the city of Milwaukee who was using threats of violence to create change in the city to force the people to accept blacks as equals. He threatened that the change had to be made by 1995, but by then, he had been arrested for violent acts against the public and his major threats were never carried out. He had lost face in the public eye by then, though he had a radio show on a black station. I never listened to his rhetoric.

11-5-92 - DREAM - I was with a man who looked a lot like my first husband, but he was showing me a 'huge' old mansion he had bought for his wife. He was restoring it. She didn't know that he had done this and not not seen it yet. I had the feeling somehow that the other woman was me and this was my house, but I couldn't really make the connection, but I was acting like it was my house and looking at it from the standpoint of which rooms were mine and what I liked or disliked about it what I wanted restored first.

The first thing the man had restored was a movie projector built into the wall. I peeked into the room. It was a huge movie theatre with deep blue curtains on the stage and hundreds of chairs that were removable so it could also be used for dancing.

My choice as to what to restore first, was a huge old fireplace. It was yellow and the mantle was loose from the wall. I though it would be best to do that first so the winter winds wouldn't roar thru the house.

I went to look at my bedroom. It had a shiny hardwood floor and it was rather in two sections so that the bed and dressers would be in the big square room and then the ante-room which was in front of where the foot of the bed would be, was as huge sitting room with bay windows and it overlooked the ocean.

I had to go to the bathroom, but I didn't know where it was. There was no one around to ask, so when I found the old back door, I sneaked down the stairs and out into a sort of service yard where all the old rickety porches from the upper floors were to shake out rugs or whatever. It was totally enclosed by a big old fence, so I pulled down my pants and squatted down. I peed in what I thought was an out of the way spot, stood up and pulled up my pants. It was then that I saw there was a neighboring house and the people were out on the porch talking. I was hoping they had not't seen me and I quietly sneaked back into the door of the house.Just as I got the screen door closed, the maid from next door came over and said, "If you'e going to act that way, we don't want anything to do with you."

At that point, I wasn't sure if this house as mine, so I said, "That fine with me" and closed the door on her.

I went back through the house and the rooms were full of little kids and puppies and kittens playing and full of flowers blooming. It was a warm and happy house. I wasn't too keen on having all those kids hollering all day, but figured they'd have to go off to school sometimes and then it would be wonderful when it was quiet and peaceful.

12-11-96 - MEDITATION - I called Harold Klemp (the head of Eckankar) and instantly saw him walking by a lake, wearing a brown jacket and blue jeans.

I saw a cartoonish scene of an oriental type porch on a second floor. A man came out and jumped off to commit suicide. a chubby guy in a funny oriental suit came out the curtain, reached over and grabbed the guy and hauled him back.

The guy tried to commit suicide again, and the chubby guy came out and grabbed him faster. The third time the guy tried to jump off the porch, the chubby guy was there to save him instantly.

I called Harold Klemp's name again and instantly saw him again.

I slipped into a dream. I was kneeling on a pillow in front of a bright sunny window meditating. I felt dizzy doing that, so I got off the pillow and got down on the floor and faced the window on my knees to meditate. I still didn't feel stable, so I bent over and put my head on the floor. I could see the varicolored triangles on the linoleum on the floor right beneath me so there was no padding whatsoever.

I knew my mother wouldn't like me doing this so I pretended I was talking on the phone. So, I held a white phone in my hand. I heard my mother coming and I couldn't get up fast enough so my mother came into the room and took the phone away from me. My mother talked on the phone herself then. She said, "I caught her trying to talk on the phone."

I slipped into another dream where I was walking through a hallway. I saw at least a dozen moths sitting on the wall. I ran back into the kitchen to grab a broom and ran back and started to swat at the moths but most of them moved before I could hit them. I noticed I was too slow and the broom felt extraordinarily heavy. Then I noticed I was using a heavy sponge mop instead of the broom. I saw the broom standing there then and went back to hitting the bugs with the broom. Some of the bugs were so large they wore jeweled crown hats like kings. I beat on them even harder, when I hit the last one to death, the wall fell away and I saw my flower garden. The roses had bloomed and the petals had already fallen off and I missed all the beauty because I had been so busy killing bugs inside the house.

October, 1997 - DREAM - I was in a U shaped house. I was in the remodeled section of the bottom of the U, separated from the 30 foot room by a 3 foot door. The 30 foot room also had a front door going outside. I was told by a voice that part of the room I was in was remodeled from the portion that was attached to the 30 foot room. I could see the lines in the ceiling and the floor where the walls had been removed. There had been another section on the other side of the 30 foot room so the house originally looked like an upside down T. Now it looked like a U. I do not recall seeing my furniture in the 30 foot section, but I could see we had too much furniture in the section I was in. There was a dresser with two white lamps on it. The lamp stands were standing in the middle of the room. There was no room to put them by the wall, so I turned one upsidedown on top of the other, thinking I would have to remove them from the room otherwise. A child came in and told me she was leaving and I could have her dolls. It was a Barbie, Ken, and Skipper. As I held Barbie in my hands, the head changed to a rabbit head with long ears.

Over in the corner, on the right, a man with white hair sat at a desk. He was sewing something on a sewing machine. There were two children on top of the desk playing also. The girl child was shooting pool. With the triangle with 9 balls, and a pool cue.

I walked to the back door which was a door at the end of this 30 foot section to the left of the man. I saw a black woman standing there with two children, also a boy and a girl. I said, "Oh! I didn't know you were there. You've been so patient to wait so long." She smiled at me. The blonde mother of the other two children was there to drive her two children and the black woman and her two children away in a white car which was parked outside.

Behind the car was a large blue curtain or blanket hanging on a line which I said I was going to have to take down. One the right was a shelf case with objects on it like empty urns or vass. I said I was going to have to take these inside to clean up the yard.

11-1-97 - DREAM - I was in a large public building that had apartments in it. It was my job to inspect the apartments and made sure they were ready for new people to move into them.

This was Saturday night and I made arrangements with the current tenants to show their apartments on Sunday morning at 10::00 a.m. thought my usual hours were 9 a.m.

There were contracted workmen in the hallway doing major repairs discussing how some people couldn't work in spaces that were 4 or 5 inches wide and wanted to know who had made the last major screwup. Damage was so bad that no one had figured out how to fix it yet. I saw a hole in the wall that was about 3 feet x 3 feet with a black screen over it. I had to admit it was a woman who had done the damage and her name was Mary.

I had to go to the bathroom out in the public hallway by the front door and when I got there I heard a man screaming. It frightened me so much, I ran back up the hallway as fast ass I could and it seemed slow motion. I felt as though I was the half-crazed man myself crying out in agony. To get back into the main hallway, I had to go through 6 arched doorways to get through without making oneself into a squashed image of oneself. I had to rip the curtain from the door to open the door. All the doorways were back to back so that by opening one, you still had the rest to contend with. Each of these doorways had a curtain on it of a religious figure bigger than life yet obscuring the door itself. I managed to get 5 of them open and the last one had a picture of a huge eye pasted on it. I had to pull the picture of the eye off the door to find the door itself and yanked it open to find myself inside the building which was now a chaotic shambles of its former self.

The crazed man had beat me there somehow and tore all the furnishings into shreds everywhere I looked.

I came upon a stunned woman and asked her if 911 had been called. She aid that the man had hurt his hand early in the morning and had been treated for his injuries but now the anesthesia had worn off and he couldn't stand the pain.

I realized that so much damage had been done by the half-crazed man that it would never be the same again.

The image that came to mind was of Christ with nails driven through the palms of his hands.

1-2-98 - DREAM - I was living in an apartment building and moving from the 1st floor to the 4th floor. I had to do this in some kind of unison to what space was made available including which elevator to take upstairs.

I picked up my piano bench and some sheet music and began the move.

On the way upstairs, Cary.L. said it was time to have the regular church religious services, so we all stopped what we were doing to attend the service.

As the service began, the minister wanted to know if we wanted to see the stage play we were practicing for. Everyone was willing. So, the stage curtains opened. There were the exact number of players on the stage as their was in the audience. All the play was, was the worship service we were at.

Even the children and the pastor participated. When the service was over, we all applauded the great acting and the curtain closed.

The minister came out into the audience to talk to Cary.L. who seemed to be the program director. she was complaining to the minster that she didn't get all the materials she needed to complete the program she had been assigned. The minister who was new to our church said to her, "You should thank God you got as much as you did. Many times things actually are taken away when the new minister comes."

7-16-98 - DREAM - I was waiting for a phone call (which I really was in the physical) I heard by baby wake up. I knew I was going to have to feed the baby while I was on the phone. I thought I would give the baby a bottle. He was actually 4 years old and didn't need a bottle. However, I didn't have any food available for the baby either. I then went looking for food for the baby. I went outside to the parking lot to go home to where the food was, but it was so foggy on the parking lot, I couldn't actually see my house and I didn't want to go through the fog without being able to see. So, I went through the parking lot to where my work was in another building.

In that building I had a locker. The locker was behind an area where they were putting on a stage play. There were a lot of people there, but I was able to go behind the curtain on the stage to get to my locker. I opened my locker. Inside was a multitude of books like in a library. The books were all about 2 feet and 2" wide or so. There was nothing in there I could feed the baby with through. As I walked back through the building, I noticed that the building was being remodeled and the more remodeling they did, the more beautiful it became.

A huge stained glass window was located on one side of the hallway. There were many decorations that I thought might be for Christmas but I didn't know for sure, only that they were beautiful.

I headed back out of the building, meeting many people I used to work with. We greeted in passing but didn't stop to speak. I went back to the original building where the baby was waiting and I saw that it was past the time the phone call should have come in and that they weren't going to call me afterall.

I looked at the clock when I woke up and it was 7:07 a.m. The phone call actually had not come in which was expected at 7 a.m.

NOTE: The phone call came in 5 minutes later - about 15 minutes past the time it was due.

8-13-98 - DREAM - I was in West Allis, WI on 70th and Greenfield at a book store. I came outside to where I left my car to go home. In the parking space was a black with silver striped car that was an open convertible. I went to open the door and the whole car moved and made a sound like a tin toy. I realized that wasn't my car and then saw my car parked on the sidewalk.

My car was black with a silver stripe but was not a convertible. However, there was no passenger side door, nor was there a floor or seat where the passenger would sit. This was strictly a solo car.

I looked at it carefully to make sure it was mine, then walked around to the right side of the car to make sure I was taking everything home that I had come with.

It seemed more like a bicycle from the right side and I had racks with black puses and black satchels and books.

I walked around to the driver's side and the keys were hidden under a blue piece of cloth by the driver's door and practically fell out into my hand.

My friend Monica from my UFO group appeared then and I asked her to come home with me.

First I had to make sure the car ran okay. I put the key in the ignition and it started right up. It had real power.

The next scene popped in, we were already at home and I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I said to Monica, "Did  you see that?" and as I watched I had a live doll baby and the baby began to slowly inch it's way up the wall and began patting the cheek of a picture of a woman which was hanging high up on a wall. There was real love and affection in it's petting action.

My husband came home then and I looked around quickly to make sure the house was clean. It was.

I had to go to the bathroom then and when I did, I got the shock of my life. The bathtub was full of water, and the shower stall in the corner was full of water. The bathtub, the floor, the shower stall, was FULL of red and white towels trying to soak up the   water, and I could see the water streaming across the floor toward the hallway.

Then I saw the shower curtain was falling down (It too was red and white exactly like the towels) and someone had cut in in two places with a scissors in deliberate destruction.

I was sitting on the toilet and needed to wipe myself and even the brown toilet paper (like paper toweling) was wet and useless.

I sat there helpless and screamed my husband's name... "J.B." I suddenly became afraid but screamed his name again in almost a shriek... "JB"

8-15-98 - DREAM - I was working on a UFO web page and placed the links in a frame that had a second layer deep. I then found myself in the backyard of my 16th St. house. I found out that my grandsons N.B. and B.B. were coming to visit so I went into the house and to the livingroom. When I got to the livingroom, they were sitting there with my daughter who was 10 or 12 years old. She was sitting on the couch in front of a window. There were white lace curtains on the window but the curtain rod was falling down. I was just about to yell at them for being too rowdy when I woke up.

9-16-98 - DREAM - My husband was building an addition onto our lake cottage but all he had done was frame it in and move all the rough lumber and old school parts to the new building and nothing was inside was done, it was just laying around loosely like a storage room. School desks were laying over on their sides and walls weren't finished. I needed to go to the bathroom and there were two of them but one of the toilets was in front of a huge window with no curtains and when you turned the light on, a heater came on with it and leaked water on the floor at the same time.

To get to the other bathroom which my mother had used, you had to brush aside cobwebs and tread carefully over loosely laid grids on the floor between the desks laying on their sides.

The whole place smelled like cats had been using it to go potty in and I was hoping that once it was painted and carpeted it would cover up that smell.

Outside, there were a lot of women with their children. We were all sitting around, talking about how hard it was to raise children and not say the wrong things to them to damage their egos or feelings. We were all rather laying around on cots and I needed to get dressed for work, but there were little girls there with their mothers and it was important that I say the right things to them.

A caterer and milkman had come in to make deliveries. (The caterer had brought meat sandwiches on a platter and were drying up. A girl tasted it and didn't get sick but I thought it best to have fresh meat brought in. A lot of salt was spilled along the edge of the meat platter. I tasted it and it was very bitter.) I turned on the lights so a contract could be signed between us and him because he was bringing in new milk every day and we wanted to make sure we got the right amount.

10-11-98 - DREAM - It started out on a computer needing to be able to sort people's names out so that one could tell if they were an ET, an abductee, or just a person with no experience. I know how why I needed to know this.

Then I was in a building with quite a few people I knew. I realized I needed to clean it to perfection and while I did that, someone made fun of me for being slow and methodical, as I started on one end and worked my way around the room. I got over to the window and started to take down the curtains to wash them, but not only that, I wanted everyone to be able to see our friend David leap out the 4th floor window as a demonstration. He would be wearing a harness for safety in the demonstration and this was worth seeing him do this.

When I took the yellow flowered curtain down, my friend Michele came over and showed me that there was a dance dress exactly like the curtains and sure enough when I turned the curtain over, there was my old dance dress I had loved so much. So, I threw that in the wash load too.

Someone had been down in the basement and brought up two jars that were broken that had canned tomatoes in them. The jars were cracked and the juice had leaked out but the tomatoes were still in them. the jars were odd shaped more like flower vases. We were going to have to throw them away.

Someone else brought in some freshly harvested pumpkins with faces on them. She said that people only wanted to accept a certain kind like Valencia or something like that. they were flat on one side and looked like people's heads and were decorated with seed beads or something that made them look like faces. I had a different kind that looked similar but weren't Valencia. I thought those were just as could and you could hardly tell the different.

Another person then showed me that there were empty canning jars and preserving equipment up on top of cabinets by the ceiling. He volunteered to help get them down.

Down in the basement, I found a lot of empty boxes, some were battered and some were good. Michele said she needed to the good ones for moving. (Michele is really moving soon) so I set those aside for her and the bad ones we thought to throw away. There was nothing in them.

Then we were leaving and in the car there were also things we needed to clean out and throw away. I was in the back seat and a man was driving...a friend but seemed to be on the side of 'evil' in life. He found a double headed axe in the glove compartment and I took it and hid it under the front seat by my feet in the back for protection just in case....

We were about to make a left turn and I had 3 pieces of iron in my hand like a payment to do this. They were odd shaped and felt good to hold them. I saw there was a motorcycle in front of us and one behind us and it seemed that we heeded to throw the iron pieces out the left window like ballast or something in order to make the left turn safely.

3-19-99 - DREAM - This was about Indian crafts. They were really neat but then I discovered that the crafts I was looking at was made in a factory and they gave me a tour of the factory. there were 3 machines manufacturing sheets of plastic like "Plastic Wrap" and all the machines were in 3's. One man showed me a kitchen of sorts with three different sets of gas burners. He said that we should never touch these burners because you couldn't see gas burning.

I COULD see the gas burning but I knew better than to put my hand on a gas burner whether it was off or on.

I had to find a bathroom then. There were so many people there, everyone needed to use the bathroom, so I had to stand in line. When I finally got to the bathroom and was sitting on the toilet, I was looking at all the pretty dresses the girls had changed out of when they put their nightgown on and I realized how much I like petty colorful cotton fabric. I was taking too long in the bathroom and I hadn't done anything but look at the fabric and look in the mirror and see that I wasn't as fat as I thought I was and that I really did look pretty.

I left the bathroom so the other girls could take their turn. I went back in another room where I saw my photograph in it three times each one taken at a different time in my life, each one with a different child in my arms. Here too, I noticed that I looked really pretty and wondered if others saw me that way too.

It was bedtime then and we all had to share bedrooms. One of the really beautiful girls went to bed with this really huge muscular guy. He ended up sleeping on the floor between our bed and I put my feet on him and wondered if he felt humiliated. He didn't protest at all.

I wrote a prophecy about him on the floor in toothpaste or something like that. It was about his relationship with women. (I can't remember what it was.)

I went out into the kitchen where the family was gathered. We were waiting for my brother to come home from the war. He was standing out in the hallway talking to someone. There was a curtain like a library bookcase between us and him so we couldn't see him.

He finally came through the door and there was instant recognition of my brother's face, but that's where the resemblance ended. He was a huge man around 7 feet tall with a massive body. While he was talking to the others he came and stood by my side like he was trying to merge with me. This was a sexual feeling and he whispered to me, "You feel it don't you?" I did, but didn't want to acknowledge it because he was my brother. He kept insisting and insisting that he had to have sex with me. There were plenty of other women around so I couldn't figure out why he chose me, who was so much like him. It was considered incest and great guilt went with that no matter how I felt. Then too he had just come home from Europe and could be carrying some disease from there. I wondered if I dare suggest using a condom. with a condom I could see the point of sex at all. Yuck! He went to the bedroom and I made an excuse that I had to go to the bathroom first. So I stayed in the bathroom and never came out.

4-30-99 - DREAM - (In this dream I think I was my mother and my Father was my husband)

I was living in my 16th St. house and there was an anti-war protest going on across the street. It seemed they were blaming me and/or my husband for the war. I was very upset about it because I didn't feel it was my fault.

The protesters were making marks on my property and curtains that made my house look beautiful. Then I saw my Father/husband come around the corner from the alley. He was coming home from work and it was about 5 p.m. He wanted to know what was going on. I told him the men were protesting the war. My husband/Father said he didn't blame them. He said, "I don't' blame them. I was with them in the last war and our own government was injecting them with "Klevox."

(I woke up just as the word "Klevox" was spoken.)

7-19-99 - DREAM (I had this dream twice) I was in a house with several other people.There was a big opening in the wall and I could see clearly way down the street, on the other side, was a green Russian army tank aimed right at us.

The first time someone raised their arms, there was a big shot from the green tank in our direction. I ducked and didn't see if anyone got hit.

We seemed to just go on normally with the day and then someone raised their arms and there was another shot from the tank, but it wasn't quite as big. I ducked again and didn't see who was hit.

Shortly after that, again someone raised their arms and there was another shot, the same size as the second shot.

I was holding a baby at the time. My son Tom indicated that we'd better get out of there. I actually dropped the baby on the floor and ran after Tom who led me out the front door of this building that was all glass doors.

There were other people with us as we ran and we went into another building where they were either selling or manufacturing green lawn chairs that folded or metallic curtains that were folded. They weren't heavy and we held them up as screens to hid our faces because we were going to leave out the back door where some Russian troops were loading these same items into troop trucks.

The people I was with were making sing-songy fake language like they were speaking a foreign language to fake out the Russians. It was obviously not a rea language so I don't know how they thought we were going to get away with this but we did. We held up these screens and walked right out past the troop tucks without beings stopped.

NOTE: later on while I was thinking about the dream, a voice said, "Patrick Bouvier Kennedy is a clue to the dream." Not long after, I heard another voice which said, "Chappaquidic is a clue to your dream."

I personally don't see a connection ?????


12-15-99 - DREAM - I was moving into an apartment building. I was going to be the manager, but I also had to clean the building. The boss had a work chart and in my space, he labeled me 'morning woman'. That meant I had to vacuum the floors and pick up trash that other people dropped.

The front lobby was full of water from the heavy rain that had seeped in under the door. There were two maintenance men who had the job to mop that up.

My ex-husband Edward was there. He volunteered to do the vacuuming so that I could do other chores. But he vacuumed everything no matter how large it was. He vacuumed entire sheets of newspaper, huge plastic leaves that were vining, all kinds of orange fabric shreds, toys, anything that laid on the floor went into the vacuum. It wasn't long and the vacuum cleaner wouldn't suck at all, so I took over the job. I slung the vacuum cleaner machinery part over my shoulder, cleaned it out and pulled all that big stuff out. There were three huge oval wads of orange fabric fluff in it. I showed all these various things to the other maintenance men and said, "Who would vacuum up all these big things?" They just shrugged their shoulders.

Meanwhile there was a doctor's type office there off to the side where a doctor was going to give a lethal injection to a man who was a drug addict. The man who was not very old sat on a square table undressed to the waist. He had a crazed look on the table and said to the doctor... "Me first! Me first!" He couldn't wait for the injection...he was that addicted.

In my apartment was a square table that had stuff all over it... can't remember the details, but I was putting away all the individual items and wiping off the table as I went. There was a young woman sitting there when I started. I wasn't yet done and a young man sat down with all his homework and spread it out to work on it. I told him I wasn't done yet, and he helped me move his work around until the entire table was done and clean... yet all the work was still on the table.

I then went to put everything away. This was going to be the first time that I ever had everything put where it belonged by the end of the day. Of all the times I had moved, this had never occurred before.

I went into the half bath. There was a tub with a shower and an alcove type place with a short wall with a small table and built in bench where a woman could sit and do her nails. I think there was a sink to wash hands, but I didn't see a toilet.

I had a red rubber bath mat slung over my arm and took it to the Master bathroom. It was a huge room. I saw rusted places on the walls and ceiling which needed patching and painting, and where the sink and mirror was, it needed more light... it was rather dim. But here there were two bathtubs with showers. One faced east...(the end where the shower was) The tub was long enough to need two full size shower curtain sets. Some of the curtains where hung and some not.

I saw no toilet in this bathroom either. That didn't seem to bother me...like I didn't need one. :-)

There was another tub and shower along the wall that had it's shower on the north end. Here were the other half of the shower curtains that matched the other set...they were pale yellow with red and orange flowers on them. These shower curtains were hung normally in a couple panels, but had a couple panels completely wrapped around the rod... not hanging down.. and there were numerous yellow plastic clothing hangars hanging on the rod also where they had dried their laundry.

There was a window on the north wall facing a college of some type and a woman who came in told me that she sang in the choir over there and you could hear the sound of the choir on the winds in the evening.

11-4-99 - DREAM - I was in a city I don't know. I was moving into a different house. From the outside it looked like two long attached quonset huts...attached along the lengthwise. We were going to live in the right half...farthest from the street.

I went inside and looked at my bedroom. It was plain and ordinary...just a regular square room. I wasn't impressed at all.

I went to the livingroom and it was rather dim inside. I went down to the end where a large brown curtain was hanging...looked more like a large burlap bag. I decided to pull it aside and let the sunlight in. However, when I did, the window was broken out and the shards of glass were all swept into a heap at the end of a long enclosed porch. I knew that my husband's black friend had done it, and this wasn't the first time. He had done this before because he couldn't stand being closed in.

I was mad but there was no one around to yell at so there was nothing I could do about it.

I went down the hall to my daughter's bedroom and looked in. She was laying on the bed asleep. I went into the room to check on her. I couldn't say how old she was...she was dressed in dark blue...more than 3 years old...less than 10.

The Master bed she lay on was huge and so was the room...it was humungous. I knew immediately I was going to switch rooms with her. The massive King size bed was a 4 poster...the posts being tall, oak, fancy fluted carved. I got on the bed and lay down. It did have a drawback...the mattress was thin and I could feel the springs beneath it against my spine...but I could easily get a new mattress for it. The room was dark, but I could brighten it up...I liked the light.

I got off the bed and went over to the wall where there was another door and found myself in another room. This was a 3 room suite with a white kitchen at the end. Each room was larger then the room before.

I definitely had stars in my eyes. I was in awe. I went to the door at the end of the room and found myself in another open room. I was now in the other half of the house. These doors were all glass and were all open. The farther I went, the larger the house seemed. I could hardly believe it. I was astounded.

I got down to the end finally and met Cary Loose, my friend, who was also the landlord of this house. I was explaining to her how wonderful this house was and she said, "You can live in it for nothing, if you have someone mow the lawn for six weeks!"

I almost passed out with joy. I could mow the lawn myself for six weeks to live in this house for nothing. I didn't say that out loud though...I was practically swooning with happiness.

As I walked back through the house, each room had an alcove where museum-like treasures were kept on shelves. Each room held treasures of individual cultures and an elderly white haired chubby woman was the curator and caretaker of each room...grandmotherly types in cotton flowered dresses.

The Mexican room with its hand-made pottery almost glowed from the yellow, orange, and green pots and vases on its numerous shelves.

Each room was high, attic-like with slanted ceilings so these rooms were very large.

I could hardly contain my joy.

So, I went on down to the other end of the house to see the lawn I had to mow. It was immense. Once I got outside into this park-like area I could no longer see the house. I knew it was over towards the east because I could hear the traffic from the street but I was a long way from there.

Where I was standing, I could see a sandy path that went up and behind some large bushes. There were little kids playing in huge pits along the path and the path itself had holes in it that looked like bombs had gone off on it. I was dismayed at the immensity of the job I intended to do for 6 weeks.

As I walked along the path, I came to some workmen who were clearing junk off the lawn. Huge piles of clothing were piled here and there. They were going to haul it away so the lawn could be mowed. The hill they were on was 3 times as high as I am tall. I could see that the clothing belonged to me and my kids...stuff we had worn and discarded because it was outgrown. They were going to throw it away, but I couldn't let them do that...it was MINE!

One guy picked up a pair of muddy bluejeans, the size of a 3 year old would wear. He said, "What do you want this for?" I picked it up gingerly so as to not get muddy and knew my son had long outgrown it. But if I washed it, someone else could wear it...it looked perfectly good. So, I told the man I would make a laundry pile and wash what was dirty.

There were piles of pretty dresses, still all on hangars, there were hangars in piles...all bent askew. I kept everything and started hauling it towards the house which was on the other side of the hill. It would be much easier to mow the lawn for 6 weeks if all this old stuff wasn't laying around on the grass.

I took all the dresses and piled them in my arms and carried them up the hill towards the house.

When I got there I seemed to be on a lower level and I was looking for the stairs to get up to where I lived. One of the white haired women said, "Oh! There is an elevator behind this screen. She pushed aside the entire false wall behind which was the elevator door. As soon as she did, the elevator door opened and a scrawny black haired angry woman came storming out of the elevator followed by a man who didn't look very happy to be where he was or with whom he was with.

I wondered how someone could get off the elevator with that false wall there, but I didn't have time to worry about it. The white haired woman led me onto the elevator which was humungous. It's red carpeted floor felt weak and springy and I didn't feel very secure. I was expecting to go up but we went down instead...to the sub-basement garage.

I tiptoed off the elevator because the floor was so springy and was glad to be off of it.

I was now in the sub-basement garage but even here I was higher than where the cars parked at night. I didn't see any cars though...the garage was a storage place for discarded toys. Before I could say a word, I saw some Mexican people grab every toy there and rush up the car ramp up into the sunshine. I followed them, not wanting to use the elevator again, and went up the ramp into the sunlight, hoping someone was home who could let me back into the house

and woke up.

11-5-99 - DREAM - I was in my 16th St. My ex-husband Jim was living there, along with a teenage kid whom he said he didn't know who he was. The kid was a teenager about 16 years old, with darker skin, maybe Italian or Spanish American, stocky to chubby build, about 5' 8" tall or so. His best friend was blonde, with white skin, good looking, taller about 5' 10" tall or taller. They smoked dope together. I tried to say Hello to the blonde teen in the front fall, but the darker skinned guy wouldn't let me get near him. He didn't want me to meet his friends. After the blonde kid left, I told the darker skinned boy that my father had built that house, or rather had others build it for him and I assured him I was there to stay.

The kid thereby undertook a campaign to make sure I left so he and my ex-husband could live there alone. I went into the livingroom, and a yellow taxi cab appeared behind the chair that my ex-husband sat in. I tried to figure out why it was there, but the windows were fogged over and I couldn't see into it. A yellow school bus then appeared in the same space. The windows were broken out and the kid was in the yellow school bus making something like a cupcake made out of the broken glass which he tinted pink and tried to get me to eat it. I took it into the kitchen and threw it away. In the kitchen, the floor was multicolored carpeting with flower patches on it. There were areas that were yellow, blue, green, pink, brown, and white. Underneath the carpeting was a green and white variegated swirled, striped linoleum.

I went back into the livingroom, and the kid looked like he was going to go somewhere so I was biding my time until he left so I could sneak into his bedroom and see what he was into, and he went out onto the front porch, but just stood there instead of leaving. I tried to look out the livingroom window, but there was too much reddish reflection from another curtained window to be able to see the kid. I just caught a glimpse of him standing there on the porch.

I decided to go upstairs anyway and maybe sneak around, and went up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs I found a heavy metal door and the kid had just installed a sliding latch on it so that when he was up there, he could latch the door and nobody could sneak up on him. The door was dark green. The latch was put on at an angle, not straight. I praised him for his good work anyway.

At the end, I found out some clues about him because he sent two messages out written on paper which I could partly read. I got the implication that he loved to play hockey, and that he wanted to open a gunmill. These messages were like telegrams, yet like e-mails. I saw the name Pat on it, but I wasn't sure if that was him, or that the message was TO: Pat.

12-24-99 - DREAM - I started to redream the above dream I thought lucidly, and a squirrel came up out of a hole, but then the dream went off on a life of its own.

I was in a big house. . . it was immense and then was an old factory attached. The walls in the basement factory were being blowtorched with a welding gun to get all the old paint and grime off. Men kept coming in there to see how it was being done, but it was too bright to look at so I just peeked but didn't go past the barrier they had set up for the safety of our eyes. I was able to see that the walls were all blistered up and black.

I was helping to clean up another area and was told to turn the light off when I left. But the string on the light was so short, I didn't want to make the effort to jump for the string. There were no chairs to climb on so I made excuses not to be the last one out of the room and left it to Dorian Lord Hayes from One Life to Live TV show to do that.

There was blue water flowing up into the area from several directions. I was just wearing just white socks so I had to leave quickly so I wouldn't get my feet wet.

I went into the house area then and my daughter came to visit. She needed a new place to move her family to. I told her that I had spare rooms she could move into. I had a whole suite at the front of the house that nobody used and an entire upstairs suite that nobody used. She said, "I never knew you had rooms upstairs." I said, "Yes! Which would you prefer? I'll show you both of them so you can decide."

At that moment, two men came down from upstairs. They lived in other rooms up there and heard me offer the empty suite to my daughter. They said they would love to have her move up there. The first young man showed me a sailing ship he had constructed in miniature that had numerous sliced almonds on top of it arranged neatly. The other guy who copied him only had almond covering part of the top. It was a poor imitation.

I started to show my daughter the way to the 1st floor suite through a inner doorway. She said, " I prefer having my own outside door." I said, "This has it's own front door and I remembered it even had a crystal door knob and huge picture windows and white curtains. So I said, "Let's go around the front and I'll show you."

So, we began walking out through the east entrance through the parking lot. This was the factory and mall parking lot. For some reason I was dragging a heavy steel office chair behind me that the upper back was coming off. Then I remembered that I didn't bring the key to the front door with me. I said, "We're going to have to go back and get the key. I wish I had brought the car."

My daughter got a brilliant smile on her face and said, "Mine is right here. We can take it." It was like a big green limousine. I saw that she didn't drive it herself and it started moving before she even got around to the passenger side.

The car turned into a huge, long, old fashioned garbage truck. It was empty, but I thought "How convenient...I could just throw my old office chair in the back." The truck started to make a right turn and completely flipped over on its right side.

I thought to myself, "Good thing I didn't throw my office chair in there first or they would have blamed that on me."

1-2-00 - DREAM - I was in a house that was newly constructed that still had some raw wood showing. I needed to go into the bathroom and Joe was sitting on a toilet in the bathroom, in a stall like space, but behind a plastic curtain so I couldn't really see anything except his knees and feet. I needed to go really bad so I began to pull the curtain across the opening so that we couldn't see each other while I was going. There didn't seem to be any door on this room, and there were several other people in the house as well. . . a young blonde woman and my mother who was very old, but who didn't look anything like my real life mother. There was also a problem with my being able to figure out how the house was wired because it appeared to be wired in series such that if one flipped a switch in the bedroom, a light appeared in the hallway and in the bathroom, or if you flipped the switch in the bathroom, the light came on in the hallway and bedroom also, so you couldn't lose your way in the dark and hurt yourself. I was just figuring this out when my mother appeared and told me that she was being interviewed about her UFO abductions. This made me very upset. Not only couldn't I remember any conscious abductions like she could, the house was a mess. My mother began folding a pile of socks in the hallway, and while she and I talked, and I thought about how messy the house was, I helped her match socks, some of which were very large and shiny white like silk (unlike any I've ever seen). Then she told me that NBC was coming to film, and while I was thinking that maybe I could hide out of sight while they interviewed her, I also thought perhaps I should get on the computer and tell everyone to watch us.

Suddenly, a memory popped into my head about seeing a humungous black flying craft over the neighborhood that defied description.... and while I thought about that memory... I woke up.

NOTE: My only sightings have been a large white craft, a white greenish white craft, and odd red and white lights chasing each other high up in the sky.

2-13-00 - DREAM - I wasn't at my own house, but was with friends and family somewhere. I picked up the phone to call someone but got a wrong number where there was a restaurant. I looked at the phone, trying to dial the number 874 and figured I had hit the wrong numbers because I wasn't facing the phone straight on, but hitting the numbers from upsidedown backwards. I figured I had probably hit 797, so I tried again very carefully to dial 874 and got the same people. I could hear a loud voiced guy in the background talking behind the woman who answered the phone. He was telling a story that sounded just like the dream I had had the night before. Mine was a dream and his was real life. I had actually dreamed 'his' life as it happened that day.

I hung on the phone, wanting to go home and get my dream journal and asked a blonde woman friend to listen to the phone while I ran home and got my journal. She got to the phone and listened a moment, then said that those people were calling the cops. The cops got on the phone and they started to ask questions about where I lived and I just hung up the receiver and ran out of the room.

I didn't feel very well, was groggy sort of and got dizzy. I leaned my head on the shoulder of the nearest person who was a relative of some sort. It was a tall guy, rather young. He stood there and tolerated my head on his shoulder, but I could hear him say to his Dad, "how come when she doesn't feel well, she always uses MY shoulder to lean on?" His Dad who was my husband I guess told him that I wasn't feeling well and he would take care of it. He helped me to another room and helped me put on a cotton plisse robe that was dark blue with white flowers, perhaps roses, on it. (I don't own one like that)

I started to feel better and wanted to go get my dream journal, so pulled away from my so-called husband and told him I had to go get my dream journal, and he let me go.

I got out on the street and was standing on the corner, waiting for the light to change and wasn't feeling very well and was dizzy, and a man and a woman came up from behind me and helped me sit on a bicycle with the woman. I sat on the seat and she sat on my right knee and the man was steering the bicycle. She was chit-chattering on in a high pitched voice about stories she had in her mind. The man was going to write them. There was a lot of bicycle traffic going the other way so it was hard to steer around them.

I was happy to be getting some help to get home because it was a long walk down the street. I was pointing out people's houses along the street. One guy on the other side had a pet chicken. It was a huge red/orange chicken, larger than most. On the side of the street we were on, were houses that had ceramic decorations on the fronts of their houses, all pastel colors. Even houses that were in the back had these colorful decorations on. We finally got down to the end of the street where I lived in an apartment building.

The woman next door had her garage door open and I could see down into it because it was below ground level. Her car was gone, and she had all kinds of bedding stored in her garage, like white bedspreads, etc.

My garage door was open also and the guy steered the bicycle into it without even asking me if it was mine. Maybe it was obvious. In my garage, it was full of books on shelves, a lace curtain on the window, and vines growing in pots.

I asked them if they could tell it was my garage. I said, "Isn't it pretty in here for a garage?"

They were going to go upstairs with me to get my dream journal because this guy was going to turn my dreams into stories. They didn't care I was flipping out like my husband thought when I went into other realities during the day

3-3-00 - NIGHTMARE FROM HELL!!!!!!!

I was at my New Berlin house. I had slept in late so my husband had already left for work. I went downstairs and into the livingroom and found that he had broken two lamps on the livingroom floor. They were smashed into so many unbelievable pieces, he would have had to jump up and down on them a jillion times to get them into so many small pieces.

I was not only upset, I was 'scared'. He had to have been violent to do this act. There was no other furniture in the livingroom, just the broken lamps.

I went out into the other room where the phone hookup was. I planned to call my new friend "Celeste". I couldn't remember her number, but I remembered that my white phone book was underneath the piano in the other room between where I was and the livingroom with the broken lamps.

So I went and crawled under the piano and retrieved my white phone book and went back to the telephone. I was paging through the book to find Celeste's numbers and found all kinds of other people with nice names but I hadn't met them yet obviously. I didn't know any of these people. I saw several names like Celeste, but not the one I was looking for. I decided to call my daughter Jeanne instead, and couldn't remember how to find her number though I knew her name started with B like my last name, but I couldn't remember what it was or how to spell it and I might have put her name under J for Jeanne. I was getting frantic to call someone about what my husband had done to the lamps.

Someone knocked on the inner door of the hallway. I started to freak out, because there was a lower door in the hallway and the person had come in and come up the stairs to the inner door. I hollered, "Who's there?" A man said, "I've come to deliver the logs for the fireplace!" We didn't even have a fireplace, but I figured, well maybe my husband was planning on putting one in. I was always working on remodeling ideas myself over the years.

So, I went to the door and let the man in. He looked young and handsome and I wasn't afraid of him. He said the bill would be $163.00. That was outrageous for a load of logs and I said so. The man said, "Well, we also brought along a couple other things that we thought he might like."

I wasn't going for this.

By now, there was a bunch of little kids in the house and a dog and her puppies which were really cute. They looked like chihauhaus. I asked if I could have one and they started to act like I wouldn't be a worthy person to have one of their puppies. I started to tell them what a great person I was and then I noticed that there were a couple women in the room also who looked like Gypsies.

I said, "What the heck is going on here?" Then I noticed that the women had brought all their laundry into my house and were doing the laundry in my kitchen in MY machines.

I said, "Hey!" You didn't ask if you could do your laundry in my house, and started pulling out all the clothes of the washer. None of them was wet, but man they were packed in there tight. I pulled out sheets, pillow cases, kids clothes, tons of socks, all sizes from mens to little tiny kids socks. The more I pulled out the more there was. I was yelling by now. "I didn't say you could come in here and take over my house!"

The women left but then I noticed that they had left behind several large empty piggy banks, then I saw a couple other things they had brought in. It was decorative stuff, but was junk ... looked worse than any Goodwill type stuff I had ever seen. It probably was good at one time, but this wasn't antique ... it was junk. The more I looked, the more I saw.

I wondered if this was part of the $163.00 bill or if this was extra they would charge me with on top of the $163.00. I went to the back door to tell them to take their stuff out and saw that the back hall was newly remodeled and the stairway went down a different direction. I liked it, but it wasn't what I was expecting. The door was now at the top of the landing instead of at the bottom, so I opened the door and there was a wooden porch out there with an overhang type of thing so I couldn't see the outside... just the wooden overhang part. So I was hanging onto the door and sticking my head out to see where the people were. I couldn't see past the wooden part so I stuck my head out farther and the wooden part seemed to inch farther out farther and farther so I would have to let go of the door and actually go outside to see outside. I thought to myself ... "Oh no! In dreams where you go outside, you can't get back in... I'm not letting go of the door". So I came back in and shut the door on whatever was out there.

I came back into the house and now I started to see other stuff all over the place. While I was looking out the door, they obviously had brought in more and more stuff ... junk I called it. There was some strange looking items too, all decorative, nothing really useful on a daily basis. None of it was in working condition either. I went back into the livingroom, and now there was water on the floor amongst the glass.

I went back to the other room where the phone was and saw my son Michael and my son Bob laying on the grass on top of a porch that hadn't been there before. I knocked on the window and told them to come inside and see what these people had done. So Michael rolled off the edge of the porch and I willed him not to fall and to come in the front door. I was afraid he was just going to fall off and hurt himself.

I went back to the livingroom and there was Michael vacuuming up the water and glass on the floor. I said to him, "No! I don't want you to clean this up. I want your Father to explain why he did it first. And why is there water on the floor anyway? "

I went farther into the room and found that the people had brought in an humidifier that was leaking water all over the place. I pulled the plug, madder than I was before, and hauled it back into the livingroom proper and started to see even more junk.   There was now a hanging light plugged into the wall socket with a mile of wire from the lamp to the socket, all wound around the lamp. It was lit with a weak green glow. I didn't want it. I pulled out the plug, wound up the wire and started to haul the lamp towards the back door.

Now I saw even more junk, tables that were half broken, small organs with legs that were half coming off... the more I looked the more junk there was. I started to holler, "Get this junk out of here. I don't want it. I found a white Christmas tree shaped table that was so outrageously pathetically useless I couldn't believe it. It had a copper Christmas tree insert with 4 legs on it that I almost considered keeping that part, but then saw that you had to use the broken white part and changed my mind. I kept hollering, "Get this crap out of here" and the more I hollered, the more junk there was.

I told my sons to help me get the stuff out and they were helping move it to a pile near the back door so the people could take it away... then I noticed that their stuff and my stuff was mixed up together and I had to start to separate it, all the while hollering, "Get your stuff out of here!"

I went to a window in the livingroom that hadn't been there before. Outside the house I saw a man leading a donkey, a lion, a tiger, a pony, and some other animals. I knew this wasn't real life and had to be a dream so I said, "Oh no!" I'm not buying that one and shut the curtains and went back to getting rid of the junk in the house.

The more I moved, the more there was and I was getting hysterically angry. I kept screaming louder and louder, "Get this crap out of here."

Finally one of the women came back. I hadn't actually seen this one before. She was older and had a loose face ... like she had lost some weight and her skin was loose. I was so angry, I grabbed ahold of her cheeks to squeeze them like some parents do to kids and got right in her face and shouted into her yellow eyeballs, "Get your shit out of here before I do something drastic!"

She rolled her eyeballs at me like a scared cow does and I started to think to myself, "Oh! Oh! Maybe this is the beast from hell and she's going to turn into a horrible looking beast right in my face." But then I thought to myself, "So what, I'm ready for even that. If she turns into a beast, I'll know it's fake and I can take it!" So I took ahold of her face skin and pulled it all towards her nose and screamed into her yellow eyeballs, "GET YOUR SHIT OUT OF HERE!"

She didn't turn into a monster beast and just continued to roll her yellow eyeballs like she was scared. I dropped her face and went back to moving all the crap towards the back door. I started to see I was making progress. My own sons were helping and I was hoping all my own stuff didn't go out the door with the junk, but I was about to the point where I didn't much care anymore as long the junk was GONE! I continued to scream, "Get this junk out of here,... Get this crap out of here... Get this shit out of here!" and finally I woke up hardly realizing I was awake... I was still yelling.

3-6-00 - DREAM - I was living in a house somewhere which also had a factory and a baseball field on the property at the other end. I seemed to be in charge of getting everything straightened, cleaned, and the color scheme changed. I also found some rectangular orange and green baskets I can only describe as plastic strawberry baskets. These had been thrown in the front window. There were several of them that were large about six inches across, but a few were smaller also, about two inches. This seemed to be very important.

I got several large containers (bags) of blue and yellow yarn which I was going to make into furniture covers. Another change I made was to take off an avocado green cover (like drapery material) and changed it to gold brocade material. I let the kids have the avocado green piece to play with. They asked to have a livingroom chair covered in the bright yellow.

There was a young girl there who needed to take some yellow medicine on a daily basis. This medicine came in a green plastic container on which was a button so she could press it and self-dose herself. Unfortunately, she didn't go to the bathroom first, so after she took her medicine, she laughed really hard and peed her pants.

When I took her to the bathroom, I noticed that part of the house was closed off with a drapery curtain. This part of the house was just past the bathroom ... like an extension of the house. It wasn't being used probably because it was winter and it was hard to heat all that house. I was thinking that I like to be able to see into the entire house. I didn't like having any part of it closed off. I would see to that when spring came and it didn't have to be heated.

On the other end of the house was a baseball field. There were men in uniform playing a game. I assumed they worked in the attached factory. One guy had a small green apple and batted it with his bat. It flew over and landed in the front of my shirt. They were joking about the ball, and I held it in my hand and said, "If there be any man here, let him step up to the plate!" We all laughed.

I can't recall what was in the factory, just that I had to make sure that it was in good order and clean.

In the livingroom, a young woman came in with some poodle puppies They were really fat and one little yellow puppy jumped up on the couch and I was trying to control it and make it stay on the floor. I asked her where she had been keeping the puppies because I hadn't seen them since I was there and she lived with us in the house. She wasn't making any sense with her excuses, about where she had been, but she was there now and that's what counted.

As the dream ended, I walked into a part of the house or an attached mall-like place where a bell carillon was playing. The bells were large and small, all tuned to play songs. Some of the bells were hidden in the branches of green Christmas-like trees. It was playing, "Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory of the Coming of the Lord" Glory, glory, glory, Hallelujah!" I woke up with the bells ringing in my head. It was a happy wake-up feeling.

5-1-00 - DREAM - I was in a house I've never been in before.

In the bedroom, over the bed was two rods with a curtain hanging off of them. The rods were at a approximately 37.5 degrees from each other, but were movable and the curtains were waving in the breeze. The were a blue-green color and hung from the rods which were ceiling height to the bed which was normal height for most people.

In my opinion, the rods were too short. They were about 3 feet long and if they were meant to keep one private, they certainly were too short.

A tall man came in and said he wanted to have a relationship with me. I recognized the man as the same one who usually represents Satan in other dreams. He was wearing black and red clothing. I was kind of wishy-washy with my answer because he was so handsome.

I told him that there was no privacy in this room. The windows went from floor to ceiling besides the curtains were too narrow for privacy. I told him he should pull the shade down on the window. He rather flew up to the ceiling and pulled the dark grey shade down.

Then he flew to the ceiling and he and an old man were working on pulling the electrical plugs out of a length of plastic material like we use to plug in several things with one plug to the outlet.

I couldn't really see the old man, he was in in my peripheral vision, but I could see his arms helping the other man who represented Satan, who was now dressed all in white and walking on the ceiling like a fly would. It made me feel like I was the one upsidedown. It was a strange feeling.

I didn't know if there was an electric fan up there or what he was unplugging. There were 8 plugs in a row. There seemed to be something between him and me that looked like a X or +

He finished unplugging all the plugs with the old man, then he came back down to lay on the bed with me and I told him I wasn't interested in having a close relationship with him.

He asked me if I would be willing to have a 'hugging' relationship with him, and at that point I couldn't hardly say ,"No!" since he had already grabbed me.

However, I got out of the bed and went back to the livingroom and sat on the couch where there were other people wandering in and out of the apartment. The door to the hallway was open.

The man who represented Satan was now dressed in a black top like a T shirt, with some kind of marks on the front which I couldn't really see but they were red, and he had orange flowered pants on. Very strange for a man to wear.

8-13-00 - DREAM - I was in the middle of moving. All my furniture was already in the new place. I was making a last minute go-through to finish up last minute details before I actually left the house.

Other people obviously still lived in this house and when I got to their bedroom, I saw that there were 3 sheets on each bed and I wanted to prevent the enemy/man/bug inside the sheets from following me, so I took each sheet at one end and began twisting it over and over until it became one long twisted rope, then grabbed the other end and stuck it through the opposite end so that it formed a ring. This prevented whatever was inside the sheet from getting out and following me to my new house. If I did this slowly enough, whatever was inside the roll of the sheet wouldn't even realize I was trapping it either and wouldn't fight the process.

When I got to my friend Michelle's room, I started this process on her bed and finished twisting the first two sheets on her bed, then discovered that what should have been the third sheet was actually two half kitchen curtains so I couldn't do the same twisting process and I ended up folding those into quarters and leaving them neatly on the bed, a yellow curtain and a pink curtain.

I then went back to my own livingroom where everything was gone except for my shoes and a bowl of potato chips which was football shaped. I was going to try to take this last object with me but it was large and I didn't want to spill the food on the way.

I still felt a lot of concern about the sheets and what was inside them, and was feeling a bit of anxiety that I would get away safely and that the person who owned these sheets wouldn't discover what I had done before I got out the door.

NOTE: I seem to know that there was a negative scene inside a church which I was leaving also prior to this sheet twisting process, but I can't bring the details back, just know that it took place inside a church with a lot of people. I feel like it had to do with rules and power over other people and I didn't want to keep doing this and was making a change on my own.

8-21-00 - DREAM - I was living in a large house with my children. All my clothes were hanging in a special closet so that my dresses could be separated into different colors so that none touched each other. Even those which were white with blue flowers were separated from those with green flowers or pink flowers.

I was in my bedroom which was somewhat dimly lit when I woke up was decorated in white with red roses on everything, quilts, curtains, even the floor.

Todd from 'One Life To Live' television show came to stay with us. He brought with him a toilet tissue roll (minus the paper) and inside of it was a red and black snake and a green and yellow parakeet.

After he left the room, I thought it best to let the snake and the bird out of the toilet tissue roll because there wasn't much air inside of it.

In my bedroom, I had a large platform on a table with a rim around it that held pure sand with colored stones for decoration every few inches. The stones were of various colors. I realized that releasing the snake, it could lay it's eggs in places I might not see, especially if it got off the table. I planned to buy a cage with fine wire grid to put the snake and birds in, but meanwhile I checked on the parakeet which was not in good condition. The red and black snake made it's way across the sand bed behind a rock all by itself, but the parakeet was gasping for air. At first I thought it was dead, but then I saw it gasping and knew it might make it.

As soon as the parakeet gasped for air, a red and black finch bird came flying out of the dark of the room onto the platform and began to encourage the green and yellow parakeet to breathe.

I was quite pleased and didn't foresee any problems.

I then went to check on my kids who were still sleeping, check out the room where Todd was staying, and double check the building itself to make sure it was okay and didn't need any repairs.

As I walked, I had a white quilt with powder blue flowers on it wrapped around me and trailing on the ground behind me.

I noted that my daughter's room door was almost closed ... just open a crack so I didn't bother her. My sons doors were wide open, but I could see them in their beds sound asleep. There rooms too were all decorated with white quilts with red roses on them. The curtains and carpets were matching ... quilted carpets just like the bed. Todd's room was identical except he had brought all his stuff with him. I could tell he planned to stay awhile.

I went outside and found Todd out there with all the other kids in the neighborhood. He shouted, "What's this?" and raised his arm straight up into the air with his index pointed straight up. About half of the kids did the same thing. Todd laughed, "Two out of four isn't half bad! hahahahaha!!!!"

I wasn't about to play that game with him. I could he planned to try to control everyone to play his game. He wanted to reach the point where he said, "What's this?" and everyone would raise their arm and point at the sky. That's real control.

NOTE: Shades of Hitler? The Anti-Christ?

From: buffalo@ais.net

A lady recently called me with an interest in learning more about the symbolism of the rose in alchemy, particularly in the polarity of the red and white roses. She referred me to the pictures in the text 'Alchemy' by E. J. Holmyard, numbered 13, 14 and 21a & b. The lady has had a life-long attraction to Alchemy.

I explained something of the male/female polarity and how it figures in alchemical work and the sulphur/mercury pair which predated the later trinity of sulphur/salt/mercury. She was somewhat surprised to see the white rose as feminine, the red as masculine. She is an expert in the essential oil of the rose, and has spent much time in Bulgaria, the primary source of rose oils in Europe. There, the oil of the white rose is considered masculine, the red is considered feminine. I would be interested in passing on to her the combined wisdom of the alchemy forum.


Russ House

NOTE: The sulphur/salt/mercury symbols was also found in the Barbury Castle pictogram (crop circle)


In Greek and Roman mythology, they were symbolic of love, protection, and rebirth. At funerals, the Romans would scatter roses to symbolize resurrection. The white rose stood for purity and the Moon, and the red for passionate love.

"The rose is the flower of love. It was created by Chloris, the Greek goddess of flowers, out of the lifeless body of a nymph which she found one day in a clearing in the woods. She asked the help of Aphrodite, the goddess of love, who gave her beauty; Dionysus, the god of wine, added nectar to give her a sweet scent, and the three Graces gave her charm, brightness and joy. Then Zephyr, the West Wind, blew away the clouds so that Apollo, the sun god, could shine and make the flower bloom. And so the rose was born and was immediately crowned Queen of the Flowers" (Pickles, 88).

The first red roses were supposed to have sprung from the blood of Adonis, Aphrodite's lover. Due to this, the rose became a symbol for love transcending death, and resurrection. Sub rosa, under the rose, meant under the seal of secrecy. Another myth, tells that on the wedding day of Cupid (love) and Psyche (soul), roses were scattered over the land. Here, the rose serves as a symbol for the union.

A white rose could be a symbol for the virgin goddess, and the red for maternal sexuality. The rose came to be the symbol for the Virgin Mary. The briar is the male rose.

The rose itself can be a symbol for love, womanhood, or beauty. A rose in full bloom means I Love You. The rosebud means youthful beauty, young girl, purity, or innocent love.

The white rose means purity and innocence, secrecy, wisdom, and freedom. However, it can also be a symbol for death.

Red and white together, form the duality in alchemy. Together they can be a symbol for creation.


Herbal History ~ Rose Oil

Roses have considerable significance in theoretical and metaphysical aspects of alchemy, with red and white roses each being thought appropriate at different stages of the alchemist's work. It is for this reason that roses were placed in retorts with other materials in the attempt to transmute base metals into gold. But instead, what was produced, was the very first Rosewater & Rose essential oil.

The colors red and white are well known in qabbalistic and alchemical works for their symbolism of the intense creative powers of our psyche. See: “Part One, Imagination and Will-Power, Flying Roll No. II, Part III; and No. VI”, in Ritual Magic of the Golden Dawn, Works by S.L. MacGregor Mathers and Others by Francis King.

8-25-00 - You gotta wonder how many years I'm going to keep having these types of dreams.

DREAM - I was just moving into a large home in a very ritzy town, right across the street from houses that were facing the  ocean. The house directly across the street actually had stained glass windows in their doors. We're talking people with money.

I was obviously renting or housesitting in the house I was in. The house I was moving into was elegant, but there were signs that it had had a lot of other people in it before. The mattress was old and the drapery rods were old and bent on the ends. The curtains were pretty but old.

Some people came to the door and needed help getting their truck started. I could hear the truck outside with it's engines stalled, needing a new battery or something. I saw that they had a pretty green speed boat resting in the back of the truck. I was about to call a service truck for them, when I spotted my ex-husband Ed come into the yard. I about freaked out, but didn't have time to interact with him. He volunteered to help the people which was great, but at the same time, the wife or daughter of the house I was moving into came to check out the house and I had to escort her through the place. She wanted to inspect it.

So, I had to observe what Ed was doing at the same time I was escorting the woman through the house. I saw that Ed started up the motor on the boat and drove the boat through the yard around to the front of the truck to jump start the truck.

Meanwhile there were more people arriving at the house. A mother with her child arrived and I had to sign some little strip of paper which was pink and there was hardly room to write on the paper and the pen ran out of ink and I had to get another one.

She was there to reupholster the bed which she said they did once a year. Who was I to object. I'd have a mattress that had a shiny new blue quilted cover on it.

At the same time, I saw Ed get into a station wagon out in the dark with those other people and I got scared to death they were going out to party and he'd come home drunk and I'd have to deal with him in a drunken state.

I did't have time to be afraid right then. Some men came to the door with all new drapes and drapery rods and wanted to install them. They were all blue flowered and really beautiful.

In order to get them in the front door, the old woman and I had to squeeze past some stuff that was in the livingroom, including two lit candle stands. I was afraid we were going to knock them over but I don't think we did. The old woman said that her husband probably planned to have his annual party in this house because he was almost blind and he felt most at home here where he knew where everything was and knew his way around by 'feel'.

I had to move some potted plant type stuff from one table to another and I saw that there was a pedestal table there that was upsidedown and chairs broken. I was shocked and wondered how it could have happened.

I then saw that the people with the truck had returned. I looked around for Ed and didn't see him. I asked the people where he was. They said he was in ____ jail. I asked why. They said that they had taken him downtown to the bar to have a drink and he had gotten violent with the woman and started fighting with her, so they had jumped on him and arrested him and put him in jail. He said, You gotta wonder why he fights the people who try to help him." (These aren't his exact words... he said something about his being an agent or something)

I walked up to each guy and gave them a big hug. I felt such a sense of relief. The woman asked why I wasn't angry at them, and I explained that Ed had tried to kill me 15 years ago while he was drunk and he couldn't drink because he got violent.

The woman said, "Well, when he comes home you can give him a week and see how it goes."

I said, "No! He just had his chance and he blew it already, so he doesn't get any more chances."

She seemed to understand.

Just then Blair from the TV show, One Life to Live pulled up in front of the house in a sleek black convertible sportscar with the top down, with my daughter in the right passenger seat. I went out to say, "Hello" and Blair said that she usually drives around with her own daughter talking to her from behind after I admired her car and told her it was a nice car. But I could see there was no seats behind her, it was a two seater car.... you gotta wonder ....

8-31-00 - DREAM - I was in my apartment. A young man who is very familiar to me was moving in with me. He had a young slim girlfriend who was wearing chartreuse colored clothes. She said she had things to do and she left.

The young man was looking around and asking me why I had certain things in the apartment. There were a couple of strange looking dolls sitting on top of the TV set which my previous roommate had left behind. He questioned whether I needed them there and I said, "No!" and he took them down.

He sat on the couch next to me and picked up a pamphlet which I had and began to read it. He was enjoying it a lot. That pleased me.

I needed to change clothes as I had been wearing the same outfit for two days already. It seems there were only two rooms in this apartment, but there were tan curtains hung diagonally across the bedroom so I could change clothes behind the curtain just in case he would come strolling into the room by accident.

There were two packages of clothes laying on the ironing board which I had not ever worn before, so I pulled them out of the packages to decide which to wear.

The first one was a white T-shirt type thing with purple flowers on it, and a darker purple skirt with white flowers on it.

The second one was a white T-shirt type dress with purple flowers on it.

I decided to wear the white dress with the purple flowers first, and the other outfit the next day. I looked down and saw that I was wearing bright red slacks and was clutching a white bra in front of me but didn't actually have it on. I also needed to put on a white slip because I could see the sun shining through the dress.

I recalled that I had a new job to start downstairs in the Manager's office. I was going to be the assistant to the Manager though I already was thoroughly trained to do the job since I had done her job before. She wasn't aware that I had done that, so it was going to be interesting. Somehow I knew she was wearing all shiny black though I hadn't been down there yet.

There was also an undercurrent of emotion going on here that the young man was going to fall in love with me though we didn't yet know each other. The attraction was going to be the reading material I had shown him to start with.

10-21-00 - DREAM - I was in an apartment with other members of the family. We were still in bed in the early morning ... just being lazy and relaxing. This is the calmest I've ever felt in my life it felt like. We finally decided to get up and one of the men went to make breakfast. The milkman came and provided free eggs and milk for breakfast and even cooked it for us. that was really nice.

I then went downtown and met a girl I knew. We were walking along the street and ended up at the jewelry store where she was a clerk. The female owner met us at the door and we went inside. I introduced myself to her and told her that I was just cleaning out my wallet and ripped up a piece of paper I had in it. I don't know why I felt guilty being there.

I then went back home and saw that across the street, some teen girls went up an outside stairway to the second floor apartment and were knocking on the door. I saw that the whole inside of the door's window was bloody. Nobody opened the door and I was afraid to get involved, so I ran up the stairs to my own apartment. I wanted to get inside fast, but the ceiling was only 3 inches above the floor with a yellow flowered curtain for a ceiling. I discovered I could make the opening a foot high by pushing up on the ceiling, so I did that and crawled inside the apartment.

Later on, I opened the door to go back out of the apartment, and instead of a stairway, the other apartment was right across the hall. I was expecting to see the same blood, but instead an older dark haired woman opened the door to that apartment and there was no blood. I was trying to figure out how she cleaned up all that blood and what she was hiding.

10-26-00 - (I had a really hard time going to sleep after writing long e-mails yesterday. Then when I lay down I felt a sharp like cold electrical poker going through my left brain to my left ear. I don't think it was going from my ear towards my brain ... it felt like the other direction. The pain was incredible. It happened twice, then sent away. I don't know what caused it. At that moment I wasn't seeing anything astrally. However, after the pain passed, I started seeing gardens and parks with trees and shadowy people walking around in them. It was kind of cool)

DREAM - I was in my 16th St. house and needed to go to the upstairs bathroom. When I got there, I could hear water running behind the closed door and knew that someone was in there. It sounded like a shower was running ... something we never had back then. I realized it had to be my brother. I quietly walked across the hall and went into my old room, closed the door and started to lay down when I heard my brother come out of the bathroom, go into the master bedroom and start to get dressed. When I felt he was dressed all the way, I quietly walked to the door and came out of the room.

In the hallway, I met my other brother also who only lived in that house as a tiny child, not as an adult as he was now. My brother Marty told me that my brother John needed help in sorting out or dividing some plants that he had growing in his room. So we went in there. It didn't appear to me that he needed any help. All the plants were tidy. Perhaps a little large in their pots, but definitely not really needing any dividing at that point. I saw some really huge cactus type things behind that area and leaned over to look at them. Just my breath alone made one fall over backwards ... Ooops... I said and left the room.

I then found myself in a place that looked somewhat like my old apartment building on Jackson Street in Milwaukee in some aspects, but was quite different in others. It was rather de ja vu at the same time.

In 1989 I was the only white woman managing an all black building. Not the one described above. I managed that building for a year and a half, then moved to one a block away that was half and half color-wise. Three years later I moved to one that was mostly white near the downtown area. This was that building ... almost.

I went into one apartment which I asked the manager if it was apartment 5 because there was no number on the door. She didn't answer me, but invited me in to see the apartment which was a model, fully furnished.

The apartment was fully furnished as I said, with furniture, curtains, drapes, everything. It was wonderful. No one could have asked for better. After I finished looking at the apartment, I went out into the hallway again and headed towards the lobby.

Here in the hallway were all black men, dressed nicely in suits, but they would bump into me and I've have to say, "Excuse me", so they wouldn't think anything bad about me, but none of them said it to me. I was the only one who said it. I went through some doors, feeling very nervous about being here. I felt quite intimidated being the only white woman with all black men.

I came to the lobby which was quite extensive ... more like a mall seating area. The air felt quite heavy here and walking was difficult because of the heavy atmosphere it felt like ... like heavy gravity perhaps. I was wearing a long maroon gown which dragged on the floor it seemed because it felt like the women in the room, of which there were many were stepping on the back hem of my dress as I walked. Only by picking up my dress a little could I walk at all normally.

I was walking past the women who were seated. They were dressed in fancy gowns like at the opera, all coifed fancy, and wearing perfume and jewels. I then realized what was wrong with this scene and it rather horrified me ... these were all men ... dressed up like women. I had to walk around the whole area so as not to appear uncouth. I couldn't just cut and run. Having this heavy atmosphere or gravity made it take all the longer than normal.

I was being trailed now by the manager and some other woman who were touring with me. I was about to exit the room ... I was so sickened by what I was seeing, I started to say, "This place should bommmmmmmmmm.." and couldn't finish the word because as I turned my head, there was a cop sitting on the couch next one of them.

I knew as I was saying the word, it was a crime to threaten anyone or any place and instantly regretted it. I asked the women next to me in a whisper, "Do you think he heard me?" She said, "No! But he heard you say, "This is my first time back here! And he wrote it down and was watching you." I whispered back, "This is the last time I will come back here."

We continued on down the hall and came to an area where there were water hoses on the other side of a door that divided the building in the hallway. For some reason, I picked up the heavy hose and was dragging it down the hall with me, hosing down the walls to clean them.

I got almost to the next section door and spotted my grandson Nathan. He greeted me and said that he had been given the job of the hosing the area and he was allowed to go only to where I picked up the hose and he showed me how far he was allowed to go. He said it was area 'D'.

We went beyond that area then and I spotted my family having some kind of party. They were lining up on a stairway for a family picture. I heard my Father say, "It's too bad that Dolores isn't here." I piped up and said, "Yes! I'm here!", just as others said, "She's here!" I saw my Father look over towards where I was and he smiled and then went back to the pose he wanted for the picture.

We then got up to go celebrate my mother's birthday which just passed on October 6th and I couldn't be with her. The women were passing around little salty snacks on tiny trays and that's what my mouth tasted like when I woke up later. I went to sit next to my mother on a stairway built into the lobby for sitting on ... like built in stair benches. I saw knitting needles and a sewing kit there like someone had been sewing. I started to pick them up so I could sit there and started to wake up, feeling a picking feeling under my arm like I was getting jabbed by something I picked up. There was nothing sticking in my clothing that I could find however.

11-4-00 - DREAM - I was living in a huge apartment. It seemed to be on the northwest corner of Teutonia and Center, but there was never an apartment there, so I'm probably wrong. The apartment was on the 1st floor.

To start with, it seemed to be a computer scene, at least I remember seeing a screen with questions on it. It was about asking questions about the truth about ETs, and was like a mystery or detective story. I was then told that I was going about finding out the truth about ETs all wrong. I was thinking that perhaps I had to use torture to ask people questions instead of being nice. But then the story seemed to change.

I was in the same apartment, sitting alone in the livingroom, minding my own business and I saw someone standing outside on my porch, looking in the window. I didn't know who it was, so I went to the door to see who was there. The time was 5 minutes to 5. This is when I found out I was the manager of the apartment building.

I opened the door and there was a whole bunch of young people ... not kids ... seemingly around 18 to 20 years old. I didn't really know them, but their faces looked a little familiar. They wanted to come in and visit and party.

Right behind them, came several more groups of young people, some with kids. I said, "I'm sorry! It's too late to look at apartments now. They were all upset, but left. The first bunch of young people brushed right by me and went into the further reaches of the apartment. Some of them went into a back room where I could see them shooting pool around a huge pool table. (I didn't even know I had one)

Meanwhile, some of the girls went back out the door onto the porch, and then out the East sliding screen door. They not only left the screen door open, the thin veil-like curtains were blowing in the wind, both in the inner part of the apartment, but even more so on the porch.

I pulled aside the inner curtains and there sat my Mother, sitting on a chair like it was a throne. When I went out on the porch, more people came in, bringing huge piles of Christmas gifts. They were all green packages with gold ribbons on them. Stacks of them. These were all ages of people. They all came streaming in the apartment. Some looked familiar, but not all of them. I didn't really feel right trying stop people who were coming in to celebrate Christmas.

However, I didn't want the easterly door wide open to just anyone, so I went down some steps onto the porch proper, past my mother, and slid the screen door shut. As soon as I did, one of the original girls came back to the door wanting to come back in. She had been right outside the door, smoking a cigarette or something. I discussed with her the need to have this door shut, and she understood as long as she and the other girls could come back in when they wanted to.

I closed the door again, and went back to celebrate Christmas with the other people, and woke up to the telephone ringing... darn.

DREAM - 11-16-00 - I was in a room in a house where the walls were being replastered by my husband. He wasn't making them very smooth and I wanted to tell him where to put more plaster, but he went into the bathroom behind the shower curtain and was working in there.

While he was in the bathroom, the wall itself was replastering itself, smoothing itself out, making itself into purple instead of white, making itself into purple flowers of various types, which changed according to it's own whim.

I tried to get my husband's attention so he could see what was happening but I couldn't get him out of the bathtub. Even the shower curtain turned into purple flowers, but he wouldn't look.

My hand changed into a royal blue cheshire cat, and there were some other cute things happened which I can't all remember anymore, but I knew when I woke up, that much can be done with the mind.

I was also shown that a little boy had to change his diet, I gave him a small serving of ice cream and served another little boy a little tuna on toast. I knew that was meant for me too.

11-27-00 - All I can say is that the whole night was BORRRRRRINNGGGGGG!!!!!!

Dream #1 - There were 3 people watching me do what I was doing which was nothing ... I was just wandering around doing 'stuff' ... nothing important....

Dream #2 - I was trying to clean a bathroom in my mother-in-law's old farmhouse. You could scrub and scrub and scrub and it never got any better. I finally took down the pink plastic curtains and threw them in the tub to wash them. That made a whole lot of difference. As I finished that, it seemed that I was reading that story in a book and I showed it to another girl and told her how boring it was.

Dream #3 - I was helping another woman. I noticed that I was being watched by two pale tan airplanes which hovered nearby. We went outside together and I made myself very obvious and helped her put on a black suit jacket. She got into her car to drive it and the two pale tan airplanes were hovering there ... watching me do this. Then I hid inside the garage in front of the car where nobody could see me and pretended to be asleep. The girls from the previous dream came into the garage and saw me laying there pretending to be asleep. Then everyone went away and I woke up...


2-12-01 - DREAM - I was moving into a new apartment. It was full of furniture already, and other people lived there also. I ended up going to a meeting with people who seemed like reporters or something. We all sat in chairs facing on direction. Each person in the chairs, at the end of this meeting handed in something to the family who was in charge. My contribution was a huge red Bible. (the kind the Catholics used to use). The man behind me had the red box that the Bible belonged in. Each person had to sign out on a sheet when the meeting was over.

I was really slow in getting up, so I was last in line. When I went to sign out, I was handed the master key for the apartment which I was moving in ... it was turned in by the woman who had moved out. She also gave me a large box of goodies, like cleaning supplies or something.

I went back to the apartment ... I think it was #114 . It had been cleaned while I was at the meeting and smelled of fresh carpet cleaning ... that wet carpet smell. All the drapes and doors were closed which I immediately opened up. There were white lacy curtains on the east window. There was a white, flowered wing backed chair left behind. That's all the furniture there was.

I went to test the key, which was a little bent. I wanted to make sure it worked. It did, but I was opening all the doors from the inside, not from the outside.

I went out on the stairway and a little girl who was rather mean was chasing me and pulling at the threads from the hem of my skirt. She was trying to pull them out. I managed to yank the thread and break it, so she didn't have me stopped, but she kept chasing me, trying to pull that white thread out.

We got back to the apartment, which was now trashed with little pieces of junk. Her young brother was there as well. The mother then showed up. She was a small person, not very old herself it seemed. She wanted to know what had happened. I wasn't going to tell her anything, but she said to me, "You aren't honest and upstanding if you don't speak the truth." I  understood what she meant, but I didn't want to get the little girl in trouble despite what she had done. However, I finally spoke up and said that the young girl had tried to destroy me by pulling the thread out of the hem of my skirt on the stairway.

The mother, who looked even younger ... just a mere girl herself ... got a mean look on her face and started to attack me. I tried to defend myself and grabbed her around the head to stop her from hurting me and all of a sudden she went limp and her head was at an odd angle and she didn't seem to be breathing. I think I broke her neck.

I woke up instantly ... feeling shocked ....

I was laying there for a moment and I heard a knocking sound in my right ear. Knowing that it was a spirit trying to come in, I said nothing. I didn't even want to hear a message. I knew I was guilty of murder.

I was going to get up because Joe was gone from the room and the light was on in the other room beyond the closed bedroom door. Just as soon as I thought about getting up, I heard a voice say, "Wait, You don't know who I am, I'm from 1975 ...... I was too upset to listen to more.

1-3-2001 - I got really tired while researching references to the golden lion ceremony, so went to bed and had this dream:

DREAM - I was sitting in a lawn chair on the porch of my house at a big intersection where there was lots of traffic  It was on the northwest corner of Teutonia and Center Sts.. I was watching the people go by and talking with my children.

A man named David came along (I used to work with him at AC in the 70's) I started to tell him my dream about the ceremony of the golden lion and that it was probably connected either to Buddhism or the Templars, but it was probably the Templars. He agreed that it was probably the Templars.

I realized that I was wearing my green and white bathrobe and had a hideous scarf on my head and didn't want to walk down the sidewalk to my apartment like that, so I took off my robe, looking down to make sure I was fully dressed. I was wearing a red long sleeved sweater and light brown pants. I had socks on I think but didn't look that far.

I stood up and took off my bathrobe to carry it with me, and David followed me, carrying some research books, one of which looked like a large black Bible.  I picked up my children's socks, and the children, David and I went behind the corner house to my apartment building on Teutonia Ave.

I wanted to pick up my mail before I went into the apartment. I took out my keys and found the little 't' shaped mailbox key. Instead of opening the closed mailboxes below, I opened a mailbox on the top which had a fancy black grill over the front. I saw inside that there were post-it notes people had left for me, a small rolodex full of names and addresses, and someone had left a nasty old car ashtray full of nasty crumpled smoked cigarette butts and matchbooks that were white with black writing.  I didn't look at what the matches or the notes or rolodex said.

I took the ashtray and set it aside, remarking, "Who would leave such a nasty thing in my mailbox?"  I took all the rest with me to the door of the apartment.

I then opened my apartment door, remembering rumours I had heard about David, that he would go and stay anywhere that people would feed him. I thought about that while I was taking the scarf off my head and looking in the mirror while combing my hair with a small 3 toothed comb. My hair was getting lighter as I combed ... from black at the beginning to almost blonde when I was done. I said to myself, "I'm beginning to look almost human."

David was in the background, it seemed that he was getting ready to help me do the research on the ceremony of the golden lion. I was going to go on the internet and look again  for 'ceremony golden lion Templars.'  I knew I'd find what I needed there. I also decided to do it on Alta Vista so I could eliminate terms I didn't want to wade through.

At the same time I was remembering a place I had been to the day before and wondered if I could find it again. (I think I probably dreamed it and forgot the dream)  While I was thinking about this, I saw that David had opened 3 windows half way and the curtains and shades were pulled half way. The shades were light brown with fleur de lis on them.  I saw through the bottom half of the window that there was a huge expanse of green lawn outside and this was jogging my memory of where I had been ... in the country ... seemingly up a mountainside or at least on some high hills ... on a winding road until I came to a lake with a castle-like building. This is where the ceremony had been held.  It was most likely France.

I then closed the left-most window, and left the right-most window and the center window open because they had screens on them and I didn't have to worry about the kids or myself falling out of them.

I opened my eyes in the real world, surprised to find myself there, and thinking about the place in France I had been just yesterday and if I could find it again.

NOTE: Altavista didn't find it but Google did.

Masonic Bibliography Catalog

Orders of Chivalry in France

1-16-01 - DREAM - This whole dream was about dieting. It started out that I was in bed sleeping, and awoke in the  morning ... it must have been late, though I don't know what time it was ... the baby hadn't been fed in a long time.

There were other people in the bedroom who also had to be fed, but the baby was my priority to start with.

I got the baby up, who was sleeping under my bed. He wasn't so small afterall, and appeared to be about 3 years old. I woke him up and took him with me towards the kitchen. Nothing in this dream occurred in slow motion, but everything occurred slowly. It took me forever to do anything. I got distracted at every turn. I would start to do something and get sidetracked and do something else, then remember I was there to do the original thing, then would go back to it again. It was very frustrating ... but I took it in stride and wasn't getting upset.

On the way to the kitchen, I went past a door where two women were sitting at a somewhat darkened restaurant, waiting to be  served ice cream. I asked them if they had been served yet, and they said, "No!' I said I would take care of it. They thought I  was going to do it myself, but all I did was pass along the message to the man who was the cook and restaurant owner. I felt guilty for doing that, but at least the women would get what they were waiting for.

I finally made it to the kitchen, which was white and stark.

Before I fed the baby, I decided I should make coffee for everyone. First I had to find the coffee maker, which was in another room. The hallway was long between the kitchen and the room where the coffee maker was. I had so much energy I was dancing to rock n roll music both ways.

When I found the coffee maker, it was bare bones and didn't have a basket in it to put coffee ground in it. While I was standing there, I decided I could do things faster if I took off my high heeled shoes and wear sneakers or go barefoot, so I took off the shoes. I danced all the way back through the hall to the kitchen with the coffee maker.

Then I had to find the coffee pot, the metal one, where the basket was. That was in another room. Before I went there however, a darker skinned man appeared in the kitchen, waiting to be served coffee. I put my hand on his shoulder like I was going to ask him to do something for me,... but though I would have asked had I thought what it was ... he went with me all the way to the bedroom and I never thought what it was I wanted to ask him what to do. It seemed to me he was a smaller Jewish man ... but I can't swear to it.

We got to the bedroom, and saw that my husband's dresser was so full of shoes, and there were so many toys on top, the man asked me what that was all for. I told him that my husband had collected them over the years but never wore any of them. There were three huge drawers so full of men's shoes, the drawers couldn't even close. On top of the dresser were toys that were for my children, but were from other children and had never been played with. Over on the side of the room were toys, that were larger and had never been played with either. While I was looking at all this, I was still trying to think what I wanted to ask this man to do and never thought of it.

On the way back to the kitchen, near the larger toys, was a table with two sewing machines on it ... an old one and a newer one. Someone had tried to use it and red thread was all wound up and twisted down on the platen in a series of geometric figures, like figure 8's and 16's, etc. Someone there ... or the dark man ... said that I should throw out the sewing machine and get a new one ... but I knew that there was nothing wrong with the sewing machine ... one only had to know how to use it properly and I could rethread it and sew with it just fine.

We got back to the kitchen, which seemed to be a different kitchen, next to the other one. It now had a large window in it and some women had decorated it with lovely yellow lace curtains and the whole room had a yellow glow to it. It was really lovely.

I then went to an office or two offices ... not quite sure. One had my desk in it and one had my bosses desk in it. My boss had picked up his mail and opened it and dumped it on the floor behind his chair. I wanted to pick it up and go through it and see what kind of mail he had received, but there wasn't time to do that. It seemed that my boss was a lawyer. His briefcase was on the desk. I don't know where he was at the moment. I was scrubbing off his desk ... it seemed there was sticky stuff on it, like spilled ice cream. I scrubbed that off and dusted off the desk, then left the room again.

On my own desk, I just made sure it was cleaned off and that everything was done.

On the way back from the office, I decided that it was more elegant to wear high heeled shoes and put them back on again. As I left the room, I had to jump down off a high brick wall and land on my feet which I managed to do. It seemed there was a man watching me, but he was behind me and I couldn't really see him. I think it was someone I used to work with named David. He was just observing me as I did my duties ... not helping ... and not hindering ..but I felt a sense of encouragement from him. I was rather tottering at this point, trying to walk elegantly and I wasn't used to wearing the high heeled shoes again and I struggled to walk like a model ... which wasn't easy. And I made my way back to the kitchen again.

Nobody had been fed yet, and the coffee wasn't made ... but that's what I was about to do.

4-25-01 - DREAM - I was in a large office building. I was some sort of secretary it seemed. I noted that I had some papers I was trying to put away in a cabinet to keep them away from the prying eyes of some Chinese workers.

I went to another office where I was shown a demonstration of a machine that could sort 7 different sizes and shapes of papers into one file, completely alphabetized and enumerated properly. However, after I complimented the inventor of that machine and told them that I hoped the inventor had been awarded millions of dollars, we could never duplicate the feat of that machine again. The rest of the tests that we did with it, it could sort papers into alphabetical or numeral orders and separate them successfully, but it could never sort them together, only separate.

Finally, I went back to my own office and found that two Chinese workers were snooping around my desk, trying to find the papers I was carrying with me all the while. I had a pile of shoes/sandals under my desk with colorful straps on them, and offered them all to them, but they said they didn't want them. They were only interested in the papers I had.

I went on trying to sort clothing, curtains, and various odd shaped pieces of material with other people, but we couldn't find anything that matched that could be used to cover the windows or the tables and we had to finally give up, because we ran out of things that matched.

5-1-2001 - DREAM - I was in my house and I heard a tremendous crash of lightening/thunder. It sounded like it had struck the house itself. The sound was followed by a tremendous downpour of rain. The rain came down so hard, it was like being underwater, and it would have been impossible to walk or drive in it. It was like a solid wall of water coming down.

I ran upstairs to my son Michael's room and went to the window to look outside as that's where the sound had come from. I pulled aside the curtain and no more than 3 feet away from me, in the next house over was another woman who looked exactly like me looking out the window in the exact same manner. I put up my hand to wave and so did she. It was like a mirror image.

I then put the curtain back, feeling astonished. I told Michael I was going to do the laundry which was in the basement. I went down to the basement and Michael and my other son Kenneth came down there too. Both sons were learning to be carpenters and had built rough wooden carpenter tool boxes. Michael also brought down dozens of little yellow pillows he had made himself. He was going to dump them into the handmade carpenter tool box and I stopped him and admonished him, "Oh no! The pillows have to go into their own box."

I then looked at the washing machine which was stacked 3 feet high with folded quilts and blankets. I couldn't even do the laundry until I moved the stack over to find where the top of the machine started.

5-17-01 = DREAM - This dream was obviously interfered with because I was snoring or something because I kept trying to hold my lip down with my finger in the dream.

The dream itself took place in a house. I got up in the morning and there were a lot of workmen around. They were repairing the plumbing so there was no water in the bathroom to flush the toilet.

I went out into the livingroom where a painting crew was painting the whole thing bright blue. But when it dried, it looked like Battleship grey. I was upset about that, but then my girlfriend Donna showed me that the gray of the walls matched perfectly the gray of the drapes. She proceeded to knock down the drapes and curtains accidentally and the curtains fell over a woman laying on the couch and made her look like a bride.

5-23-01 - DREAM - I was in an apartment. I was trying to clean it perfectly. I made sure the furniture was neatly arranged, that everything was dust-free. Then a friend showed me that a dog had vomited under the bed and there was a trail of dog food leading out or in from under the bed as well. I went to get something to clean it up but when I returned, it was already done.

I went into the bathroom. I heard a woman singing from behind a bright blue curtain in the bathtub. I knew she was a prostitute and I wanted to remove her but knew I didn't have that right, so I just straightened out the curtain nicely and let her keep singing.

I was going to go somewhere to a class or lecture or something. An important man came along and I told him that I was trying to find the proper shoes to put on. I found every imaginable kind of brown shoes but couldn't find a matched pair. I was looking under the beds for the shoes. I told the man that my daughter and I wore the same size shoes though our feet were actually 1/2 size different. I looked down at my feet and saw that I already had a nice pair of brown shoes and was surprised to see them and decided to settle for what I had on.

After I woke up I remembered nothing, but then snatches of the dream started popping back into my mind. I lay my head back down on the pillow and started to remember things and have new visions. I don't know yet how this fits.

I remembered that ' Every 11 years was important, and the number 874. I had these visions:
Second number 11
The cycle

11 Abraam {ab-rah-am'} of Hebrew origin 85;
AV - Abraham 73; 73
Abraham = "father of a multitude"
1) the son of Terah and the founder of the Jewish nation

289 ampelourgos {am-pel-oor-gos'}
AV - dresser of vineyard 1; 1
1) a vinedresser
taken from 288 - 288 ampelos {am'-pel-os}
probably from the base of 297 and that of 257;
AV - vine 8; 8
1) a vine

297 amphoteros {am-fot'-er-os} comparative of amphi (around); adj
1) both of two, both the one and the other
874 aphorme {af-or-may'}
1) a place from which a movement or attack is made, a base of operations
2) metaph. that by which endeavour is excited and from which it goes forth
2a) that which gives occasion and supplies matter for an undertaking, the incentive
2b) the resources we avail ourselves of in attempting or performing anything

I did a web page on the Number 11

7-2-01 - Nap Dream - I was walking down a city street where there were a bunch of stores. I looked in the window of one the larger stores and I could see that they were setting up a display that had two ducks in it with ice skates strapped to their feet. I thought that was really cute and unusual. Who ever heard of ice-skating ducks?

It was starting to get dark outside. I was still looking in the window and I saw them turn on a bright light over the duck display like one would do in a fish tank, but then they lowered a curtain over the window so nobody would be looking into the store during the night when nobody was there.

But the person didn't do it very well and there was a gap between the curtain and the edge of the window one could still peek into and see inside.

So, as people walked by, I would say to them, "Hey!" There are two ducks ice-skating inside this store!"  People would disbelieve me and think I was lying. But I could show them the evidence by saying, "Just peek inside past the curtain," and sure enough they could see the ice-skating ducks for themselves.

NOTE: After I had this dream, I compared it to the problem of telling people about ETs and UFOs.  In the dream, I could show the people the 'proof' of the ice-skating ducks, but in the physical world, I could tell people about ETs and UFOs, but I had no physical proof I could show them so they disbelieved.